


Hope I've Got Something To Lose

by therumandcokediaries



Series: Frostiron and Spiderson [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Friendship, FrostIron - Freeform, Holiday, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, IronDad and SpiderSon, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Horror, Other, Parent Loki (Marvel), Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Supernatural Elements, Suspense, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, beach holiday, family stuff, holiday stuff, hospital stuff, ish, or at least an attempt at, unfortunately I'm a terrible person sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-10-03 21:02:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 74,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17291372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumandcokediaries/pseuds/therumandcokediaries
Summary: Peter has an accident, and Tony makes a drastic decision. In the midst of everything, a face from the past reappears - but Peter isn't too sure about reconnecting after everything that's happened.





	1. Big Trouble To Come

-

Loki stopped on the upstairs landing when he heard the front door go.

“Peter?” 

There was no reply. A brief silence followed, and then a crash.

“Peter!” Loki called again.

He went to the top of the stairs - and froze, just for a second.

“PETER!!”

Loki vaulted the banister, landing by the front mat and falling to his knees in front of Peter. Loki couldn’t speak. He had his hands poised but couldn’t bring himself to touch him. He just froze. Peter was collapsed against the wall, his mask pulled up, exposing half of his face. His suit was ripped right through the front - and his body too. He looked so weak, blood soaked, breathing heavily, trembling…

“Loki?” Tony called, his voice filling the horribly quiet foyer. “Loki, is everything alright?”

Loki still couldn’t speak, and then he heard footsteps, and Tony’s voice sounded again, much closer this time.

“Loki? Lo- oh my god, Peter!”

He rushed down the stairs and collapsed onto his knees, pulling Peter’s mask off and taking the boys bloodied face in his shaking hands.

“Peter? Peter, sweetheart, talk to me. What’s happened? Sweetheart?!”

Peter looked at him, but his eyes didn’t seem to focus. He couldn’t manage so much as a whimper.

“Ok sweetheart, ok, we’re gonna get you some help. You’re gonna be fine, you’re gonna be ok. Hold on darling, let’s get this off you” 

Tony tugged the Spiderman suit off the boy, and as the material was peeled off the wounds and Tony saw the extent of the damage, Peter starting crying, his arm jerking up and trying to push Tony’s hand away.

“Oh god. Oh god, Peter, what the hell happened?!” Tony almost shouted.

He was panicking, his whole body shaking. He pulled his hoodie off, pressing it hard against the worst of the wounds on the boys front. He looked frantically at Loki, who didn’t seem to have moved at all. 

“Loki! Loki, don’t just sit there! Call an ambulance!”

Loki barely seemed to register what was being said, but his eyes moved. He looked at Tony, and then back at Peter, whose poor face (and body, for that matter) was more red than white. Tony saw the look in Loki’s eyes. He pressed down hard on the hoodie with one hand and reached for his own phone with the other, his fingers fumbling on the keypad, his hand shaking as he held the phone to his ear.

“Ambulance service, is the patient breathing?”

“Yes. It’s my son, he’s been in an accident. I-I-I, I don’t know, we don’t know what happened, he’s hurt, there’s so much blood, he’s not properly alert. He’s fifteen. Peter? Peter! Stay with me, stay with me! Oh sweetheart, please, open your eyes! Just keep looking at me, kiddo. You need to stay awake”

“We’re arranging help for you, sir. What’s the address of the emergency?”

-

The tension in the relatives room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Loki sat on the seat in the corner, staring at nothing while Tony paced the room like a caged animal, biting his thumb. The ticking of the clock and Tony’s footsteps on the carpet were the only sounds in the room.

“He arrested, Lolly” Tony said suddenly, stopping and breaking the silence.

He sat down beside him, grabbing him by the upper arms and looking him in the face.

“I can’t do this. We can’t lose him, we just can’t”

His shoulders started to shake, and Loki pulled him close, holding him tight against his chest, burying his face in his shoulder, and crying too.

-

The door to the relatives room opened, and a doctor came into the room. They both looked at him, their hearts thumping.

“What?! What is it? Is he ok? Oh god, he’s dead, isn’t he?”

“No. Mr Stark. Starks” the doctor sat down with them. “We got him back”

Tony and Loki nearly fainted with relief. They hugged each other tight, crying again.

“S-so he’s gonna be ok?” Tony said desperately.

“We’ve got every reason to be positive. Mr Stark, Peter’s heart didn’t stop because of his injuries, but because of a reaction to some of the antibiotics we gave him. We’ve stabilised him and he’s doing well. I know it was scary, but the situation has been resolved. A note will be put in his medical records so he won’t be given the same antibiotics again. We’ll be keeping an eye on him for a few hours, and we might give him some medication to take for a few days after discharge, but we’ll have to assess him again and see if he’s at risk of another attack. I can only apologise. I’m so sorry this happened”

Tony nodded, breathing quite deeply, trying to take it all in.

“A-and his injuries?”

“Nasty, but not life or limb threatening. He might end up with a little bit of scarring on his chest and tummy, but any scarring should fade in time and become barely noticeable. He’s been all cleaned up and stitched up and dressed now. He’s got a couple of broken ribs, but the scans and x-rays didn’t show up anything sinister” 

“Has he said anything about what happened?”

“No. We did ask, of course, but he wouldn’t tell us. I’m afraid I don’t have any guesses either”

“Is he in pain?”

“He’s been given painkillers, so he won’t be right now. He will be when they wear off”

Tony nodded, taking a deep breath. “But he’ll be ok?”

“We’ve got every reason to believe so. Because of what happened, and because of the extent of his injuries, we’d like to keep him in overnight. We’ll find a bed on the ward for him soon”

Loki wiped his eyes, and Tony gave him a squeeze and wiped his own eyes on his sleeve. He looked back at the doctor.

“C-can we see him?” he almost whispered, his voice cracking. 

“Of course” the doctor stood up, and Loki and Tony did too. “We’ve got him in a side room. With respect, I will ask you to prepare yourself. He’s on oxygen and hooked up to drips and monitors, and I know it can look pretty scary”

Loki took Tony’s hand, and they looked at each other. Tony nodded.

“We’re ready”

-

Peter was laid back in bed looking very weak with his eyes closed. His face was largely obscured by an oxygen mask. In contrast, the bedclothes were only pulled up to his hips, so the big wound dressings and bruises were on show.

Tony stopped just inside the room, hands over his mouth, his eyes darting between Peter and all the monitors and drips attached to him.

Loki walked over and stood on the left hand side on the bed. He rested a hand on the top of Peter’s head, and the boys eyes opened. A little smile spread over his face, and he reached up and pulled the oxygen mask down off his face.

“Dad..!”

His voice was small, a little croaky, but it was obvious he was happy to see him. Loki gave him a reassuring smile, stroking his hair softly with his palm.

“Don’t you ever do that to us again” he said gently. 

“…I’m sorry” Tears pricked his eyes. “I was so scared..”

Loki rested his forehead against Peter’s. “Shh, sh sh. I’ve got you. You’re safe now”

Tony swallowed hard and approached on the right of the bed. He took hold of Peter’s hand, and Loki straightened up.

“You scared the life out of us, chick” he said, voice trembling. “Oh darling. Oh darling”

He looked back over his shoulder as he heard the door close, and they were left alone in the room. He looked back at Peter.

“Peter, what happened? Tell me exactly what happened. Who did this to you?”

“I don’t really remember” Peter lied.

Loki looked hard at him. Peter looked back. They both knew that Loki knew he was lying. Loki sighed, and kissed his forehead.

“Tony, he’s exhausted. Whatever happened, it must have been traumatic. Let him rest. He’ll probably remember in a day or two when he’s starting to get better”

Tony sighed. “I’m sorry, kiddo. We’ll talk about this later” he looked at Loki for a moment, and then back at Peter. “Let’s just focus on getting you better”

“I’ll be ok” Peter said uncertainly. “Um… can you put the bed up a bit more?”

Tony looked at Loki, and Loki put the bed up a little more and helped Peter into a better position, being incredibly careful.

“Better?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, lots. Thank you”

“Sweetheart, we were so worried” Tony said.

“It’s a good job I managed to get back to the house, eh?” Peter said, trying some feeble humour.

Tony shook his head at him. “It’s not really a laughing matter”

He looked the boy over, sighing sadly.

“Dad?”

“Are you cold? Or sore? Uncomfortable at all?”

Peter shook his head. “I’m fine dad, honestly. Well, not fine, but, uh… I’m ok”

“I’m not sure I believe you” Tony said. “You’re all wheezy”

There was a knock on the door, and a nurse and porter came into the room.

“Hello. We’ve found you a bed on the ward. We’re ready to move you upstairs now” the nurse said.

Peter started to feel funny, and his heart monitor reflected this.

“Oh dear, are you feeling nervous, pigeon?” the nurse asked, coming over to the bed. “Don’t worry, you’ll be well looked after. Now, shall we?”

Tony cleared his throat and replaced the oxygen mask over Peter’s mouth and nose.

“You’re in the best possible place, darling. They’ll look after you”

-

Peter started crying properly once they’d been settled in the ward side room and left alone.

“Peter?! Hey, sweetheart, shh! Oh darling, don’t cry!” Tony hugged him, a little awkwardly, as he didn’t want to lift him off the bed in case he hurt him more. 

“I don’ want you to go! I don’t want to be here on my own!”

Loki slipped out of the room. He returned a few minutes later. Peter was quieter now, although still sniffling a bit. Loki poured him a glass of water and helped him to drink it.

“Now don’t look so tragic” he said. “We’re not going anywhere”

-

The hospital staff were surprised at Peter’s recovery. By morning, although a little peaky and a little sore, he was almost back to his usual self. He was stable, had no risk of having another anaphylactic shock, and showed no signs of anything else dangerous going on. After being thoroughly assessed, he was discharged home with a prescription of painkillers and plenty of rest.

-

The hospital painkillers were wearing off, and Peter wasn’t very happy when he got home. He was terribly sore and his chest ached from his broken ribs. Loki got him a glass of water and got him to take some of his prescribed pills, and then, together with Tony, very carefully got him into his pyjamas and tucked him into bed, propped up against lots of pillows as the hospital had advised. Loki sat down to the right of him, tucking his Peter Rabbit toy under one arm and his snowy seal toy under the other. Tony sat down on his left. Peter pulled his arms free from the covers, resting them atop the quilt with the baby kangaroo toy Flo had given him in his hands.

“Now, I know you’re tired and sore, sweetheart, but we really need to talk” Tony said. “What happened to you yesterday?“

Peter looked down at the kangaroo, playing with its ears.

“Peter? I know you were in shock yesterday. But do you remember what happened now?”

Peter swallowed, and nodded.

“Tell us what happened. I need to know who did this to you. If someone is after you-”

“They’re not” Peter interrupted. “Look, I got into a bit of a, uh, well, struggle, I guess, and like, well, it  _kinda_ got sorted, and it kinda didn’t, but like, well, I’m fine, y’know, so it doesn’t really matter”

“Doesn’t matter? Doesn’t  _matter_?! Of  _course_ it matters! You could have  _died_ , Peter!” Tony shouted. 

“Tony, please” Loki said. “This is hard enough without you upsetting him any further”

Tony sucked his teeth. “Sorry, sorry. Ok. So, you got into a fight”

“Struggle” Peter said, a little hesitantly. “They didn’t hurt me. Well, they did, but only a little bit”

“A little bit? Peter, we saw the state of you when you got home. Just look at yourself. That’s not just ‘a little bit’” Tony said, starting to get irate again.

“They didn’t do the big stuff, I swear! It was just, um, well, it was this old building site, yknow, abandoned and stuff, where we struggled” Peter said, looking back down at the kangaroo in his hands. “It was gonna fall on them. They were kinda not good people, but they didn’t deserve that. I just kinda pushed them out of the way without thinking, and it, well, it fell on me instead”

“ _What_ fell on you?! For gods sake Peter, just tell us!”

Peter flinched a bit at his tone, and Loki put an arm round him protectively. Tony sighed, closed his eyes for the count of ten, and then looked back at Peter.

“What fell on you? How did it fall?”

“I don’t know! It was an old building site. Everything was kinda up on like, a ledge kinda thing, just gravel and dirt and stuff, and we were down in this kinda dip below it. We must’ve disturbed the rubble or something. It was just some kind of old building site vehicle thing. I don’t know what they’re called. Just, I was in kinda an awkward place, and like, all this rubble fell when it fell, and like, I don’t know, I don’t know!”

“Shh, ok, ok, it’s alright” Tony took his phone out, getting a picture of common building site vehicles up. “Was it one of these?”

Peter looked at the picture, trying to remember.

“I think it was that one” he said, pointing to the skid steer loader. “They’re pretty scary when they’re looming above you, you know”

Tony found a photo on google images and showed it to him. “This?”

“I think so?” Peter shrugged. “I-I don’t think it was any of the other ones. I think the big spadey bit caused this” He gestured to his front. “I managed to get it off me though. Which I suppose is a bit obvious…”

“How are you so calm about this?”

“Well, I might’ve gotten hurt, but I stopped three people from getting hurt or killed, didn’t I? I was just doing the Spiderman stuff. Yknow, looking out for the little people”

Tony stared at him. Loki saw the look in his eyes, and quickly intervened.

“Peter’s exhausted” he said. “We should let him rest”

Tony tore his eyes away from Peter and looked at Loki.

“Rest. Right. Yes” he stood up, tucking the quilt over Peter’s arms again. “Rest and recover”

Loki kissed Peter on the cheek. “You shout if you need anything, anything at all, ok?”

Peter nodded. “Ok”

“Good boy. How’s the pain now?”

“Not great, but better than it was”

“Painkillers will be kicking in before long, chick. You do need to rest, though. You look so tired”

He kissed him on the cheek again, and Tony kissed his forehead.

“Sleep well, sweetie” Loki said.

“See you later, kiddo”

Peter watched them draw the curtains and turn the lights off before they left and close the door behind them. He lay back against the pillows, playing through the events of the last 24 hours in his head. He hadn’t really registered the severity of the situation. He knew what had happened. The stuff he’d missed, he’d caught up on by reading the notes at the end of the bed while Tony and Loki were asleep during the night. He’d nearly died. But it wasn’t the first time, and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last. So, he had an known allergy now. That was new. But the other stuff? Not so much. He still had heavy dressings on his chest and tummy, but he could still just about feel the bumps of the stitches under them. He had stitches on his head too, and steri-strips. He had lots of plasters and dressings all over himself. No wonder he was feeling so battered and bruised. The only thing really bothering him about the whole situation was the broken ribs. He knew they would take about six weeks to heal, meaning he probably wouldn’t be up to going out in the Spiderman suit for a while.

Ah. The Spiderman suit. Tony hadn’t mentioned it yet, but Peter knew it wasn’t in a good state. Ripped, quite badly. Dirty, definitely. Bloody - also definitely. Loki could get stains out of most anything, so maybe the dirt and blood wouldn’t be such an issue, but he wasn’t sure if the suit itself was beyond repair or not. He certainly hoped it wasn’t, but he couldn’t really remember. He hadn’t focused on the state of his suit after the incident at the building site, but on getting home unseen. He’d managed that, miraculously. But something told him that the consequences of this excursion hadn’t finished presenting themselves just yet.

-

Peter didn’t see Tony again that day. He was confined to bed rest and spent a lot of the day asleep, but Loki came to check on him quite frequently. He helped him drink and made him comfortable and fed him a bowl of broth, which Peter thought utterly disgusting but was told would do him good.

Midway through the afternoon Peter found himself wide awake and unable to get back to sleep. He told Loki the next time he checked on him, and Loki found a notebook and pens and they spent a long time playing noughts and crosses and hangman together. Before they knew it, it was six o’ clock.

“We need to get you fed, really” Loki said, putting the notebook aside on the bedside table. He felt Peter’s forehead. “You’re still pretty warm, but you’ve got a bit more colour in your cheeks. Still, I don’t think you should have anything too heavy. Maybe we should play it safe and just give you some more of that broth”

Peter pulled a face. “Nooo, not the broth! Anything but the broth”

Loki laughed slightly. “Ok, ok. Hmm, what shall we give you, then?”

Loki thought for a moment, trying to push the recurring ‘cheese sandwich’ thought aside for long enough to think of another option. He needed something light, but something healthy and wholesome and easy to eat and digest. He couldn’t bear it if he made his poor injured son sick on top of everything else.

“Scrambled eggs on toast?” he suggested eventually.

“With tomato sauce and lots of butter?” 

“If that’s how you’d like it. You like that idea?”

Peter nodded eagerly. “I haven’t had scrambled egg on toast for ages, and you always do it so well”

“Well, you sit tight, sweetie. I’ll be as quick as I can”

-

Loki sat on the edge of the bed, watching the boy as he ate, one hand rested on his knee.

“Tha’ was real good. Thank you” Peter said, swallowing his last mouthful. “…Dad? Are you ok?””

Loki took his plate and moved it aside. “Not really”

“Why not? Are you getting ill again? Is it the M.E?”

Loki shook his head. “I thought I’d lost you”

Peter swallowed. “I’m ok”

“But you weren’t, not for a minute there. You’re not really ok now, are you? Look at the state of you”

“What do you mean?” Peter said, hurt. “It could’ve been a lot worse” 

“It could have been a lot better, too!” Loki snapped. “You shouldn’t’ve put yourself in a situation like that!”

“But if I hadn’t pushed them away, those people would’ve got hurt!  _They_ wouldn’t’ve been able to get themselves free, and one of them was only a kid, an-”

“ _You’re_ only a kid! Peter, I don’t care about the other people; I care about you! You’re the one who ended up in hospital. You’re the one whose heart stopped-”

“But that was because of those antibiotics, not because I was hurt!” Peter interrupted. 

“That’s not the point! The point is, you put yourself in danger, and you ended up hurt. Badly. I couldn’t stand it if I lost you”

Seeing the tears in his eyes, Peter swallowed his fight and shifted closer, careful so as not to hurt himself, and hugged Loki.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you”

“I know you didn’t. But you did worry me. You worried both of us” Loki sighed and hugged him tight, burying his face in the boys curls. “I’m just glad you’re gonna be ok. I’m so glad it wasn’t worse…”

“I’ll be back to normal in a couple of weeks. Umm, well, mostly. Ribs’ll take a bit longer. Six weeks… Aww, I won’t be able to do much, will I?”

“Maybe you’d better take up reading. Or start a boxset. Play with your toys. Just nothing  _too_ active. Hey, what’s with the face? It’s not like you’re gonna be bed-bound or stuck in a wheelchair for the next six weeks. You’ll just have to lay off the rough play for a little while”

Peter sighed. He flopped against Loki, and sucked his breath in pain, quickly jerking away.

“Peter? What’s the matter, sweetheart? Is it your ribs?”

Peter nodded, clutching himself. “And those big cuts on my front. I think the painkillers are wearing off”

“You can take some more if you need to. Here, let’s get you settled”

He fluffed the pillows and propped Peter back up against them. He passed him his painkillers and a glass of water.

“I don’t really want to take them” Peter said, turning the box over in his hand.

“You’re in pain, darling”

“I know. But it’s not really  _too_ bad at the moment. I don’t feel like loading up on pills is such a good thing”

“You don’t have to put on a brave face. You were prescribed these for a reason. But if you don’t want to take them, I won’t make you” Loki took the box and glass and set them back on the bedside table. “If you feel you need them, they’re there. You know the dose”

“Thanks, dad”

“What for?”

“For listening to me”

Loki nodded. He tucked Peter’s seal and Peter Rabbit under the boys arms, and pulled the quilt up to his neck.

“Shout if you need anything. You know I’m just next door”

“Yes, dad. Goodnight, dad”

“Goodnight, darling”

*


	2. Downtrodden People

-

Peter spent the next couple of days doing not very much at all. He laid in bed, slept, and reluctantly allowed himself to be looked after. On the morning of the third day, Peter awoke early, but stayed lounging in bed quietly until around 10am, when his bedroom door opened.

“Hey dads” he said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “Can I go out today? I think a walk would be a good idea”

“How are you doing today, Peter?” Tony asked, stopping beside the bed.

He didn’t sit down. Peter looked at him sceptically.

“…I’m ok. Much better than the other day. Are.. are you ok?”

He hadn’t seen Tony much at all since getting home, and it was most disconcerting. He’d been a bit too weak to go and seek him out himself.

“We need to talk”

Peter looked at Loki, who had sat down right at the end of the bed, on the right. He looked back at Tony.

“Umm… Can you sit down? You’re making me nervous, looming above me like that” 

Tony sat down reluctantly. “We need to have a chat”

“Why?! What have I done?!”

“You know what you’ve done”

“Do I?”

“Yes! You put yourself in hospital”

Peter stared at him. “ _I_ put myself in hospital?? I had an accident! It wasn’t my fault!”

“It never would have happened if you hadn’t been there in the first place”

“Well, no, but lots of things wouldn’t’ve happened if I hadn’t been there. Or if you hadn’t been there” he looked at Loki. “Or you”

“We’re not talking about me and your dad; we’re talking about you” Tony said firmly. “You put yourself in danger, and you hurt yourself badly”

“I think you’re overreacting. I’m  _fine_ ”

“Don’t you get cheeky with me”

“I’m not! It’s just cuts and bruises!”

Tony suddenly grabbed hold of him, making him flinch, and yanking the boys shirt up.

“ _Just_ cuts and bruises?  _Just_ cuts and bruises, is that what you call this?! Any deeper,  _any_ deeper at  _all_ , and you’d’ve been rushed to theatre to have your internal organs sewn up too. You’re stupidly lucky that you haven’t ended up with internal damage after what happened!”

Peter didn’t listen to him properly. “You’re hurting me! Owww! Let go of me!” 

Tony didn’t, still looking at the state of his son. “I feel for that nurse who had to fill in your body map. There’s hardly an inch of you that’s not cut or bruised or grazed. Have you any idea what you’ve put us through?”

Peter just cried. Tony wasn’t exactly being gentle, and the way he was holding his shirt up was putting a lot of strain on his chest.

“Tony” Loki spoke. “His ribs”

Tony looked at Loki, and slowly released Peter. Peter tugged his shirt down and shifted away from Tony, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“I’m sorry” Tony sighed. “See, this is what I’m talking about. You’ve really hurt yourself. You nearly died, Peter”

“Hey, that wasn’t because of the accident, and you know it” Peter scowled. “So, I’ve got an allergy. At least it happened in the right place”

“Your heart stopped, Peter! You nearly died, and it  _is_ because of the accident, indirectly. If you hadn’t’ve been hurt, you wouldn’t’ve needed to be put in hospital, and you wouldn’t’ve been given the antibiotics, you wouldn’t’ve gone into anaphylactic shock, your heart wouldn’t’ve stopped, and WE WOULDN’T’VE HAD TO SEE A GROUP OF DOCTORS JUMPING UP AND DOWN ON YOUR CHEST!”

“Don’t shout at me!” Peter cried. “It’s not like I did it on purpose!”

“That’s completely beside the point! You got yourself hospitalised!” 

“Yeah, and I saved three other people by doing so! I didn’t do anything bad!”

Tony growled, gritting his teeth. “You just don’t  _get_ it, do you? You go out in your little suit and you stop little burglaries and stop people from getting hit by cars and you fight off attackers, but while you’re out being Spiderman, you forget that you’ve got some people waiting for you to get back and every night hoping that when you return we don’t have to get the first aid box out”

“I don’t forget, you know I don’t! I don’t really get hurt when I’m out, not usually. This is just a one-off! I think. Anyway, I’ll be back to normal in six weeks, yknow, once my ribs have healed completely. Next time will be different, just a normal patrol”

Tony sat up straight. “There is no next time”

Peter looked at him with a nervous smile. “What do you mean?”

“I mean what I said. You’re not doing this again”

“I’m not gonna rush out” Peter said. “I’ll wait until I’ve been to all my check ups and I’ve been given the all-clear, and-”

“Peter, stop. Now listen to me. You, have put us through hell”

Peter looked at him. His heart was starting to thump, and he felt hot all over.

“I’ve looked at the suit. I thought about fixing it. And then I thought some more. I thought about what you looked like when I saw you against the door. I thought about everything that happened at the hospital, and how weak and hurt you were when we got you home. You’re our son. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life. We got so close to losing you. I can’t let that happen again” 

“I’ll be more careful. I-I-I’ll avoid building sites and abandoned places” Peter tried to bargain. 

He was starting to tremble. He hated being in trouble. Sure, he’d worried his parents, but he hadn’t  _meant_ to - and he certainly didn’t get hurt on purpose. He was tired and sore and he didn’t feel up to listening to another Tony Stark Health and Safety Lecture.

“Peter-”

“I promise!”

“Promises aren’t enough. I can’t give you control over this. I can’t let you put yourself in such a dangerous situation again”

“But I was helping people! That’s what I do! If I hadn’t pushed them out of the way-”

“Stop interrupting. You’re the kid, I’m the adult. I speak, and you listen” he put his hands on Peter’s shoulders so he had to look at him. “Now you listen here and you listen good: You’re done. I’m not fixing the suit, and don’t even  _think_  about trying to fix it yourself, because I’ve put it away somewhere where you can’t get at it. Forget about it. All the evening patrols, the jumping between buildings, foiling minor crimes, all of it. You’re finished”

Peter stared at him. He shook his head.

“No. No! Dad, please, don’t do this” he begged, his voice trembling. “W-we can set boundaries, sort things out. Maybe you could come with me? I won’t get hurt again, I swear!”

“You can’t know that. I know you mean well, but you’re no good to anyone if you don’t look after yourself, and you  _don’t_. You’re a little kid, and it’s high time you stopped trying to act like an adult, like something you’re not. You’re not having the suit back and that’s final”

Peter couldn’t help the tears from falling. He tried hard to stay composed, but he was shaking so much and he couldn’t help crying.

“I-is this gonna be like after the ferry, where you take my suit away and then I do something you’re impressed by and then you give me the suit back?”

“No. No, I’m not just taking the suit away; I’m putting a stop to this once and for all. You will not be Spiderman any-”

“You can’t take that away from me!! I’ve been Spiderman since before I even  _knew_ you! Oh dad please, you-”

“Stop interrupting me, you little-” Tony growled, mainly to himself, and tightened his grip on the boys shoulders. “You are never going out as Spiderman again. No more suits, no more ‘super hero’ stuff, no more patrols, nothing. You’re  _done_ , you here me? Done”

“You can’t do this! You can’t stop me from being Spiderman!” Peter sobbed. 

“I can, I will, and I have. You can try to sneak out all you want; you won’t be successful. You’ve knackered yourself, and you won’t be fit for so much as a light jog for a while yet” Tony hissed. “From now on, you can forget about Spiderman and everything surrounding that routine. So help me, we will put a seal on this house, on all the doors and windows, hell, even on the air vents. You are never leaving this house unsupervised again, do you understand me?”

Peter understood all too well. He pulled away from Tony, covering his mouth with both hands, shaking his head. He looked at Loki for help, and saw at once by the look on his face that this was news to him as well - which meant he might not necessarily be on Tony’s side.

“You’ve gotta change his mind! Daddy, please, make him change his mind!” Peter cried.

Loki didn’t say anything, and that in itself said plenty. Peter sat back on his heels and howled.

“It’s not fair! It’s not fair! You’ve been hurt in  _your_  suit before and you still do it, so why do you have to stop  _me_?! You can’t do this!”

“Now now, Peter, don’t get hysterical” Tony said. “You’ll pop your stitches”

“I don’t care! Oh dad please, please fix my suit! Please don’t take this away from me! It’s all I’ve got! Please!”

“What did I just say? Calm down. I’m doing this for your own good” 

“What’s good about this?! The only reason we know each other is because you saw those videos and liked what I did and you believed in me and helped me get even better at it and you always supported me and the Spiderman stuff and now you’re just taking everything away from me! You’re taking away everything I am!”

“Don’t be ridiculous” Tony snapped, getting angry to stop himself from taking pity on the boy. “You aren’t just Spiderman. Certainly not anymore”

“Yes I am!”

Tony grabbed him by the shoulders again. “You listen to me. You’re not Spiderman, and you never will be again. You are Peter Benjamin Parker-Stark, and that’s all you ever need to be”

“Well I wish I wasn’t! I hate you! You’re ruining my life!”

“You’re wearing yourself out”

He wasn’t wrong. Peter was tired enough as it was, and this emotional blow wasn’t helping at all. His chest really hurt, and it wasn’t just because of his deep cuts and broken ribs. He felt like his heart was breaking. He felt sick. Crying hurt so much, but he couldn’t stop, even if he wanted to. 

Tony wound his arms round Peter. Peter jerked away quickly and clumsily, and yelped at a horrible tugging pain, clutching at his front. 

“Oh god, you silly boy”

Tony tried to take hold of him again, but Peter pushed him away despite the pain. All in an instant, Loki was at his side, and, looking down, Peter saw the blood soaking through his shirt, and realised what had happened. But he didn’t care.

“I hate you!” he shouted at Tony, while Loki held onto him and applied pressure to his tummy. “This is all your fault! I hate you! I never wanna see you again!”

Tony sighed and stood up. “I’ll be back in a minute, chick. I’m gonna go and call Bruce”

Loki held Peter close, and the boy just sobbed, clinging to Loki’s arm and deciding then and there that he only had one dad.

-

Tony stopped biting his thumb when Loki and Bruce came into the kitchen after seeing to Peter.

“Is he ok?” he asked desperately.

“He’d just popped a few stitches, like you said” Bruce said. “Look, I don’t wanna tell you how to do your job, but try not to get him excited again so soon”

“It wasn’t excitement that caused this” Loki said bitterly. 

“He can throw as many tantrums as he wants; I’m not changing my mind” Tony said plainly. “He’s our kid, and I think it’s high time we started acting like responsible parents”

“Hey look, I don’t know what’s goin’ on here” Bruce said, holding a hand up. “But that kid’ll do himself even more damage if you put him at that level of upset again before those big cuts have healed. I can only do so much here” 

“We’ve got the situation under control” Tony snapped. He sighed. “Sorry, I’m just stressed out. Thanks for coming over. You know it means a lot”

“I know. Look, don’t worry: I don’t wanna interfere in your family stuff. Keep an eye on him, keep that wound clean, watch out for infection - you know the drill by now. I don’t think you will, but ring me again if you need me”

“Thanks mate. No really, thank you”

“I don’t know how you do it, Tone. That kid is always in trouble” Bruce shook his head. “Well, rather you than me. See you later. Bye, Loki”

“Goodbye. Sorry we always see each other under these circumstances”

“Take me out for a drink some time and we’ll call it even”

-

Loki waited until Bruce had gone before turning to Tony.

“I don’t think you’ve made a good decision” he said. “Or a wise one”

“I’m not gonna let that kid kill himself. The world was fine before Spiderman, and it’ll be fine without it”

“Try telling that to Peter”

“Sooner or later he’ll get over it and see that I’m right. We’ve let him have free reign for too long. It’s high time he calmed down and let us take care of him”

Loki sighed.

“What are you sighing about? You totally froze the other day. I’ve never seen you so scared before. Aside from you, that kid is pretty much all I’ve got. I’m not gonna lose him. Not if I can help it”

-

Loki pulled Peter onto his lap. 

“Oh dad” Peter whimpered. “It’s not fair. How could he do this to me? You don’t agree with this, do you?”

“We just want you safe” Loki said. “Shh, shush now, it’s gonna be ok. I’ve got you”

“It hurts so much-!” 

Loki kissed him on his flushed cheek and held him as tight as he dared. The poor boy was still crying horribly, and it was hurting him physically to do so, which in turn was making him cry more. 

“Peter, sweetheart, you need to try to calm down. You’re hurting yourself. Breathe”

“I can’t! I can’t! I’m just so upset” he bawled. “I want my suit back!”

“I know darling” Loki said, stroking his damp hair. “But you need to get yourself better. You need to rest, and you need to eat - and you need to  _breathe_ , Peter. Come on, calm down now”

“How would you feel if you’d just had the thing that means the most to you taken away from you?!”

“I nearly did”

Peter looked at him, and then started to cry harder still. He buried his face in a pillow to drown everything out, and Loki stopped trying to calm him down and just held him tight and tried to work out what to do.

*


	3. Put Yourself In My Shoes

-

Over the next few days Peter refused to eat. He confined himself to his room where he lay in bed sipping Lucozade and staring into space.

A week or so after the accident, Peter was given no choice but to face Tony. He got dressed only at Loki’s command, and he didn’t say a word to Tony. He barely looked at him. He sat stubbornly in the car with his face turned towards the window. Once at the GPs office, he was overcome with sorrow that Loki hadn’t been able to come along. Having the stitches removed was uncomfortable, and he rather wished he had a hand to hold - but there was no way he was going to hold Tony’s hand. There was no way he was going to forgive him. He vowed never to have anything to do with him.

-

For a little while, Peter did very well at keeping to his vow. One benefit of the GP visit (aside from the obvious) was getting a little bit of fresh air. He felt better for it. He got himself something to eat once they got home, and then went and waited in the reading nook for Loki to get back. 

After that he set back into a relatively normal routine. He was stronger now, able to look after himself more. Still, Loki was continuously checking on him, and so was Tony. The difference was, Loki received a response. Tony was shunned in every which way. If Tony cooked, Peter wouldn’t eat it. If Tony made a pot of tea, Peter wouldn’t drink it. If Tony suggested a film, Peter wouldn’t watch it. Nothing he could do would sway the boy, who had spent two full days crying like a child after being told he could never be Spiderman again. He didn’t speak a word to Tony, and he looked at him as little as possible.

As much as Loki understood and empathised with Peter’s feelings and his subsequent actions, he didn’t agree with them - much less like them. All in all, it wasn’t too bad for him: Peter spent a lot of time with him, and let him look after him. But Loki loved his husband, and he saw how upset Tony was with how Peter was acting towards him. Tony loved Peter with all his heart, and he just wanted him safe. He was past being angry at Peter, and now was overcome with sadness and an immense feeling of guilt every time Peter ignored him or rejected his efforts to help. Loki saw this, and he hated it. He knew Peter was hurting terribly, but he couldn’t stand seeing Tony upset too. He was hurting as well - and he wasn’t strong enough to solve everyone else’s problems alone.

-

Loki sat down with Peter out on the balcony.

“We need to have a chat”

Peter’s head snapped up. He hadn’t done anything much today, and certainly not anything to get into trouble for, so he was confused.

“Peter, I know you’re hurting. I know how much the suit and everything you did in it meant a lot to you. I know you haven’t yet accepted that-”

Peter pressed his hands down over his ears. He didn’t need to hear this again. He was still foolishly trying to convince himself that Tony would change his mind sooner or later, if only to get him to talk to him again. He had to cling to that little thread of hope.

Loki took his wrists and pulled his hands away from his ears.

“Sweetheart, listen to me” he said. “Yes, you’re broken-hearted, I know that. But the way you’re treating your father is really out of order”

“Out of order? I’ll tell you what’s out of order: seeing your kid getting ready to go out on patrol and giving them a hug and telling them how proud you are of them, and how much you admire what they do, and then two days later snatching it away from them and banning them from so much as leaving the house again.  _That’s_ out of order! I don’t want to be around the man that did that to me!” 

“Peter” Loki said calmly, wiping the tear from under Peter’s eye with the pad of his thumb. “I understand how upset you are, I really do. I feel for you, but I feel for my husband too. Darling, the state that you came back to us in that day was… I don’t really have the words. I can’t describe what we went through that night. I know why your dad’s chosen this course of action, and I know you don’t agree-”

“Do you agree?”

“That doesn’t matter. But what I  _don’t_  agree with is the way you’ve been treating him. He’s only trying to look out for you. He loves you to bits, and you’re breaking his heart, ignoring him and shunning everything he offers you and barely even looking at him, let alone speaking to him. It’s rude and it’s disrespectful, and most of all, it’s hurtful. You’re really upsetting him, and I can’t stand for that”

“But he  _knows_ how much this has hurt me! If he really cared about me and what I think or whatever, he’d give me my suit back!”

Loki sighed. “You’ve really missed the point here, sweetie. He didn’t take the suit away as punishment. Surely you know that?”

“No, I don’t know that! He  _is_ punishing me! You can say he’s just trying to protect me all you want; I know it’s a lie. I can protect myself. How would he like it if someone took _his_  suits away?”

Peter stopped, suddenly hit with an idea. 

“Peter? No. No, don’t you dare”

-

Peter was quick. Loki caught up to him at the door of the lab, and grabbed him by the arm.

“Peter, you won’t achieve anything by doing this”

“You know you’re not allowed in the lab, right?” Peter said, pushing at his hand. 

Loki huffed, knowing he was right, and letting go of him. Peter turned and punched the pin into the keypad on the lab door. It beeped - and  _Access Denied_  flashed up on the screen.

“Wha’..?” Peter frowned. 

He reentered the pin.  _Access Denied_. He stared at it, stabbing the pin in a third time.  _Access Denied_. 

“He’s locked me out! That bastard, he’s changed the pin!” Peter growled, and started to cry. “I hate him! Why would he do this?!”

“Maybe he thinks you’d make yourself another suit” Loki suggested. “Peter, you need to let it go”

“It’s not fair!”

“I know, sweetheart” Loki put an arm round his shoulders. “Shh, don’t cry, chick. There’s more to life than soldering irons and circuit boards”

“But that’s what I’m good at! This isn’t fair!”

“So you keep saying. Right, come on, I’m pulling rank” Loki lifted the boy into his arms. “We’re going back upstairs and you’re going to sit and watch telly like a good boy, ok?”

“No!”

“That wasn’t a suggestion”

-

Tony didn’t get back from work until eight o’ clock, two hours later than planned. He wasn’t too happy about it. He threw his stuff down and got himself a drink before going through to the living room. Peter was curled up on the sofa with his knees drawn up to his chest, his eyes on the telly.

“Evening, kiddo” Tony said, sitting down beside him. “What have you been up to today?”

“Why did you lock me out of the lab?” Peter grumbled. 

Tony sighed. “I just changed the pin”

“What’s the new one then?”

“You don’t need to know that”

“You  _have_ locked me out then!” Peter shouted, putting his legs down and sitting up straight. 

“Peter” Loki said firmly, from where he sat in the armchair with his book. 

“It’s not fair! First you take my suit, then you ground me, then you tell me I can forget about Spiderman, and  _now_ you won’t even let me in the lab! You’re ruining my life!”

“Peter, I’m trying to protect you”

“No, you’re not! I hate you! I wish you weren’t my dad!”

“That’s enough, Peter” Loki snapped, closing his book. “Apologise at once”

“No! I’m not the one who needs to apologise here!”

“Peter, you’re being ridiculous” Tony said. “It’s high time you learnt to do as you’re told. I’m in charge here; not you. While you live under my roof, you’ll live by my rules”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to live here anymore! I hate this house!” 

Peter stood up and stormed out of the room. 

-

Peter pulled on his shoes and coat and threw his old backpack on. He went downstairs, opened the front door, went to run - and smacked into nothing with such force that he fell backwards onto the floor. 

“FUCK! What the fuck?!”

He nursed his nose in his hands, and looked up at the open door. He stood up, put his hand out, and it hit nothing. He pressed against it hard. It felt weird, and when he pressed harder, it felt like static. He knew what this was, and he growled. He slammed the door and ran back up to the living room. 

“Dad!” he shouted at Loki. “How could you?!”

Loki sighed, exchanging a look with Tony. 

“Why have you got your coat and shoes on?” Tony asked. 

“Shut up! How could you put a seal on the house?”

“Tony asked me to” Loki said, turning a page of his book. “He knew you’d try to sneak out sooner or later”

“It’s not fair! Why do you have to treat me like a prisoner?!”

“I’ve had just about enough of this” Tony snapped. “Peter, come here”

“No! Why should I?”

Tony stood up, grabbed hold of Peter, and threw him over his shoulder.

“It’s bedtime”

-

Peter shrieked. He wriggled and struggled and shouted.

“You’re hurting me! You’re hurting me! Let me go!”

Tony was incredibly firm. He wasn’t in the mood for Peter’s nonsense. 

“The more you wriggle, the longer this will take” he said. 

He got Peter into his pyjamas, made him brush his teeth, and then grabbed a flannel and washed his face and hands, much to Peter’s dismay.

“What’s wrong with you?!” he whined, dabbing his face dry with the towel Tony handed him.

“Well, if you’re going to act like a stroppy little toddler, then I’m going to treat you like one”

Peter glared at him.

“I wouldn’t make that face if I were you: the wind’ll change and it’ll get stuck like that”

Peter rolled his eyes. 

“Bed”

Tony put an arm round him and guided him towards the bed. 

“Right, painkillers, and then sleep, ok?”

Peter obediently took his pills and then lay down and let Tony tuck him in, although he wasn’t very happy about it. Tony turned on his night light and knelt down by the bed.

“I love you, kiddo. I just want what’s best for you. You do know that, don’t you?”

“If you love me so much, why would you take everything I love away from me?”

“That isn’t what happened, chick. I know you’re hurting, but you need to look at this from my point of view too, and your father’s. I know being Spiderman was important to you, but there’s other things you’re good at, and other things you care about. Why can’t you settle down and be a normal kid?”

“But I’m not a normal kid”

“You can say that again” Tony sighed. “…We watched you fall unconscious in the ambulance. We watched your heart monitor flatline. We had to sit in some little room for what felt like years, having no idea if we’d ever see you alive again. I genuinely thought I’d lost you. We both did. I know you can’t really know, but please try to understand how that felt. I’ve never been so terrified in all my life. I can’t go through that again”

Peter looked at him. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to listen to the sob story again. He could hardly see Tony through his tears, and he wasn’t quite ready to start talking to him properly just yet. He turned onto his other side and buried his face in the quilt so he didn’t have to look at him. Tony sighed sadly. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart” 

He kissed him on the temple and stood up. He stopped in the doorway when he turned the light off. 

“I love you, you know”

Peter pulled the covers over his head. Tony closed his eyes for a moment, and then took one last look at the bed before closing the door behind him.

-

Loki looked up when Tony flopped down beside him. He took one look at his face, and he knew exactly what was going to happen.

“No. Tony, don’t you dare. Tony, please”

Tony did. He buried his face in his hands and his shoulders started to shake. 

“Oh darling”

Loki pulled him close and Tony clung to him and cried into his shoulder. He felt like the worst father in the world. 

-

Once Tony had managed to calm down, Loki got them both a hot drink and sat down in the big armchair with Tony on his lap.

“Don’t you dare feel guilty” Loki said. “You’re only trying to protect him, and sooner or later he’ll realise that”

“He’s never been this angry with me before” Tony said, gulping his tea even though it was uncomfortably hot to do so. “Not even when he found out about us and May”

“I’m not sure that’s really the same thing” Loki said. “He’ll manage. He’s still sore and weak and tired. Once he feels better physically, he’ll feel better in himself - and in turn, better about the situation. I wouldn’t dwell on it, my love. I know it’s hard not to take things personally, but we should try not to anyway”

“You’re so wise for someone whose hurting just as much as I am” Tony said, kissing him gently. “And you  _would_ dwell on it, I know you would. I’m certain you already are” 

“Regardless, we should at least try not to. He’ll get used to it sooner or later, whether he intends to or not”

“I’m trying my best. It just seems that everything I do makes things worse”

“He’s been volatile ever since we lost May, you know that. Some things just hit him harder than others… How was he when you took him to bed?”

Tony sighed, and shrugged. “He was stroppy at first, shouting and whining. And then he calmed down a little and stopped shouting, and then he was ok for a little bit until I tried to explain my actions again and he turned his back on me. But at least he spoke to me, so that’s progress, I suppose” 

“It certainly is. I had a word with him about it earlier. I think he’s starting to realise how serious the consequences of that accident have come to be. He’ll soon calm down and come to terms with it all”

“Yeah, I hope so… We can’t be doing  _too_ badly, in the grand scheme of things. I mean, we’ve kept him alive this long. He’s always got a roof over his head. And he’s always fed. Not that he always eats it. So, food, clothing, shelter. Love. Good school. That’s alright, isn’t it?”

“We’re doing fine” Loki said. “We’ve just got a little bugger to look after”

Tony laughed. “Well, no one said it was gonna be easy”

Loki gave him a squeeze. “We’ve just got to wait this one out. It’ll all be fine in the end”

“I hope so” Tony said, taking a gulp from Loki’s mug, having finished his own drink. “Lolly, I know you wouldn’t’ve done what I’ve done. So thanks. For being on my side”

“I understand why you did it. If it keeps our boy safe, I’ll support you in it”

Tony was quiet for a moment. “You’ve done CPR before… What’s it like?”

Loki knew what he was getting at. “It’s so different seeing it done to someone you love”

“It always looks so violent”

“Yes, but it’s better than doing nothing”

Tony rested his head against Loki’s shoulder. “What was going through your head that day? I’ve never seen you freeze like that before”

“I don’t really think anything  _was_ going through my head: I was just seeing. I know it sounds like something from a badly written novel, but he looked like he’d had a bucket of blood poured over him, didn’t he? I knew I’d frozen, but I couldn’t do anything about it”

Tony found his hand and held it tight. “It happens to the best of us”

Loki looked down at their clasped hands. “You and him mean literally everything to me”

“You and him mean everything to me, too” 

They looked at each other.

“How about me and you go and lay in bed and watch one of your weird kids DVDs?”

Loki laughed slightly. “If you like. Shall we see if Peter wants to join us?”

“He’s probably asleep by now, and I think we both know what his answer would be. No, let’s just keep it as the two of us”

“Ok. I think it might do us good to have a few hours zoning everything out” 

“Yeah, you’re right” Tony said, downing the rest of Loki’s drink. “Why don’t you head on up? I’ll shut down and check on the kid and then I’ll be right with you”

“Ok, ok. I’m glad I cleaned in there earlier. It was in a right state, you know”

“I know” Tony stood up, and Loki did too. “But I also know that it’ll be all nice for us now. Go on”

Loki wound his arms round Tony, resting his forehead against his. He closed his eyes, breathing in. 

“I love you”

“I love you too”

*


	4. Better Get It Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I'm offering a oneshot to whoever can guess the connection between the chapter titles

-

Tony put a box down on the breakfast bar in front of Peter.

“What’s this?” 

“Well, you kept making out you’ve got nothing to do, so here you go” Tony said. “Build Big Ben out of Lego”

Peter looked at the box. “This says sixteen plus”

“So? What, you think it’s too hard? I’ll take it back if you don’t want it”

“No!” Peter protested, clutching the box to his chest.

Tony smiled triumphantly. Peter looked down, and then up at his dad, and then off to the side.

“…Thank you”

“You’re welcome, kiddo” 

He hesitated, and then ruffled the boys hair. Peter didn’t wriggle or push his hand away. Tony breathed out in relief. 

“Get building. I’ll check on you later”

-

“Mr Stark?”

Loki looked up from his clipboard.

“Is that your phone?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, thank you” he took his phone out of his pocket. “Excuse me for a minute: it’s my husband”

He handed his clipboard to the nurse and stepped out into the corridor to answer his phone.

“Hello, my love” he said. “Is everything ok?”

“You’ll never guess what just happened”

Loki sighed silently. “Tony, if this is about your gravity resistant solar operated something-or-other..”

“It’s not, and that was Peter’s idea. No, it’s Peter, you see. So, he’s been saying he’s got nothing to do, right, so I thought, hey, what do kids like? So I bought him a Lego set, and-”

“Oh God, Tony, how much did  _that_ cost?! Those things are ridiculously priced”

“Calm down, it was about $230. But that’s not the point” Tony said. “He actually spoke to me! He was a little funny, but he said thank you, and I’ve just sneaked a peek at him and he’s actually working away, little mug of tea beside him, stereo on. Oh Loki, he’s so cute! Let’s get him more Lego”

Loki laughed. “Oh Tony, chick, you’re adorable. You’ve only just got him this set, and maybe buying his forgiveness - or acceptance - isn’t the right way to go about this”

“Yeah, I know, I know. He’s still being a little funny - I don’t think we’re there just yet. But it’s so nice seeing him playing with something a little less sciencey for once, yknow?”

“Tony, you’re literally a scientist, and he’s basically your protege”

“Yeah, but he’s a little kid. No, look, I was thinking - and it’s not about buying his forgiveness or spoiling him. No, you see, I was thinking, if we give him something else to occupy him, something to focus on, then maybe he’ll be able to accept me taking the suit a little easier”

Loki was quiet for a moment. “Ok, I think you could be right there, but don’t go getting anything else just yet”

“They’ve got some great stuff, you know. I’m thinking of getting the Roller Coaster or the Carousel next”

“Tony, hold off for now. He might have said thank you, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to talk to you yet. Sweetheart, go and get your work done, and see if you can get the sprog fed before I get back. Now, I’m going to have to love you and leave you: I’m needed”

“Alright, gorgeous, I’ll let you get on. Are you still due back at four?”

“Maybe a little bit later, closer to five. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back”

“Thanks love. Talk to you later. Love you”

“Love you too. Bye”

“Bu-Bye” 

-

Tony stayed quiet when he went into the kitchen. Peter was busy with his Lego, and barely glanced up. Tony set about doing what he was doing, and soon set a plate down on the breakfast bar beside Peter. Peter looked at the plate.

“Oh” he looked up. “Thank you” 

Peter put the Lego pieces he was holding down at a safe distance and pulled the plate closer. 

“Good lad” he said quietly, squeezing the boys shoulder. “I’ve just got to pop to the shop on the corner. Do you want anything?”

Peter thought for a moment. “Peanut butter KitKat chunky”

“Sure thing, hun. I’ll be back soon. Ten minutes tops. Do you need anything before I go?”

Peter shook his head. “I’m fine. Thank you, though”

Tony ruffled his hair and left the room to grab his coat. He sighed happily to himself. Maybe Peter was starting to come round.

-

Loki arrived home late afternoon, feeling pretty drained both emotionally and physically. He put his stuff down and went to get himself a drink. He made himself a mug of tea, and, deciding that the house was suspiciously quiet, went to track down his husband and son.

He found Peter and Tony on the futon in the back room. Tony was sat working on his laptop. Peter was leaning against him, legs up on the futon, reading a book. They both looked up when Loki came into the room.

“Dad!”

Loki couldn’t help but smile. “Hey, sweetheart”

Peter moved aside so Loki could sit down next to Tony, and then climbed onto his lap. Loki hugged him tight with one arm, holding his tea carefully so as not to spill it on the boy. Tony shut his laptop and put an arm round Loki.

“Evening gorgeous” Tony looked at the way he was holding Peter. “Rough day?”

“Mm” Loki mumbled, taking a mouthful of tea. “You remember that lady I told you about? The one with quintuplets?”

“The IVF one?” 

Loki nodded. “She went into labour today…”

“She wasn’t due yet, was she? How- how did it go?” he asked.

Loki held tighter to Peter. “Two stillborn. Another one died an hour after birth”

“Oh Loki” Tony rested his head against Loki’s. “It must have been dreadful”

“It wasn’t great…”

Peter looked up at him. Loki took another mouthful of tea, swallowed hard, and gave Peter a squeeze.

“Don’t look so worried, chick. I’m just being a sentimental old fool” 

“Have you ever thought about going any further with your training?”

“Ah” Loki passed his mug to Tony. “Well. I have thought about it. Lots. I very nearly started a paramedic course”

“What?! When was this?”

“A while ago” Loki said vaguely. “I went out as an observer with a crew for a few shifts. I had a great time. But when it came down to it, I decided it wasn’t practical”

“Why not? You’d be so good at it!”

“Maybe, but I don’t think my health would allow it. And besides, I’m busy enough with my volunteering without adding twelve hour minimum shifts to the rota. I’m happy with what I’m already doing. I like doing something I’m mostly in control of. Plus, I need to be here to look after you, don’t I?”

“I’m not a baby”

“Really? Could’ve fooled me” Loki shook his head. “No, as much as you might think otherwise, you need lots of looking after and keeping an eye on. Those broken ribs of yours are proof enough of that”

Peter frowned. “They’ll heal”

“I know, and then you’ll be back to your reckless old self” he ruffled Peter’s hair. “You’re a law unto yourself”

Peter sighed. “You worry too much. Anyway, there’s a seal on the house, and I’ve had my suit stolen from me, so how much recklessness do you really expect me to get up to?”

“Woah woah woah,  _stolen_?” Tony cut in. “It’s confiscated, not stolen”

“Usually when you confiscate things, I get them back”

“Usually is the key word there, kiddo” Tony said, shaking his head. “Hey, who gave your bottom lip permission to wobble? We’ve been through countless times already”

Peter whined and buried his face in Loki’s chest. “It’s not fair”

“It’s not raining either”

Peter just whined louder. Loki laughed, and shook his head.

“Right, I’m knackered, and I’m going to bed. So budge”

Peter did as he was told. Loki stood up and grabbed his mug from Tony, who frowned.

“What about tea?”

Loki checked his watch. “It’s not really tea time yet, is it? If you’re hungry, I’m not stopping you from cooking. I’ll eat later. Now, I just need to rest for a while. My head keeps going fuzzy”

“Oh Loll, you’re not heading for another flare-up, are you?”

“I hope not. We’ll see” he gave Tony a quick kiss. “See you in a bit”

“Ok, ok. Sleep well, Lolly”

Loki nodded, kissed Peter on the cheek, and wandered off. Peter looked at Tony. Tony felt himself being watched, and looked at Peter. He gave the boys nose a tweak.

“Maybe you need a nap too, grumpy-gills”

“I’m not a baby” Peter said.

He yawned, flopped down on the futon, shoved a cushion under his head, and soon fell asleep.

-

Loki found Tony in the lab the next morning.

“Who gave you the new code?” Tony asked.

“You’re incredibly predictable” Loki said, closing the door behind him.

“You know I don’t like you being in here”

Loki looked left and right. “I see no welding tools out”

Tony rolled his eyes. “What do you want?”

“I fancy a bit of retail therapy. I have a few things I need from the high street”

“I don’t need anything”

“I wasn’t offering” Loki said, raising an eyebrow. “No, I was wondering if I could take the sprog with me”

“Oh” Tony stopped what he was doing. “Are you sure he’s strong enough?”

“I think so. He’s still a bit sore, but he can take some painkillers if need be. Besides, it’s only shopping: it’s not like I’m taking him go-karting”

Tony thought for a moment. “Have you asked him if he wants to go?”

“Not yet. I thought I’d check with you first”

“If he wants to go, he can go. Fresh air would do him the world of good. Just keep him close. I don’t want him wandering off”

“I’ll keep a close eye on him, don’t you worry. He’s not getting hurt on my watch”

-

Loki knocked on Peter’s bedroom door and opened it. Peter was sprawled on the bed watching YouTube videos. He looked up when the door opened.

“Hi, dad”

“Hi. Do you want to come shopping with me?”

Peter looked at him skeptically. “What kind of shopping?”

“High street shopping. Are you coming or not?”

“Am I allowed?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if you weren’t”

Peter closed his laptop and sat up, wincing a little. “Ok. I just need a few minutes to get ready”

“Of course. I’m going to have a cup of tea. I trust you’ll be ready by the time I’ve finished”

“I’ll try. I’m not gonna rush too much. Ribs, yknow?”

“I know. How are your big cuts?”

“A bit sore”

“Take your painkillers. Have you eaten?”

“I had some cereal earlier”

“Good. Right, get ready. I’ll wait in the kitchen for you”

-

Peter had a quick wash, redid his teeth, took his painkillers, put on some proper clothes (going out in joggers and an oversized tshirt didn’t feel quite right), pulled his boots on, and joined Loki in the kitchen.

“Ok?” Loki said. “Do you need a drink or anything before we go?”

Peter shook his head. Loki shrugged.

“Suit yourself”

He downed his tea and stood up. He rinsed his mug, set it on the draining board, and zipped his coat up.

“Ready to go?”

Peter nodded. Loki grabbed his keys, checked he had his phone and wallet, and took Peter’s hand. 

“Let’s get going, then”

-

It felt good to get outside. It wasn’t the warmest of days, but there was something refreshing about that. Peter breathed in the cold air, closing his eyes for a moment. It felt so good. He was glad to be with Loki, who generally liked taking the long route when walking to the main high street, as it gave him more time to savour the walk.

“What do you need from town?”

“Oh, nothing much” Loki said. “Socks and shoes, mainly”

“Really?” Peter said doubtfully, thinking about Loki’s vast collection of both items. 

“Well, let’s call it useful retail therapy”

“What’s that meant to mean?”

“It means I’m getting useful things, but not necessarily stuff I’m in desperate need of” Loki said. “Well, I do need a couple of things. Toothbrushes. A few bath and shower bits”

Peter looked at him. “Ok, I get the toothbrushes, but you’ve got loads of bath stuff”

“I don’t have any bubble bath left. Or anything other than the essentials”

“Oh what, so you want Lush bath bombs or something like that?”

“Perhaps. Definitely bubble bath though, and potentially some bath salts. Oh, I might get some more of that Dirty Springwash shower gel if we’re going to Lush”

“Ooh, that’s the minty one, right?” 

“That’s right. I liked that one. How are you doing for bath stuff?”

Peter shrugged. “Hey, can you slow down a bit? It’s hard to keep up with you, and it’s kinda painful too, jogging”

“Sorry” Loki said, slowing down. He frowned at the way Peter was clutching his ribs. “Maybe we ought to get you some muscle soak or something”

“I don’t think it’s my muscles that are the problem”

“It wouldn’t hurt to relax a bit, though. I know you’re still hurting quite a lot. Your father’s noticed too”

“He’s still overreacting about everything” Peter pouted. “He’s  _still_ insisting I can’t have the suit back. We had another argument about it last night”

Loki sighed heavily. “Maybe you need to take a step back. You nearly died, remember? At least  _try_ to act like you understand our feelings”

“I do understand! What I  _don’t_ understand is why he’s taking away my free will. I know my rights. You’re a medical man - kinda. You know that, if they’re of sound mind, people have a right to make their own decisions - even if you don’t personally think they’re wise” 

“Don’t you start quoting medical ethics at me, young man” Loki said. 

“But it’s a good point!”

“Do you want to know what else is a good point? You’re fifteen, so as your parents, in a hospital or otherwise medical environment, we’re allowed to make decisions about your healthcare on your behalf”

Peter blinked. “But this isn’t a medical environment”

“I know that. But to reiterate, we’re your parents, and as such we have some - shall we say, control - over you. A hierarchy, I suppose. If your dad thinks disallowing the suit is the best way to keep you safe, he’s within his rights to do that. Even if you’re not happy about it”

Peter went into a huff, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Now now, don’t you go getting all moody on me, chick” Loki said. “Why don’t you try to forget about it, just for a few hours? Act like the kid you are and just drive me mad by can-I-’avin’ in every shop”

“You might just regret saying that”

Loki grinned at him. “I’m sure I will”

-

Peter soon cheered up. His painkillers kicked in, and his mind turned to the task in hand, and he managed to forget about the arguments and the loss of the suit hanging over his head. Loki was great to shop with. Most of the time, if he was shopping with Loki, it was for household stuff. It wasn’t often he got to do high street shopping with him - and it was lots of fun. They spent hours looking in all the shops that appealed to them, be it clothing shops, shoe shops, chocolatiers, or otherwise. For once, Loki wasn’t shy with his debit card, potentially because he was still feeling very sorry for and protective of Peter after the accident. Peter wasn’t usually one to scrab, but he didn’t protest quite so much if Loki offered to buy things for him this time round. He worried for a moment about what Tony might say, but Tony was generally worse than Loki for buying him elaborate presents, so he probably wouldn’t say anything much at all. 

-

Peter started to get tired. They’d been out for a while now. Loki was slowing down a bit too, which could have been down to the fact he’d insisted on carrying all the bags so Peter couldn’t strain himself. He kept telling Peter to stay close, which Peter found odd, but wrote off as him just being overprotective. 

Loki stopped to look in the window of a jewellers and watch shop. It was one of Loki’s favourites. Peter got bored after about thirty seconds, but he could tell Loki was going to be a while. Checking that he’d been forgotten about momentarily, Peter carefully slipped away and went for a wander. There was a good shop nearby that did coffee and bagels, and he rather fancied both of those things now. His bowl of cereal that morning felt like days ago. He was on auto-pilot, not really paying attention to anything around him. He stopped and pressed the button at the crossing, and was suddenly brought back to reality with a start.

“Peter?”

Peter froze for a moment, and spun round on his heel. He felt his blood run cold when he saw the owner of the voice, who stood looking at him in what seemed to be a mix of surprise and confusion. Peter stared at them for a moment, barely believing they were really there.

“Liz…”

*


	5. When You Go Don't Tell Us Where

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fic: "Say It’s More Than Spiritual, Physical" and the events wherein become of relevance in this chapter, so I'd kinda recommend reading that one first, as it fills a gap. It's only a mini-fic, so it's not gonna take up your whole evening ^_^

-

For a moment, Peter just stared. He glanced at the crossing. He could run, disappear into the crowd… But he didn’t. Liz was right in front of him now.

“Wh-what are you doing here? You moved away”

“We’re back for a while, visiting” Liz said, looking at him. “You look so different. Have you been ill?”

“Kinda. I had an accident, a couple of weeks ago. I’m still kinda healing from that” 

Peter found it hard to look her in the eye. It was so weird seeing her again after all this time.

“How have you been? I heard about what happened to your building. I’m sorry about your aunt” 

Peter’s heard started to thump, and he swallowed hard. “Thank you…”

“I saw in the news about you being adopted too. I never knew you were that close to the Stark’s”

“Um. Well, we weren’t when me and you knew each other. I mean, I didn’t even know Loki back then. Um… Uh, well, you see, we kinda got closer after… After you moved away. We were real close, yknow, me and them and my aunt. I stayed with them loads. They were basically family, and then when the accident happened… Well, they took me in. There was never any question about it”

“It explains the clothes and the news stories… You look good” 

“Thanks..”

“Are you still at Midtown?”

Peter shook his head. “I go to St Hendricks. It’s- it’s one of the fee paying schools”

“Oh, I see. Hey, Peter? I know we didn’t part on great terms, but can I have your number? It would be good to catch up with you properly. I’m gonna be around for a while, so”

“Oh. Um…”

“Peter!”

Peter’s head jerked, and he saw Loki stood a few feet away. 

“I-I’d better go. I kinda wandered off”

“Ok, I get it. Can I-”

“I’m sorry, I really gotta run. Dad can be kinda strict”

“Peter..”

“I’m sorry”

Peter ducked his head and ran over to Loki.

“I told you to stay close” Loki said. “Who’s the girl? Friend of yours?”

Peter didn’t respond. Loki put an arm round him and walked him on. Peter looked back over his shoulder, but Liz had already disappeared into the crowd. 

-

Peter didn’t feel great. He felt all funny inside, and he was tired and a little giddy. He felt weak, and walking felt like much more of an effort now. Once they were about halfway down the high street, Loki noticed something was up. He gave Peter a little squeeze and hailed a cab.

-

“Oh dear” Tony said, walking into the living room to find Loki tucking Peter up on the sofa. “It doesn’t look as though he  _wasn’t_ strong enough after all”

“He was fine until about half an hour ago” Loki said. “I think he just needs to eat and sleep, and then he’ll be fine”

Tony sighed, stroking Peter’s hair gently. “You’re white as a sheet, son. You look like you’ve seen a ghost”

Peter didn’t say anything.

“Lolly, sweetheart, I’ll sit with him if you wanna sort him something to eat”

Loki nodded and stood up. “I won’t be long”

Tony moved and sat down on the edge of the sofa. He fingered the blanket Peter was wrapped in.

“This is nice. Disney shop?”

Peter nodded.

“I saw all those bags in the hallway. Looks like you’ve been getting spoilt today”

Peter shrugged.

Tony sighed. “Alright, sweetheart. You seem exhausted. You’ll feel better once you’ve had something to eat and taken a little nap”

Peter nodded slightly. He hoped he was right.

-

Peter wasn’t very hungry at all, but he cleared his plate even so. He was feeling quite hollow inside. He was left on his own once he’d eaten, which was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, he didn’t have to talk to anyone, but on the other hand, he was alone with his thoughts. 

He could barely believe he’d just seen Liz again after all this time. The last time they’d spoken, it was just before she’d moved, and she hadn’t really wanted to speak to him. It was weird, not least because he couldn’t shake the fact that it was his fault her dad was in prison - not that she knew that, of course. Truth be told, he never thought he’d see her again. He wasn’t even sure they’d really ever even been friends. Acquaintances, yes. Friendly acquaintances, most likely. But he’d always been too nervous to really get to know her properly. He hadn’t exactly been in her league at Midtown. After everything that had happened, he wasn’t really sure any of that mattered anymore. There was a time when he thought of Liz often, but she’d been off his radar for so long that she barely crossed his mind - and for a hell of a long time, he hadn’t thought of her at all.

He got the shock of his life when he saw her on the street. He certainly hadn’t expected it. He was surprised he’d even managed to speak. She wanted to catch up. She was going to be around for a while. He wasn’t sure how long ‘a while’ was. He was almost grateful that he was grounded, because that way, he couldn’t bump into her again, accidentally or otherwise.

-

Eventually, unable to sleep, Peter hauled himself up from the sofa and wandered out to the kitchen. Luckily, it was empty. He helped himself to a glass of Loki’s rose lemonade and stood looking at the calendar. There were a disturbing amount of social events pencilled in. He hoped he wouldn’t have to go. He hated all of those parties. He much preferred the alternative, which was sat on the sofa with Thor, eating pizza and watching telly. Hopefully his broken ribs and the big gashes on his front would be enough to get him out of going. Sure, the cuts didn’t really hurt anymore, and his ribs weren’t hurting quite so much - but his parents didn’t need to know that.

-

Peter wasn’t hungry that evening when they sat down to dinner. Loki went over to the fridge to get himself a drink.

“Peter, have you been at my lemonade?”

“Um…”

“How any times have I told you not to touch what doesn’t belong to you?” Loki scowled, shutting the fridge door.

He returned to the table, setting his glass of lemonade down and handing Tony a beer.

“I’d love a drink, thanks dad” Peter said, rolling his eyes.

Loki narrowed his eyes at him, filling the boys glass from the water jug on the table. Tony laughed at the look on his face.

“Don’t look so offended, Peter” he said. “You don’t drink anyway near enough water anyway. Now stop sulking and eat your dinner”

Peter spent a while stabbing at his food with his fork and pushing it round the plate without actually eating anything. During a gap in conversation, Tony noticed.

“Peter, stop playing with your food. Eat, please”

“I’m not hungry” Peter mumbled.

“Just eat what you can. You need the strength”

“Why?”

“You just do. Now stop arguing and eat your dinner” Tony said firmly.

“I’m not hungry!”

Loki sighed irritably. “Do as you’re told! I’ve had just about enough of your attitude”

“What are you talking about?! Just today we were messing about in shops and stuff and you were fine. Just cos I’m not hungry, that doesn’t mean I’ve got an attitude”

“I’m not in the mood for an argument. Just do as you’re told” 

Peter folded his arms over his chest. “No”

“Right, I’m not putting up with this” Tony snapped. “Peter, go to your room”

“With pleasure”

Peter got up and left the room. Tony sighed, picking his fork up again. 

“That boy can be such a teenager at times”

“And you said teens were better than babies”

-

As expected, Tony came to talk to Peter later on that evening. 

“I won’t have you answering back to us like that”

“Oh what, so I can’t answer back? But if I don’t say anything, you’ll just say I’m ignoring you. I can’t win!”

“See, this is exactly what I’m talking about! I thought I ran a household based on mutual trust and respect. You need to take the attitude down a peg. What’s gotten into you?”

“I’m tired, I’m sore, and I’m upset. Can’t you just leave me alone?”

“What are you upset about, Peter?”

“Everything! You’ve grounded me, taken my suit away, locked me out of the lab. Do you know how boring it is sat about with nothing to do all day?”

“I bought you that Lego set” Tony pointed out.

“Yeah, and what do I do when I’ve finished that? I’m bored! I just want to be able to do the things I’ve always done”

“You’re not getting the suit back, you know that” Tony said. “Plus, you’re too weak to be doing anything much right now anyway. Can’t you content yourself with videos or something until you’re ok again?”

“I’m  _fine_! Why do I have to stay inside all the time? Can’t I go out to the library or to see my friends or something? Anything! I’m so  _bored_ , stuck in here all the time”

“You’re too weak. You can’t be trusted to keep yourself safe right now either. Come on now; you need to simmer down. It’s starting to get late. Time to have a bath and go to sleep”

“But what about what I’ve said?”

“We’ll continue this conversation another time. Now do as you’re told”

-

Tony was out at work the next day, so Peter spent a considerable portion of the morning trying to hack the keypad on the lab door, most unsuccessfully. He was forced to give up when Loki caught him at it. After that, he spent the rest of the morning moving all of the pictures and ornaments in the living room around to annoy Loki. He had to stop that when Loki called him into the kitchen and shoved a plate of egg and chips under his nose. After lunch, he infiltrated the reading nook and stayed there for the entire afternoon.

-

Tony gave Peter’s nose a tweak.

“I need to talk to you”

He didn’t look angry, which was a little confusing for Peter. He lowered his book and looked up at Tony.

“Have you been behaving yourself today?”

“Of course not”

Tony laughed. “Anyway, I wanted to say, about Friday night”

“Oh?”

“You’re coming with us to that party”

“What?!” Peter exclaimed, scrambling into an upright position. “Why?!”

“Because I said so. I don’t want you here on your own when you’re still so fragile”

“Ok, firstly, bit presumptuous. Secondly, why can’t uncle Thor look after me?”

“Peter, no arguing, please”

The door opened, and Loki came in, pushing his sleeves up.

“I’ve just spent the last half an hour or so putting all of our pictures and statues back in the right places. So that’s half an hour of my life I won’t get back” Loki said. “I should be putting you over my knee purely for wasting my time”

Peter rolled his eyes at him. “Well, I haven’t got anything else to do. I was just entertaining myself, like you told me too”

“No need to get cheeky. Anyway, I need to go out and buy some milk. Do you want to come with me?”

“We had a full bottle this morning” Tony said.

“I dropped it” Loki said. “Barely saved a glass. Ended up having to do the kitchen floor a second time because of it. Peter? Coming?”

Peter nodded and stood up. “I’ll get my shoes”

-

While Peter was in his room, he picked up his phone and texted Malaki.

‘ _Are you free tomorrow? Can we meet up? Around 10.30?_ ’

Malaki very soon texted back.

‘ _Of course! See you in the grounds of that country house down the road from school? xx_ ’

‘ _I’ll meet you by the lion statue. See you tomorrow x_ ’

‘ _Can’t wait! xxx_ ’

Peter grinned and hugged his phone to his chest. He’d get out of here tomorrow, no matter what.

-

Peter had one of those very nice family evenings, heavily aided by the nice early evening walk down to the corner shop with Loki. He went to bed early, and woke up early. Tony was working from home, and was already down in the lab, meaning he was very much out of the way. Peter was up and dressed and ready. He had a hoodie with big pockets on so he could hide a small whiteboard on him, and fit his phone and wallet in his other pockets. Loki was going to the hospital today, so Peter hung around him, acting cute and chatty and joking around with him. Loki laughed and humoured the boy, and quite enjoyed his company while he was getting ready. 

Peter knew there was a loophole to the seal. He could get through the barrier if he was holding onto Tony or Loki. Tony was, of course, working from home, so he was a no-go. Loki was going out though, and Peter had a plan that meant he could bypass the barrier, wait for Loki to leave, and then slip away to see Malaki.

-

Loki gave Peter’s hand a squeeze as they walked downstairs.

“Have you been in my cabinet, little boy?” he smiled. “You’re all giddy and silly today”

“Do you really have to go? Can’t you stay home?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart: I’m committed. I’ll be back this evening. We can spend some time together then” Loki said. 

Peter pouted for a moment, and then smiled as they reached the bottom of the stairs. 

“I’ll wave you goodbye! Like they do in the books!”

Loki laughed. “You’re a funny kid, you know that?”

“I know”

Loki opened the front door, and Peter, still holding his hand, bounced out onto the front step, pulling the door to. Loki gave him a funny look.

“Now now, chick, you need to get back inside. Rest”

“I will, I will. I’ve gotta wave goodbye first, haven’t I?”

Loki smiled, glancing over his shoulder as a car drew up. 

“That’s my lift. I’d really better be off, sweetheart” 

“Hug first!” Peter grinned.

Loki gave him a big hug, kissing his cheek. “I love you”

“Love you too, daddy” 

Loki kissed his other cheek and straightened up. “I can’t leave the cabbie waiting. Go on, in”

“Still gotta wave you off”

Loki kissed his nose, gave him a final squeeze, went down the front steps and climbed into the cab. Peter stayed on the top step, one hand on the front door handle, and waved as the cab drove off. 

-

As soon as the cab was out of sight, Peter let his smile drop, and he pulled the front door shut properly. Truth be told, he was surprised his plan had worked. He had his suspicions that Loki might have an inkling of what he was up to, but that was a problem for this evenings Peter. 

Peter double checked his pockets, zipped up his hoodie, and hopped down the steps. He grinned to himself as he trotted down the street. It felt so good to be out on his own.

-

Malaki gave Peter a hug when he saw him. 

“I’m glad you’re doing ok! I was so worried when you told me you’d had an accident. I can tell you’re still a bit sore”

Peter shrugged, and nodded. 

“Are you sure you’re warm enough? Well, never mind. You can always borrow my jacket if you need to” he said. “So. Shall we?”

Peter smiled and took the offered hand. He sighed happily, glad he’d slipped out, and quite proud of himself too.

-

Liz stopped, and her friend did too.

“Liz?”

“That’s Peter Parker, isn’t it?”

The friend saw where Liz was looking. There was a bench over the other side of the courtyard, up against the wall of the house. Peter and a boy Liz didn’t recognise were sat together. Close together. They didn’t notice anyone else was there. The friend sighed.

“Yeah, so? No one really knows him anymore at Midtown. Ever since that gas main burst, the only thing we know is he’s a Stark now. A change of status doesn’t stop him being a loser”

“Don’t say that! He was sweet”

“Didn’t he ditch you at the dance?” the friend glanced back over at the bench. “Oh. I think we know why he did that, now”

Liz looked at her quizzically, and then looked back over at the bench. Peter was still there - but was now lip locked with the other boy. It was the last thing Liz expected to see, and she couldn’t help staring - just for a moment. Even at the distance she could see how the boy was holding him. There was no hiding what that sort of kiss meant.

“Hey, Liz, let’s go and get something to eat. I’m starving here”

Liz tore her eyes away and looked at her friend. She nodded. As they turned and started walking back in the direction they came, Liz looked at her friend.

“I don’t suppose you know how I can get in touch with him?”

“What? Liz, I think you’re wasting your time. He’s a private school kid now” she said, shaking her head. “That fat boy he was friends with probably has a number for him. Try him”

Liz nodded. “I will”

She looked back over her shoulder. The bench was far behind them now, long out of sight, but she could still clearly see Peter and that boy, in her minds eye.

*


	6. The Man You Never Saw

-

Malaki moved from Peter’s lips and kissed him on the apple of his cheek before moving back slightly.

“I know there’s about a million and one reason why we couldn’t or shouldn’t” he started, rubbing Peter’s thigh. “But I was thinking... My parents are at work, and even if they weren’t, my room is upstairs, and I’ve got a second bedroom in the annex. Maybe we could go back to mine for a bit? Spend some time together?”

Peter looked at him. He swallowed hard and pushed Malaki’s hand off his thigh.

“Too forward?”

Peter nodded. 

“Wanna rewind a few seconds and act like I never asked?”

Peter paused, and then nodded. Malaki cleared his throat, put his hand back where it had been, and acted like he’d just finished kissing him.

“Are you hungry? For something other than me, I mean”

Peter laughed, and then shrugged.

“Should we go and get something? I don’t mind what. I kinda really fancy ice cream. Is that weird?”

Peter shook his head and smiled. Malaki stood up, holding a hand out to Peter.

“Come on then, beautiful. I think I know a place you’ll like”

-

Peter felt all giddy and fuzzy as he walked home. Malaki was always such good company, and even more so now, given the current circumstances. Peter slipped into the house carefully, going so far undetected. He snuck up to his room, quickly changing back into the pair of joggers and old t-shirt he’d worn for bed the night before. He was glad he did, because he suddenly heard footsteps. He wasted no time, diving into bed and pulling the covers up to his chin, pretending to be asleep.

The bedroom door opened, and mere moment later, he felt Tony shaking his shoulder. Peter whined and opened his eyes slowly.

“Still in bed, chick? You know it’s like, two in the afternoon”

“Really? Oh..”

“Don’t worry; you needed the rest anyway. Plus, it’s partly my fault. I got really caught up with stuff down in the lab”

“I guessed as much” Peter said, looking at his oil-stained clothes and the workman’s gloves tucked in his belt. 

“Yeah. I just caught sight of the time and thought I’d better check on you. Are you gonna sleep a bit more, or do you want to get up now?” 

“I think I’ll get up” Peter said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I think I’m gonna have a bath”

“Ok, chick” 

Tony went to give him a hug, but Peter jerked away from him before he got the chance.

“Don’t!”

Tony pulled back.

“Peter? Are you ok?”

“Mmm. I’m just real sore today. It’ll hurt if you start squeezing me”

“Oh. Oh sweetheart, ok. You need to take your pills if you’re still in pain. You shouldn’t suffer needlessly. Hey” he took Peter hand and kissed the back of it. “Don’t look so sad. You take your pills and have a nice bath and have something to eat, and you’ll feel much better”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, I hope so”

Tony gave his hand a squeeze and let go. He stopped when he reached the door.

“Hey, Peter? Why don’t you come down to the lab after you’ve had your bath? The new code is 227711” 

-

Peter spent quite a long time in the bath, thinking about how he’d gotten away with sneaking out, thinking about Malaki, thinking about the new code. If he was being given access to the lab again, surely he’d eventually get the suit back? He supposed the only thing he could really do would be to just wait and see.

-

It felt weird and foreign going into the lab again. Tony gave him a little wave.

“Hey kiddo. Hey, can you come and hold this into place for me? I’ve broken the vice and I can’t find the spare”

“How do you break a vice?”

“The same way your father managed to set fire to the kettle”

-

Peter didn’t want to leave the lab. He tried not to make a fuss, but he found himself stopping in the doorway and biting his thumb. Tony gave him a little push over the threshold and pulled the door closed.

“Don’t look so worried: I’m not going to change the code”

“Promise?” 

“Promise. Come on now, your father’ll be back by now. Now cross your fingers that he’s had a good day”

-

Loki was definitely in a good mood, and after ruffling Peter’s hair, he’d grabbed Tony for a kiss, and the two of them had very soon fallen down onto the sofa together. Peter didn’t fancy hanging about watching them showcasing their love, so he tactfully slipped away and went to look through the kitchen cupboards and decide what they might be able to have for tea.

-

Loki came into the kitchen for two reasons: firstly, to get himself a drink, and secondly, to investigate the cause of the crashing sounds.

“What are you up to there, love?” Loki asked, switching the kettle on and getting his mug down from his cupboard.

“Cooking” Peter said. 

“I see. And what are you cooking?”

“You’ll find out when it’s ready” 

Loki laughed. He let the kettle boil, poured the water, and left his tea to brew. He went to stand behind Peter, and lowered his head to the boys level.

“I know you didn’t go back inside after I left this morning” he said quietly. 

Peter froze momentarily. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

Loki smacked him hard on the bottom.

“Ow!”

“There’s no use lying to me, kiddo. You can’t pull the wool over my eyes that easily. Does Tony know?”

Peter shook his head and looked at him over his shoulder. “Are you gonna tell him?” 

“No. But I can’t cover for you all the time. You really shouldn’t’ve snuck out like that”

“But I’m sick of being stuck inside all the time!” Peter started, and then he saw the look on Loki’s face, and wilted. “What are you gonna do to me?”

“How about I just do this?” he smacked him again, harder this time. “And we draw a line under it. Keep it between us?”

Peter very nearly went into a sulk, but he realised how valuable Loki’s offer was, so he sighed and nodded. Loki went to finish making his drink, and Peter resumed what he was doing. 

“Oh, and Peter?” Loki said, stopping in the doorway. “Don’t leave the pan handles pointing out like that. You’ll knock them off in passing”

Peter looked at him, and then back at his pans. He moved them so the handles were over the counter. Loki nodded.

“Good boy”

-

Tony covered his face with his hands when Loki told him Peter was cooking.

“Oh god, what did I do to deserve this?! I can’t cope with another repeat of that chilli flake disaster”

Loki laughed at him. “You’re overreacting, my dear”

Tony moved his hands. “Am I? Did he tell you what he was making?”

“No” Loki said, sitting beside him. “He had a recipe book out, but he shut it when I came over”

Tony sighed. “Well, saves me a job, I suppose”

Loki leant against him, sipping his tea. “Whatever he makes, at least it can’t be anywhere near as bad as anything you made when we first got together”

“Ah, I think you’re right there” Tony admitted. “Remember that panna cotta?”

“I’m afraid so” Loki shook his head. “I also remember burnt pasta and hard tofu, and I still have no idea how you managed that”

“Shoutout to Pepper, eh?”

Loki nodded, raising his mug in a cheers gesture. “Shoutout to Pepper, indeed”

-

Loki fell asleep for a little bit, and had to be woken up when dinner was ready. He didn’t feel 100%, but he was happy to step up to the plate for Peter’s sake.

“So, how much chilli did you use today?” Tony asked when they sat down in the kitchen. “Do we need to get the doctor on standby?”

Loki kicked him under the table. “Leave the poor kid alone: you’re upsetting him” 

“No I’m not! Am I, Pete?”

“..You are a little bit”

Tony sighed. 

“Well you don’t have to eat if you don’t want to!” 

“Hey hey, no need to get shouty”

Before either one of them could escalate it, Loki stood up and put an arm round Peter’s shoulders.

“What have you made for us tonight, sweetie?”

Peter didn’t want to speak again in case he started crying, so he went and got the recipe book and showed him. 

“Well, there’s nothing offensive about that. Is there, Tony?”

Tony had a look at the page. Cheesy chicken and broccoli whole wheat pasta.

“Why whole wheat?”

“Because that’s what the recipe says, you dunce” Loki said, snapping the book shut and hitting Tony over the head with it. “Anyway, I’m starving to death, so can we stop arguing and just eat, my darling husband?”

“Yeah yeah, ok, ok”

“Thank you. I need a drink”

“I-um, I’ve already got you one...” Peter said.

Loki looked at the table. “So you have”

-

Towards the end of the meal, Tony stopped and looked at Peter.

“Have you left something in the oven, kiddo?”

“I’m timing it..”

“Oh right. What is it?”

“It’s nothing, really...” Peter swallowed. “I just felt like making a cake...”

“What  _kind_ of cake?”

Loki kicked him hard under the table.

“Ow! Loki! What was that for?!”

“My foot slipped”

“Like hell it did!”

They stared each other down, but then the front door opened, distracting them. Loki got up to go and greet Thor, while Tony stayed at the table. He sighed heavily, and then noticed Peter looking at him.

“This is good, chick. You should make it again some time”

-

Something about Thor’s presence just lit up the house. Luckily, Peter’s cake was a success, and once they’d all had some, Loki made everyone a drink, and they went out to the living room. Peter cuddled up beside Thor, who put an arm round him.

“I heard about your accident” he said. “You’re a right little bruiser”

“Don’t encourage him” Loki said, leaning against Tony and opening his book.

Thor just laughed. He gave Peter a squeeze.

“Sorry I didn’t get to see you sooner. I was away”

“In space?”

Thor nodded. “Still, I’m back now. I haven’t seen you properly for ages. We should go and do something together. How about tomorrow night?”

“No can do” Tony said. “We’ve got something planned”

“Aww, I don’t want to go to that dumb party anyway” Peter pouted.

“That’s just tough” Tony said. “You’re going”

Peter rolled his eyes. “It’s such a waste of time”

“Better do as your parents say, kiddo” Thor said. “We’ll do something another time”

-

Peter played up to the sympathy vote as much as possible the next evening, whining and clutching his ribs and looking at his parents with big sad eyes.

“Now you stop that” Tony said. “You’re not getting out of this so easily”

“I nearly died! I’m not strong enough for this”

“Stop play-acting and go and get changed. Your clothes are on the bed”

Peter whined, but he knew when he was beat. He went off to his room, wrinkling his nose at the clothes that had been set out for him. He hated having to dress up all posh and tell people over and over again that he goes to St Hendricks and he’s on the swim team, and no, Mr Stark isn’t his biological dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s not his real dad. It was all so tedious.

-

Peter glared at his shiny black brogues as he sat in the back of the car. He was annoyed, because these shoes always reminded him of Roddy St. James of Kensington, and now he had the song stuck in his head. He wanted to be at home. He looked at Loki and Tony. Loki hated these parties too, unless he could spend them getting drunk with Pepper. Tony seemed to enjoy  _some_ of them. Peter sighed heavily and slumped in his seat.

“Sit up straight, Peter: you’ll wrinkle your shirt”

Peter whined but did as he was told. “Why am I even going? I hate this things”

“Don’t be so melodramatic” Tony said. “There’ll be some people your own age for you to hang out with”

“No there won’t. There never is, and even when there  _is_ , it’s all toffee nosed twats from the same school who just stick in a little group talking about what  _fwightfully good fun_ they’re having”

Loki laughed, but Tony tutted at him.

“Now now, don’t be so rude. I don’t like you swearing like that. I want you on your best behaviour tonight”

“What do you mean?” Peter said, trying to think if he’d done anything naughty at any other party he’d been to.

“I mean, I want you to act like a little gent. Be polite, don’t go running about causing mischief or breaking things or spilling stuff-”

“When do I ever do any of those things?”

“And certainly no interrupting or talking back, young man” Tony said. “Look, this place is basically a palace, and they’re pretty proud of it. I don’t want to have to be apologising for your behaviour”

“Oh Tony, leave him alone” Loki said. “He’ll be fine. He’ll probably just sit in a corner with me and die of boredom”

“Good idea, you keep him with you all night. I won’t have another hospital trip, thank you very much”

Peter rolled his eyes - and then stared as the house came into sight. It really was a palace, like something out of an old Victorian film. He suddenly understood what Tony meant. 

-

Peter looked up at the grand building, at it’s wide steps and turrets and stone statues. It was really something. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad: he could just wander off and explore the architecture.

“Oh my god, Peter!”

Peter looked round, and very nearly tripped over his highly polished feet. His eyes widened. His heart started to thump, and he felt sick. He couldn’t speak. Loki put a hand on the small of his back.

“It helps if you walk, Peter” he hissed, pushing him along. 

Peter looked up at Loki, stumbling as they went inside. He knew he should have fought harder to stay home.

-

Peter flinched as Tony clicked his fingers in front of his face.

“Earth to Peter. Come on kiddo; say hello now”

Peter looked at Tony, and then up at the host. He was a big man, tall and broad, and old, with a heavy white moustache and stern-looking eyes. He looked every bit as Victorian as his house. Unintentionally, Peter made eye contact - and promptly buried his face in Loki’s side. Fortunately, Tony and the host just laughed.

“Now now, no need to be so shy” he laughed. “He certainly didn’t inherit your confidence, did he, Tony?”

Peter shifted slightly, watching the grown ups talking. The host soon looked back at him.

“So where do you go to school, Peter?”

Peter didn’t say anything. Tony sighed, but Loki gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“He goes to St Hendricks” Tony answered for him. “He’s a smart kid, good grades all round, part of the swim team, all that stuff”

“So you’re sporty, are you?”

Peter kept quiet. 

“Shy little thing, aren’t you?” 

He stopped a nearby server, taking two champagne glasses and handing them to Tony and Loki. He picked up another one and went to give it to Peter, but Tony stopped him.

“Not for him, please: he’s just a baby” he said. 

The Host nodded and kept that glass for himself. 

“Of course, of course. Mustn’t corrupt the youth” he laughed to himself, stopped another server, and passed a glass to Peter. “There you go, sonny”

Peter didn’t want a drink, but he took the glass anyway. He had no idea what it was. He stayed close against Loki until mercifully the host went off, and Tony was collared by someone else. 

“Thank fuck for that” Loki mumbled. “What’s the matter with you? Tired?”

Peter shrugged, taking a swig of the unidentified substance in his glass, and promptly choking, dribbling a good half of his mouthful down his chin.

“Oh for the love of-” Loki sighed heavily, thumping him on the back and whipping out a handkerchief. “What are you like, eh?”

Peter wriggled away from him, not appreciating being babied in public. Loki held him still and mopped him up anyway. Once he’d done, Peter shoved his glass at Loki. Loki sighed, and took a sip obligingly. 

“Oh, that’s disgusting” he said, wrinkling his nose. “No wonder you choked”

He put the glass on the tray of a passing server and had some of his own drink to wash the taste away. 

“What are you looking at?” he said, waving a hand in front of Peter’s face. “You’re all zoned out”

Peter didn’t say anything, and then squeaked when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun round quickly.

“Hi again”

Peter looked back over his shoulder, only to find that Loki had already disappeared.

“Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Well, what are you doing here?”

“Um. My parents made me come” Peter said, swallowing hard. 

“I would have texted if I’d known you were going to be here” Liz said. “I got your number from Ned. I’m not sure if it’s the right one or not”

Peter just looked at her. 

“I don’t really know anyone else here, and my mum is with her friends” Liz said. “Do you want to hang out together?”

‘No’, Peter wanted to say. He wanted to shake his head and go and find Loki and hide under his arm until it was time to go home. But he knew how that would look, and he didn’t want to be nasty.

“C-can we go outside? It’s getting real hot in here”

-

The big white marble steps at the front entrance seemed an obvious choice as somewhere to sit, but Peter feared any late arrivals would pop up and disturb them. He didn’t really want to see anyone else. He didn’t look at Liz while they walked outside, but he couldn’t ignore the sound of her heels clacking on the stone. At the edge of the staircase was a stone banister, and as he peered over the side he saw it dropped down quite a way, onto a relatively concealed grass bank, and a little further on, there was an outdoor swimming pool. It definitely wasn’t in view from the windows of the room being used for the social, so he thought it was a safe place to hide out for a while. If this conversation with Liz was going to happen, he wanted it to be done in total privacy. 

“We should go down here” he said, and vaulted the banister. 

Liz wasn’t quite so adept, especially not in her dress and heels, so it took her a little longer. Peter offered a hand to help her down the other side, but quickly retracted it when she was steady on her feet again. They sat down on the grass, and stayed silent for a moment or two.

“I know you and Ned don’t talk anymore” Liz said. “I know you didn’t keep in touch with anyone else from Midtown. If the Stark’s weren’t famous, no one would even know where you’d ended up”

“Midtown doesn’t matter anymore. It hasn’t mattered for a long time. It barely even mattered even when it  _was_ my school”

“It’s just so strange thinking you just disappeared. When I left Midtown-”

“Yeah, you kept in touch with all your friends. So what? We left under different circumstances” Peter stood up, taking a deep breath and leaning back against the wall. “Your dad went to prison. The building I lived in exploded. My aunt died. If I hadn’t known the Stark’s, I don’t know what would have happened to me after that. Well, I do know: I would’ve been shoved into foster care in just the clothes I was stood up in. You know I’ve even got a social worker now? And a therapist, and I never wanted one of those either. My parents kinda had to force me into it. They don’t really know what that explosion was like. Do you know how long I spent blaming myself? Thinking that if I’d stayed where I was I could’ve saved her, cos if I survived, she should have as well? And, you know, I’ve ended up in A&E a few times since, and you know what the worst part is, what’s worse than the injuries? Being in that department just reminds me of hours sat in cubicles with this throbbing pain in my head, grabbing every member of hospital staff and begging them to find May... So I got taken in, and then I couldn’t keep going to Midtown, so I got sent to some other school, and there was this boy, and basically the whole year, but this one boy in particular, and it was just” he laughed awkwardly. “Flash thinks he’s a bully, and he doesn’t have a clue. He was always a twat, but he was nothing, he really wasn’t. But this guy and his friends... So they found out how much they were hurting me eventually, and then they took me out of that school, and then da- uh, and then Loki left, and then I ended up at St Hendricks, and Loki came back, and it was fine, yknow. I’ve got friends and I get good grades and I’m on the swim team and like, it’s better, yknow. It’s good. So sure, maybe at first it was because I was ill, but why now, when I’ve rebuilt my life, which is arguably better than my last one, would I want to talk to anyone from Midtown? No one ever really liked me there. So everyone’s like, oh, Peter never kept in touch, but what effort did any of them make to keep in touch with me? They didn’t care. And now neither do I. I don’t want anything to do with them anymore. They can’t offer me anything now that would make my life any better. So I don’t really know what you want with me, Liz, because we weren’t really friends back then either. We ran in different crowds, we had different lives. And now, well, if you want something, just lay it down, but whatever you think you want, you can’t have. I’ve changed so many times since you moved. I’m nothing of the person you once knew”

For a moment Liz just looked at him. She couldn’t remember ever hearing him speak so much in one go before. She stood up, and Peter looked at her - nervously, she thought. He was breathing heavily, as though he’d been running.

She stood in front of him, and she hugged him close.

* 

 


	7. Hitting The Ditches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have no idea how to write suspense/do mood setting so you’ll have to use your imaginations/creative license I’m sorry
> 
> I tried. Good idea badly executed I'm afraid

-

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“I know what you’re doing” Peter said. “But why?”

“Because you looked like you needed one”

Peter merely rested his cheek against her shoulder. She made him feel so small. He could smell her sweet perfume and feel the warmth of her arms round him. Slowly, he returned the hug.

“I never wanted to upset you” Liz said. “I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I’m glad you’re ok again now”

“Sorry for rambling at you like that”

“Don’t be” 

She let go of him slowly, and moved back. They looked at each other.

“You look good” Liz said. “Navy suits you. And I like your shoes”

“Oh. Thanks” Peter said, looking down at his feet. “They always remind me of the main character from Flushed Away”

Liz looked at him blankly.

“You know. The film? The one about the rats?”

Liz shook her head. “I haven’t seen it”

“Never mind then..”

“I’ll put it on my list of stuff to watch”

“Yeah…”

Peter looked away, and saw the pool. He started over to it, and Liz followed him, sitting down cross-legged at the side when they reached it. 

“Did you see the host? He doesn’t strike me as a swimmer” Peter said, touching the surface of the water with his fingertips. “What a waste”

“He looks like one of those men who spends most days sat in an armchair smoking a pipe, doesn’t he?” Liz said. “…You said you’re on the swim team at your school”

Peter nodded. “I didn’t really want to join, but they wrote to my parents asking me, and dad was pretty stern about it. I was still gonna say no, but I ended up joining anyway”

“Is it fun?”

“Well, the before and after bits of training can be fun, and sometimes when we’re competing we all go on a mini-bus together, and that can be fun too”

“Don’t you like it?”

“Not really. It’s just so repetitive. I’ve always kinda liked swimming, but there’s such a big difference between messing-about-in-a-pool swimming and competitive swimming. There’s nothing fun about swimming up and down, up and down, and relays are even worse. And medley relays are the worst thing ever”

“I’ve never really done swimming that wasn’t messing about. if you don’t like it, why don’t you quit?”

Peter looked down at the water. “I’ve been meaning to for a while now, but it’s not that easy. The coach likes me cos I win a lot, and dad’ll get real upset with me if I quit”

“It’s not his life, Peter”

“I know that. But I don’t wanna upset him, and I don’t know if I could deal with one of those; ‘you’re giving up something you’re really good at’ talks where they start saying you’re throwing your life away or whatever. He keeps trying to get me to apply for some national competitions and stuff like that. And he’s always getting at me to practice”

“Have you got a pool at home then?”

Peter nodded. “I used to love it, but I don’t anymore. I can’t just go and mess about, cos dad’ll start asking how my practice is going and then try and act coach and it does my head in, so I don’t go down there much anymore. But then he gets angry at that too. But not so much recently. Because of my ribs…”

“What happened to you?”

“It doesn’t matter”

“You lied to me”

Peter looked up at her. “What do you mean?”

“You said your life was better now, but you sound miserable”

“I-I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick. I’m not enjoying the swim team stuff, but that’s not really a big thing right now, anyway” 

“It’s not just because of the swimming”

“I’m fine. I just didn’t really want to come tonight. I hate these kinda parties. It’s the worst part about having celebrities as parents. Especially when they’re as famous as dad”

“Can I ask you something about that? How do you differentiate between them when they’re both… dads?”

“Oh? Oh! Oh. Well, I just call them both dad, mostly, especially when we’re at home. But I call Loki ‘daddy Loki’ sometimes” Peter said, and suddenly felt a bit stupid. “I don’t really think about it, to be honest. But Loki is daddy more often than Mr Stark is”

“Do you like it?”

“What? Yeah, yeah, of course I do. We get on really well. We’re friends. We were friends before, basically family. We still are”

Liz opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, there was a shout.

“Little Brother!”

Peter looked round, and his face lit up when he saw Alison. She had a friend with her. Alison ran over, knelt down, and hugged Peter tight.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here, Little Brother!” she grinned, squeezing him and kissing his cheek. “How are you doing? I heard you had a bit of an accident and ended up in hospital”

Peter just hugged her back.

“Oh, Peter, this is Evangeline. Our parents have been friends for years”

“Most people call me Gilly” Evangeline said, smiling at him.

“Sorry” Liz said. “But, Little Brother?”

“Ah, it’s just a school thing” Alison said. “So, you know Peter, and I’ve introduced Evangeline. I’m Ali. And you’re..?” 

“Liz” Liz said. “We used to go to school together. A long time ago”

“Oh cool. Nice to meet you” Ali smiled.

“Nice to meet you. So, this Little Brother thing?”

Oh” Ali gave Peter a squeeze. “Well, Peter started in the middle of the term. We’ve got a scheme at St Hendricks where they give one of us older ones the role of taking care of the kids like Peter, showing them around and checking up on them and all that kind of thing. So I’m his Big Sister, and he’s my Little Brother. He’s such a sweetie, isn’t he?”

Liz smiled and nodded. 

“So, Little Bro, this place seems a bit of a mystery, don’t you think? Old guy in the middle of nowhere, Victorian looking, living in what basically looks like a Victorian mansion, and the party is only in about three rooms, right at the front. There’s a huge building here to explore”

“ _I_ heard that this place is haunted” Gilly said. “I heard, that the ghost of an old woman wanders the corridors but never goes downstairs. And  _apparently_ all of the paintings on the wall change every time you look at them”

“Oh, you can’t really believe that” Ali said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

“Well, there’s definitely something funny about this place” Liz said. 

Peter looked at Ali. Ali searched his face, and nodded.

“Ok, let’s do it” she said, standing up. 

The other three stood up as well.

“What are we doing?” Gilly asked. 

“We’re going to explore, of course!” Ali said. “We’ve just got to slip through that door at the back. It’ll be fine”

Peter looked at Liz. She seemed a little unsure. He took a breath, and held a hand out to her. She took it.

-

Undetected, the four managed to slip through the heavy white doors at the end of the entrance hall. The atmosphere was immediately different once the door was closed behind them. They could still dimly hear the party sounds, but they sounded much further away than they really were. Where they were now was dark, and everything felt a little wobbly and strange. Where they stood in the huge hallway, they were faced with an enormous staircase. It led up to a platform by a large window, and the banisters continued round on either side, up several more steps to another landing stage and staircase. The moonlight was the main source of light, and it bathed everything in a milky, ethereal light.

“It looks like something from Beauty And The Beast” Gilly said.

“Oooh, does that mean we’ll find a magic rose if we find our way to one of the turrets?” Ali said. “Come on, then”

They started up the staircase. It creaked ominously, and they all froze and quickly checked behind them.

“No one’s going to hear: it’s too loud in there” Liz said quietly.

“Then why are you whispering?” Ali said, but she grinned. “Maybe we should try to stay quiet anyway”

They stopped at the top of the staircase, backs to the window, looking left and right.

“Which way should we go?” Gilly asked.

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Liz said.

“We’re not doing any harm” Ali said. She pointed to the staircase to her right. “Let’s go up this one”

So they did. As they set foot on the top step, a loud clunk sounded, and a clock sounding the half hour echoed round the hallway, making them all jump.

“This is scarier than I thought it was going to be” Liz whispered, slowly letting go of Peter’s arm. “Are you ok?”

Peter nodded and gave her the thumbs-up sign. They went over to the grandfather clock which had caused the alarm. It was big, and terribly old, with faded plates in the clock face. It seemed to tick almost excessively loudly.

“It sounds like it’s coming from behind us as well” Ali said, shuddering. “I bet there’s a whole load more of them in this place”

“I’ll bet!” Gilly nodded. “I bet we’ll stumble across some kind of disused nursery full of creepy old Victorian toys at some point”

“Oh, don’t start telling stories, please” Liz begged. “This place is creepy enough without thinking about that kind of thing. I think you’ve already scared Peter: he’s gone so quiet”

Ali giggled at the look on Gilly’s face. “Don’t look so worried! Peter doesn’t ever speak: it’s nothing to do with you”

Liz looked at Ali, and then back at Peter for clarification. Peter merely shrugged. He looked around them. There was only one door they could go through. He went over and tried the handle. It turned easily, but squeaked horribly as he eased the door open. The other three joined behind him, peering into the dark corridor behind the door. There were no windows, so it was pitch black. Gilly shuddered.

“This place is giving me the creeps” she said.

“It’s only because it’s dark” Ali said, taking her phone out and turning the torch on. “There. We can see where we’re going now. Go on, Little Brother”

Peter stepped into the corridor, and the others followed. The door clicked shut behind them. 

“Umm…”

“It’s fine” Ali said. “It wasn’t locked. Come on! I bet there’s a whole load of stuff to discover here” 

Her phone torch wasn’t bright enough to illuminate the whole corridor. She moved it around, so they could see the carpet, the bottom part of the wall, and the paintings higher up. 

“This is so weird”

“It’s like being in a time warp” Liz said. “There’s not even any plug sockets or light switches”

“I  _told_ you this place was haunted” Gilly hissed. 

“Of course it’s not haunted” Ali rolled her eyes. “It’s just an old house. There’s no such thing as-”

Liz suddenly squeaked and grabbed at Peter.

“Something moved..!”

They all looked at her, and Ali lifted her phone, shining the torch across the hallway. They saw nothing. Ali held her phone still - and a huge shadow ran across the beam of light. Liz and Ali gave a little shriek.

“What was that?!”

They looked at each other. It didn’t make any sense. There wasn’t any windows - so how could anything make a shadow like that? Ali spotted the door at the other end of the corridor.

“Come on, quick!”

They ran, and Ali grabbed the door handle. It wouldn’t open.

“It’s locked!” she looked up, and tried the door on the left. “Oh, thank god”

They slammed the door behind them once they were free of the hallway. They all shivered. This was different, all great stone bricks, and it was cold. They found they were stood at the bottom of a spiralling stone staircase. 

“I don’t know about this” Liz said, holding tight to Peter’s arm. 

“There’s no going back now” Ali said determinedly. 

She took hold of the rope serving as a hand rail, and bravely started her ascent. The others had no choice but to follow.

-

The room the four teens found themselves in was well enough lit by the moon for Ali to turn off her phone torch. They stood looking at the strange round room. It was uncarpeted, with a stone floor. 

“What  _is_  this place?” Gilly said, looking at the wooden boxes scattered about. “Some kind of storage room?”

Peter knelt down and tried to prize the lid off one of the boxes, but it was nailed shut.

“There’s another staircase here”

Liz had opened a door on the other side of the room, discovering another spiralling staircase. The other three came over.

“Well, it’s gotta be better than staying up here” Ali said, taking the lead and starting downwards. 

Gilly went next. Liz stopped, looking at Peter.

“Are you sure you’re ok?”

Peter nodded, and gestured for her to go before him.

-

Ali stopped at a window. Through it, she could see across and down to one of the rooms where the party was happening. It was so bright in comparison to everything else that it looked almost orange. 

“Wait, this doesn’t make any sense. Guys, look”

They did. 

“We went up stairs on the same side of the building as the party rooms. How can we be looking at it from the other side?”

No one had an answer, so they didn’t say anything. Ali watched for a moment longer, and then turned her attention back to the dark room she was in. 

“Ok, so what we know-”

They heard a door opening a few rooms away, and footsteps approaching.

“Hide!”

They thanked their lucky stars that they were in a well furnished room. Peter grabbed Liz and ducked down behind the grand piano, while Ali hid under the coffee table, and Gilly behind the heavy curtains. She only just made it before the door opened. They all stayed as still as possible, their hands over their mouths to stop themselves being heard. Peter couldn’t see anything from behind the piano, but he could hear the footsteps. He closed his eyes and started counting in his head. 

It wasn’t long before the door closed again. They waited a while longer, until they were certain the coast was clear, and then emerged from their hiding places.

“Do you think people have noticed we’re gone?” Liz whispered.

Ali slipped her hand into Peter’s pocket, checking his phone.

“No, we’re clear: Peter’s dads would’ve texted if they’d realised” She said.

Peter put his phone back, and looked towards the other door, not the one The Person had entered through. The girls looked too.

“May as well continue on” Gilly said. “We’ve got nothing to lose”

-

Gilly looked at everyone with a kind of anxious pride when they pushed the door open. 

“I told you we’d find something like this!”

The air felt heavy, and Peter rather felt like he was being watched. He tried hard to ignore it. This room was definitely a nursery, and a big one at that. There was a huge rocking horse by the fire place, with horrible staring glazed over glass eyes and half-open mouth with bared teeth. Peter touched its mane cautiously. 

“I bet that’s real hair” Ali said, touching its tail with similar caution. “That’s what they used to do, use real horse hair”

“It’s spooky” Gilly said. “Why is everything in here old? How old  _is_ the host?”

“God knows”

“I don’t like this” Liz whispered. “Isn’t that shelf creeping you out?”

There was a shelf absolutely full of old china dolls, clad in Victorian style dresses, their tiny china hands reaching out towards them. They all looked, their hearts thumping. There was a huge doll sat in a chair by the shelf, and as they looked at her, her arm dropped to her side. Liz squeaked and grabbed Peter.

“Did you see that?!” she gasped. “We need to get out of here!”

“It’s just an old doll: it’s nothing” Ali said, trying to convince herself as well as the others. 

They all became aware of the ticking of a clock, just as loud as the grandfather clock that had scared them earlier. Peter squeezed Liz’s hand tight, looking round the room. He could hear his pulse thumping in his ears. He looked at the dolls, at the rocking horse, the huge dolls house, the shelf full of toys that looked as old as the war. There was a little dresser over by the door. Peter took a deep breath and went over to it. Liz kept hold of his hand and went too, dreading seeing something other than herself reflected in the mirror. They looked at the little mirror, at the old style hand mirror and matching brush, and the big music box. It was pretty, glass, with a little ballerina on top. Peter went to touch it, and as he did, the ballerina started turning, and with it, music started playing. Peter could only stare, his eyes wide.

“Peter, we need to leave!” Liz hissed, her voice shaking. 

She turned round, making Peter follow. The four of them looked at each other.

“Liz is right: there’s something wrong here” Gilly nodded. “Let’s go”

They all nodded - and then froze. There was a loud creaking sound. They looked at each other and then looked towards the window where the sound appeared to be coming from. There they noticed a rocking chair, creaking on its rockers - and a woman shrouded in white sat in it.

*


	8. You Gotta Survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have no idea how to write suspense/do mood setting so you’ll have to use your imaginations I’m sorry (or listen to the Coraline soundtrack to help you along idk)
> 
> Anyway, I had fun writing this but I don't think suspense is my forte.   
> Sorry it's only a little chapter.  
> Also I hope the end makes you smile, cos it made me laugh a little when I read it through. 
> 
> Anyway questions/comments welcome as always <3

-

They screamed.

The white shrouded figure stood up. It turned to them. The veil over it completely obscured its face - it looked as though it didn’t have one. They screamed louder, and the figure started walking towards them.

“RUN!!!”

They ran and tore the door open, but as they did, the figure started moving faster. It was following them, its ghostly fingers reaching out. They made it to the corridor. Gilly tripped, and Peter stopped to help.

“Go!” Gilly shouted - and screamed.

The figure had grabbed her, it’s bony hand tight round her wrist.

“GO!!!”

Alison grabbed Peter and Liz, and ran. 

-

They fell through the door at the end of the corridor, ran across another corridor, through another door, up another set of stairs, through another door - and finally collapsed intp a window seat in yet another dark corridor. 

“What the hell was that?!” Ali squeaked. 

“I don’t know” Liz said. “Oh god, I think I nearly wet myself! I’ve never seen a ghost before”

Ali looked at Peter. He was shaking just as bad as they were, but he had a tear dripping down his cheek. Liz noticed too. 

“Oh Peter, don’t cry” she said, hugging him. “I know: I’m scared too”

Peter held onto her as best he could with trembling hands. Nothing felt real now. He didn’t know what to think, what to believe. Now every shadow was a potential threat, more so than before. He was scared, seriously scared. He wanted to be with his dads - and more than that, he really wished he’d been able to stay at home. His expectations for the night didn’t include an encounter with whatever the hell it was that had got Evangeline. He looked round at Ali.

“I don’t know” Ali said. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s strong…”

“Have you got her number?” Liz said. “We could text her”

“She left it downstairs with her mother” Ali said. “Her dress hasn’t got pockets”

Peter pulled away from Liz. He looked out of the window. There were no signs of the party rooms from here. The corridor was deathly quiet aside from their breathing and the sound of his heart beating in his ears. He looked at Ali, taking her hand. He looked at Liz and took hers. He looked up at the broken grandfather clock opposite them. He swallowed hard. 

So now there were three.

-

They were hopelessly lost. They didn’t recognise a single thing they passed. Every door lead to another strange room. They kept coming across staircases which seemed to lead back to where they’d been a moment before. They were more cautious now that their party had lost a member. They didn’t hear any footsteps other than their own, but every creaking floorboard made them hold their breath, and the mechanical clicking and thuddingof clocks sounds the quarter hour made them jump out of their skin - and it seemed to happen all too often. It was as though every clock was set to a different time. 

“I give up” Ali said, stopping and sitting down at the top of yet another staircase.

“We can’t give up!” Liz said. “No one knows we’re up here. We’re never going to get out if we just sit and wait to be found”

Peter nodded firmly in agreement.

“Besides, we don’t know  _what_ might find us” Liz said. She sighed. “Poor Gilly”

“She sacrificed herself to save us” Ali said bravely. “She told us to go”

“I still can’t get that  _thing_  out of my head. I keep thinking it’ll suddenly appear again and get us-”

Peter turned away from them, and went to lean against the bit of railing at the top of the stairs. This was a proper big staircase, and it had a banister to match. It was a strange banister. Very wide, for a start, but with a dip in it. It was like an open gutter, only square. He looked at it. He looked at the creepy paintings lining the wall by the stairs. He looked at the landing stage at the bottom, which looked like it connected to two more staircases. He looked at the banister again, and hauled himself up onto it.

“Peter?” Ali stood up. “What are you doing?”

She went over to him, and Liz followed. They saw the strange banister for themselves.

“Ohh” Ali nodded, understanding. “Are you sure that’s safe?”

Peter shrugged. They were in a haunted house - they couldn’t get more dangerous than that. A banister was the least of their problems.

“Don’t hurt yourself” Liz begged. 

Peter nodded, swinging his legs up, resting at the top of the strange banister. It was big enough to be a comfortable fit. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to use it as a slide. He pushed off. 

It worked. He slid down at a faster speed than expected, more on his back than his bottom, and shot off the end with an uncomfortable bump, landing on his feet, but soon falling onto his knees. He stood up carefully, dusted himself off, and waved in the direction of the girls, so that even though he couldn’t quite see them, they’d be able to see that he was ok.

Liz and Ali looked at each other. 

“We may as well go too” Ali shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind betting it’s safer to stay together”

“I don’t know. I’m wearing a dress!”

“So am I. What, worried we’ll see your knickers?” she grinned. “You just have to hold it in the right way. Allow me to demonstrate”

She hauled herself up and swung her legs onto the banister. She took the sides of her skirt and held them together over her knees so it was tight.

“Like this, ok?” 

Liz nodded. “Be careful”

Ali pushed off, landing in a similar manner to Peter at the bottom, but not falling to her knees as she had Peter to grab onto to steady herself. Liz shuddered. She didn’t really want to go, but it was better than staying all by herself. She followed suit, and fell into Peter’s arms at the bottom.

“Despite everything, that was kinda fun” she said. 

Peter smiled at her. She smiled back, and stood to rights. She looked around, and then looked at her companions. 

“Where do we go from here?”

“Down” Ali said. “The party is on the ground floor. If we want to get back there, we need to try not to go  _up_ any more staircases”

“Agreed” Liz nodded. “I want to get out of here”

They all three looked at each other with pale, determined faces, trying not to let on what they each knew - that their hearts were thumping, their hands were sweaty, and they were scared out of their wits. 

-

The big staircases stopped. They found a window, and they still weren’t at ground level. They didn’t know where they were. They tried to work it out.

“This looks like the back of the house” Ali said. “The party rooms were on the left, so..” she turned round. “We need to  _go_ left, and try to find a staircase down”

“But we came up a staircase in the middle of the house at the start” Liz said. “So surely we should try to find the middle”

Ali turned back to the window. “I can’t even work out which side of the house we’re on! Oh, I’m getting sick of this!”

Peter gave her hand a squeeze. She looked at him, and down at their hands. She squeezed his hand back and looked up, clearing her throat.

“Ok, Little Bro” she said. “Ok, the important thing is to find a staircase leading down. We’re still not at ground level, and that’s where we need to be. Let’s go”

Peter and Liz went without question, glad to not be the decision maker. They wanted to get out of here too - and they were willing to do just about anything to make sure they did. 

-

Peter turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. He grabbed Liz by the arm. She looked at him.

“What is it?”

Peter looked at the corridor, and back at her. She shook her head blankly. Peter looked at Ali instead.

“You’re right” she said, getting her phone out and turning its torch on. “This is where we saw that shadow despite there being no windows”

Liz shuddered. “Do we have to go down here?”

Peter took a deep breath, and nodded.

“I think we have to. If nothing’s changed, we can get back to the top of those stairs that lead down to those main stairs that we went up at the start”

Liz took Peter’s hand, and they stepped into the corridor. They took a few cautious steps - and the door slammed shut behind them. They all turned to look in shock, and as they did, they heard a horrible squeak and the unmistakable dull clang of a the lock turning. 

“Oh my god..!”

Peter gripped Liz’s hand tight. He looked at Ali. Ali swallowed very hard indeed, and shone her phone torch down the length of the corridor.

“We’ve got to go”

The corridor looked horrible and surreal and dusty in the dim light. 

“What if the door at the end is locked?”

“We’ll just have to hope it isn’t” Ali said determinedly. She took Peter’s free hand. “Let’s run”

They ran like they were being pursued by demons - which felt like a very real possibility, given the circumstances. They reached the end, grabbed the door handle, tugged it open, and slammed it shut behind them. 

They all fell to the floor, panting and gasping and feeling like if they had one more fright, they may well wet themselves - or simply drop dead on the spot. 

-

Once they’d caught their breath, Ali sat up properly.

“Hey, I think I can hear something”

They froze, and listened carefully. They could hear something too. They weren’t sure what it was, but at least it didn’t sound demonic. Peter got down and put his ear to the floor, pressing against the faded old carpet. He could hear the muffled sounds of lots of people speaking. Liz and Ali copied, and confirmed his suspicions.

“We must be close” 

They sat back against the wall, looking over at the top of the stairs.

“We just need to go down a couple more sets of stairs”

“I’m sick of stairs” Ali said. “And I never want to see an old house ever again”

They hauled themselves to their feet. Peter looked at the horrible old grandfather clock. He’d never look at them the same way again. Liz took his hand, and Ali took the other, and they started down the stairs. Peter stopped abruptly halfway down. Liz and Ali stopped too. They could hear something. Something dull, and much closer to them than the party. 

Footsteps.

Peter turned to look behind him, and Liz and Ali did too. The door they’d come through mere minutes before burst open - and there was the white-shrouded figure from the nursery. 

They screamed. 

They ran again, and tripped, falling in a tangled heap at the bottom of the stairs. They looked up as they tried to recover themselves, and saw that the white figure was accompanied by a large black figure, and they were hot on their trail. 

Shaking with fear and adrenaline, they struggled to their feet, jumped down the few steps to the main landing stage, ready to run the last staircase back to where they should be.

But they were too late. 

They were all three grabbed by the huge black figure. They screamed, kicking and struggling helplessly, unable to get away, shaking like they never had before, tears streaming down their faces.

Peter looked up, and found himself face to face with their captor.

The Host.

*


	9. Dark-Haired Dangerous Schoolkids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway I'm horrible and I'm sorry

-

Peter sat leaning against Tony’s shoulder, trying to work out exactly what the hell had just happened. It had all happened so strangely fast, and it all felt so surreal. 

The black figure was just their strange old Victorian-looking host. He hadn’t been too happy with them for scaring his mother, the white-shrouded figure. He’d delivered them back to the party rooms and back to their parents. Liz’s mother had just sighed and didn’t get too cross. Ali’s mother was very annoyed at them, and she took Ali outside to have a word. 

Peter was handed to Loki, who was dreadfully cross. He’d grabbed hold of him and dragged him into the cloakroom where no one could hear. Once there, he gave him a good telling off, and slapped the back of his legs, which stung horribly. Then, deciding he’d rather be necking G&T’s than standing in a cloakroom shouting, Loki passed the boy on to Tony to keep an eye on, and that was that.

-

Peter looked around. He still felt all sick and feeble and funny. He didn’t know how long they’d been exploring the weird rooms and corridors, but it felt like it had lasted for days. It felt so weird suddenly being in the bright. There was something so wrong about this place. Ok, so the black figure was the Host, and  _apparently_  the woman shrouded in white was the Host’s mother - which didn’t make much sense to Peter’s young mind, because the host himself seemed about a hundred years old. Besides, why was she just sat in an old nursery in the dark? That was super weird.

The dark itself was weird. They’d done most of their adventure by moonlight, as they could never find any light switches, and probably wouldn’t have used them anyway, in case they drew attention to themselves. There was most definitely electricity here - it was evident by the party rooms - so the lack of light switches and the time warp of the rest of the house made no sense whatsoever.

Ok, so the figure in white was just some weird old lady, who was still pretty scary, but apparently not some sort of supernatural entity. But that still didn’t explain some things, like the music box playing on its own, and the doors that shut themselves without help - not to mention the one that locked itself behind them, and the shadows in the windowless corridor. He didn’t care what anyone else said: there was definitely something seriously weird going on here. 

-

Peter spotted Ali through the crowds. She was sat on the windowsill on the opposite side of the room. Evangeline, who had been returned safely much earlier on in the evening, was sat beside her. Ali was talking, and Gilly was watching her intently. Peter imagined she was filling her in on everything that had happened after she’d been captured. Peter was dying to go over and question Gilly himself, but he still had Tony’s arm tight round him, and he was quite certain he was still in trouble. He’d just have to wait.

-

Liz sat down beside Peter.

“Hi”

Peter looked at her, grateful that Tony was too absorbed in his own conversation to pay any attention.

“Hi…”

“Are you ok? Your dad looked really angry back there”

“He was” Peter nodded. “I’m fine, if a little fed up. I just don’t want to be stuck on this seat for the rest of the night”

“Can’t you slip away? Ali and Gilly said we could hang about outside if you could get away”

“I’m kinda under wraps a bit here” Peter said, looking down at Tony’s arm, which was acting as a very good make-shift seat belt.

“I can see that. He seems a bit distracted though. Come on”

Peter paused. He wriggled, and Tony moved his arm, still looking the other way. 

“Oh” Peter said. “That was easy”

He checked he wasn’t about to be grabbed, and stood up. Liz took his hand and rushed him away.

-

They met up with Gilly and Ali by the main entrance.

“You got away then!” Ali grinned. “Come on; I could do with some air”

They slipped outside and settled themselves back by the side of the pool. There, they spent a long while recounting the evenings events, filling Gilly in on everything she’d missed, and offering their still-standing theories - mostly about the Host’s mother and the fact that the house was most definitely Still Haunted. 

Eventually they all gave a sigh and sat back quietly, sipping from their glasses of lemonade. 

“Well, whatever it was that happened tonight, there’s no way I’m ever coming back here again if I can help it” Ali said.

“Agreed. It’s been like something out of a horror film” Gilly said.

“ _Exactly_ like a horror film!” Liz agreed.

Peter nodded, looking down at the pool. He reached out, touching the surface gently, sending ripples back and forth across the water. Ali dipped her own fingers in.

“It’s warm” she said. “It must be heated…”

She paused, and then looked up, her eyes glittering. Gilly looked at her.

“I know that look”

Ali grinned. “Anyone fancy a swim?”

Peter and Liz stared at her, and Gilly winced.

“We haven’t got swimming costumes!” Liz said. 

“Oh well, I’m sure we’ll manage without them” Ali said.

She stood up, kicked her shoes off, reached behind her to undo her zip, and slipped out of her dress, leaving her in just her bra and knickers. 

“Ali!!”

“What?” Ali said, laughing at them. “It’s such a waste not to use it”

And with that, she jumped into the pool with a splash. She emerged a few seconds later, pushing stray bits of hair out of her face.

“Come on then! You wouldn’t leave me lonely, would you?” she grinned.

Gilly sighed and stood up. “I suppose we’ve no choice”

She too stripped off and jumped in. Within seconds, her and Ali were splashing about together. Ali laughed, reaching up and tightening her wet ponytail. She looked over at Liz and Peter.

“Come on, you two!”

Liz looked at Peter. “Should we..?”

Peter wasn’t sure. He was in trouble already, and he wasn’t sure this would go down well if they were caught. But, on the other hand, it did look like fun. He pulled his tie from his neck and shrugged his blazer off.

“Are we really doing this? Oh my god…”

Peter shrugged and smiled, undoing his shirt buttons. 

“You’ve gone all quiet again” Liz noted. 

She sighed and stood up when Peter did. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand when she saw the deep gashes and heavy bruising after he’d taken his shirt off.

“Is this why you were in hospital recently?”

Peter nodded, setting his shirt down with the rest of his stuff and kicking his shoes off.

“It looks so sore…”

“Hurry up, you two!” Ali called. “Come on, the water’s nice!”

Liz looked at Peter again, trying not to stare at his injuries. He just raised an eyebrow at her. He started undoing his trousers, so Liz finally took her shoes off and undid her dress. She was suddenly nervous. She stood there for a moment, dress undone, holding it up with one hand. Peter turned to her, now down to just his pants. He held a hand out to her. She still hesitated - but if Peter could be brave when he was so torn up, so could she. She let her dress fall, stepped out of it, and took Peter’s hand. He grinned at her. She smiled back nervously, and together, they jumped into the pool. Ali and Gilly cheered as they bobbed back up.

“Finally!” Ali laughed. “Come on, Little Brother! Race you!”

Even with the obvious setbacks, Ali was no match for Peter. They still raced a while, with Gilly and Liz cheering them on, but later stopped in favour of messing about, splashing each other and playing stupid games. The water was warm, and the night air cold, and there was something wonderful about that. 

Liz watched Peter. She saw his cuts and bruises, but she also saw the look on his face and in his eyes. Despite everything he’d told her, despite everything he’d been through, she was certain he’d never been this happy back when they knew each other. She couldn’t help loving that look. 

-

They forgot about the world around them, and in turn were much louder than they intended. They lasted a good forty-five minutes before the inevitable happened. After their earlier disappearance, their absence from the party rooms, once noticed, was most suspicious. Four people set out to find them.

They were messing about by the edge of the pool. Peter all but shrieked as his arm was grabbed. He looked up just as Loki dropped the veil and allowed himself to be seen.

“What the hell are you playing at?!” he snapped, dragging the boy out of the pool and producing a towel from nowhere. 

Loki was closely followed by three more very cross-looking parents. Once all out of the pool and in the hands of their guardians, the kids managed to exchange pained looks with each other. Despite their very obvious disgrace, they couldn’t help laughing. Loki gave Peter a good shake for his efforts. He produced a pile of towels which he left for the other parents, grabbed Peter’s clothes, and dragged the boy inside.

-

Peter couldn’t stop laughing even when he was stuck in one of the back wet room cubicles naked with both Loki and Tony telling him off.

“Honestly, Peter, I don’t know what’s gotten into you” Tony fumed, towelling the boy dry furiously. “We ask you to be on your best behaviour, and you - who are usually pretty good at these things, if a little whiny - go out of your way to cause mischief”

“Who do you think I get it from?” Peter giggled.

Tony gave him a good shake. “You’re not funny! My god Peter, have you any idea how embarrassing this is for us? You’ve been an absolute menace”

“Oh come on! Just last week you were telling me I should act more like a normal kid, and now that I  _am_ , you’re just getting cross with me!”

“Don’t you start getting smart with us, young man!” Loki snapped. “There’s acting like a normal kid, and then there’s whatever the hell it is that you’ve done tonight. You and your little friends sneak away, go wandering about, scare the Host’s mother-”

“ _We_ scared  _her_?!” Peter interrupted. “She scared us half to death! We thought she was a ghost, all in white sitting in a dark old nursery. I mean, you can’t tell me that’s normal! And besides, how can she be the Host’s  _mother_? He’s like, 132 years old!”

“Peter, don’t get cheeky” Tony chided. 

“But I’m just-”

“Peter, shut up” Loki growled. “So, as if that whole thing wasn’t bad enough, you then go and strip off and go swimming in his pool. What on Earth made you think that was acceptable behaviour?”

“It was Ali’s idea. And hey, at least we didn’t skinny dip”

Loki smacked him hard on the bottom.

“Ow! Hey, that hurt!”

“Good! You’ve been an absolute nightmare tonight”

“Exactly” Tony shoved the towel at Peter for him to finish drying himself. “You mark my words, young man: you’re going to get one hell of a spanking as soon as we get home, do you understand me?”

Peter just scowled. Absolutely typical. They told him to act like a kid, and then shouted at him when he did. 

“You need to learn to see the funny side of things”

Tony grabbed him by the shoulders and gave him a good shake.

“You cheeky little bugger! What on Earth has gotten into you? For god’s sake! What would May think if she could see you now?”

“Don’t bring her into this. I know for a fact she did much worse when she was my age”

“Stop answering us back!” Tony growled. “You’re doing my head in! Just shut your mouth and listen: you’re going to get dressed, and then you’re going to be as good as gold for the rest of the night, do you understand me??”

Peter didn’t say anything, because he’d been told to shut his mouth, and he was going to use that order to his advantage. Besides, he had a feeling that if he tried to say anything else, he’d just end up crying.

-

Peter looked up.

“Oh. Hey”

“Hey..” Liz sat down next to him on the big marble steps. “I expected your parents to have you in a vice. Gilly and Ali’s gave up and dragged them home”

Peter couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Yeah, poor Ali. Poor Gil” he shook his head. “They kept hold of me for a little bit, but then they ended up sending me out here to get rid of me”

“Why? What did you do?

“I accidentally on purpose spilled a big pitcher of Pimms on this snooty woman’s Louboutin’s”

“Peter!” Liz giggled. “Why did you do that?”

“Aww, she was making all these stupid ‘kids these days’ type comments, and my hand just  _happened_ to slip when she went off on a ‘back in my day’ tangent. You should’ve seen her face!” he stopped and giggled. “Absolute definition of abject horror”

“Serves her right. So, you got sent out here?”

“Yeah. Dad’s pretty furious with me already, but that kinda pushed him over the edge a bit. Like, he just kinda gave up and told me to go and sit outside on my own where I couldn’t get into trouble… What did your mum say?”

“She tried to be serious, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh the whole time she was telling me off. I don’t think she’s really cross”

“Lucky you” Peter said, but he smiled.

“One thing I didn’t think about when we were swimming was how it would feel afterwards”

“Tired?”

“A bit. But I was thinking more… Are you- are you going commando right now?”

Peter looked at her, and laughed. “No, slightly-damp and pretty uncomfortable pants for me”

“Oh good, I’m glad I’m not the only one! I kinda want to get home just to get these off!”

“I know what you mean. I think my parents are gonna call it a night soon. I think dad regrets agreeing to go teetotal tonight” 

“I know you’re in a whole load of trouble… but even though it was pretty scary when we were inside, I’ve kinda had fun tonight. I didn’t expect this party to be like this”

“Me neither” Peter said. “I spent all day trying to guilt-trip them into letting me stay home, but they insisted I come anyway. I suppose tonight’s events were partly their own fault, in that respect”

Liz giggled. “I probably wouldn’t say that in front of them”

“Yeah, I kinda value my life” Peter said. “Nah, I get dragged to a whole bunch of parties, and I usually spend them either being forced into conversation with dad’s workmates, or with my head buried in daddy Loki’s chest whining that I want to go home. So I suppose tonight was a refreshing change. Even though we ended up encountering ghosts”

“It wasn’t really a ghost in the end”

“Ok, maybe not the thing from the nursery, but how do you explain the music box and the shadows and that door that locked itself?”

Liz opened her mouth to respond, and then shut it again. She didn’t have an explanation. 

“I’m gonna have nightmares if I think about it too much” she said. “It’s far too weird”

They sat quietly for some minutes, looking out over the huge drive and gardens. 

“So” Liz said eventually. “How long have you and your boyfriend been together?”

“What?!” Peter looked at her. “I don’t  _have_ a boyfriend!”

“You don’t have to lie to me” she said. “I saw you. In the grounds of that house in town”

“You were there? Oh. That was Malaki. He’s just a friend from school”

“Peter. You were kissing”

Peter blushed. “Oh, you saw that… Ok, we’ve kissed. A lot. But he really is just a friend”

“Is that all you want?”

“ _I_ don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it. I’m not really bothered about getting into a relationship or whatever”

“I never knew you were gay”

“I’m not!”

“You were kissing a boy!”

“Yeah, ok, but that doesn’t mean I’m gay!” Peter huffed. “I like both, I guess”

Liz looked at him for a moment. “You’re right, you know”

“About what?”

“About… you not being the same person you were when we knew each other”

“Oh”

Liz took his hand. “I can tell that you’ve changed. But I can still see the old you in there too”

Peter sighed and squeezed her hand. “You’ve changed too”

“I know. Still, it’s been good to catch up”

“Yeah… Well, it’s been interesting. Tonight has, anyway. I-uh, well, I didn’t really know how it would go down. But I’m kinda glad you were here tonight”

Liz smiled for a moment. “…Peter?”

“Mm?”

“Are you scared of Alison?”

Peter sat up straight. “What?! No! Why would you think that?”

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just…” she swallowed. “You didn’t speak, all the time we were with her. Not one word”

“Oh” Peter could feel himself blushing again. “Oh. Um… About that… Can I borrow your phone?”

Liz unlocked it and handed it over. Peter barely had the chance to start typing before they were interrupted. 

“Peter!” Tony called, appearing a few feet behind them with Loki. “We’re going. Get a wiggle on”

“Oh, uh, ok…”

He locked Liz’s phone and handed it back to her. 

“I gotta…”

“I know” Liz smiled and stood up, helping Peter to his feet. “You know, I’m gonna be around for a while. Maybe I’ll see you again”

“Maybe… It was good to hang out with you tonight. Even though we nearly got scared to death”

Liz giggled.

“Peter, hurry up, please”

Peter nodded in his direct. “Liz… When we knew each other before, it was so long ago. It feels like a different life now. It’s been kinda weird seeing you again. But I don’t regret it”

“I don’t either. I always thought you were sweet. We just ran with different crowds”

“Yeah, I guess we did. Hey, abou-”

“Peter, I won’t ask you again!!”

Peter flinched a little at his tone. He looked apologetically at Liz.

“Look, I gotta go. I’m in enough trouble as it is”

“I know. I’m sorry. Look, Peter-”

“I really gotta go”

They looked at each other for a moment, and then hugged. They held each other tight, and it felt like they were right to do it.

Liz watched as Peter was guided off to the car with Tony’s hand firmly on the small of his back. She waited until he was out of sight, and sat down with a sigh. She opened her phone to check her messages, and found that Peter had left a web page open for her. The title read ‘Selective Mutism’.

-

“I don’t know what you’re looking so pleased about” Tony scowled, looking at Peter in the rear-view mirror.

Peter just shrugged, still giggling to himself.

“You’ve been an absolute liability tonight. You’re lucky the host is such a forgiving man. If anyone else…”

Peter stopped listening. His phone buzzed. The number it came from wasn’t saved in his phone.

_Hi Peter, it’s Liz. I hope this is the right number! I read the website. I understand now xx_

Peter smiled at his phone, and sighed with relief. 

_Hi Liz, it is the right number! Thank you for understanding. Peter x_

Tony was still rambling on, but Peter could barely hear him. His phone buzzed again.

_Thank you for tonight. I had fun x_

Peter smiled and hugged his phone to his chest. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the headrest. It only lasted a moment or two before Tony snapped and made him jump.

“Peter! You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?!”

Peter shook his head. “Sorry. I’ve just- I’ve got other stuff on my mind. It’s been a weird evening”

Tony gave Loki an exasperated look. “I don’t even know what to say any more”

“Well, no one said this parenting lark was going to be easy”

They started talking between themselves in hushed tones. Peter didn’t really care. Despite having a hell of a fright (or two or three or four) that night, he felt good. He was pretty tired, and he had that funny empty, hungry feeling in his tummy that you get after exercise. He felt quite peaceful. He rested his head in his hand and looked out of the window, watching the passing street lights, and feeling - and knowing - that he was in the blissful calm before the storm, and he was more than happy to be there.

-

It all felt so weird that Loki and Tony could be so cross and fed up when Peter himself felt so calm and happy. But, as he expected, that feeling didn’t carry on for long after they got home. 

“Go and get into your pyjamas and then come through to the back room”

Peter tried to think of what to say while he got himself changed. He still couldn’t see how a little bit of wandering off and swimming could make the grown-ups to angry. 

-

Peter sat down on the futon as instructed, with Tony and Loki stood in front of him. He clasped his hands together nervously, not quite able to look at them.

“Have you got anything to say for yourself?” Tony asked.

Peter swallowed hard. “I don’t really understand why I’m in trouble”

Tony and Loki exchanged a look.

“What do you mean, you don’t understand?”

“Well, I don’t understand. I didn’t cause any harm tonight”

“Didn’t cause any harm?” Tony sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Peter, your actions tonight were completely inappropriate. Whether you caused harm or not is also quite subjective. Objective. Whichever. Look, you were disrespectful, whether you meant to be or not. You scared and distressed the hosts mother, you went wandering off to places you shouldn’t be, you used the pool without permission - and I’m pretty sure you ruined a pair of incredibly expensive shoes with a jug of Pimm’s”

“I can see why you’re annoyed about that lady and her shoes, even if she deserved it, but the other stuff was harmless, right? That woman scared the hell out of us! She looked like she didn’t have a face, and she just kinda  _appeared_ , and I don’t get what she was doing in a dusty dark old nursery”

“Peter, it’s her home: she can do as she wishes”

“But it was weird! And she scared us way more than she scared us. It was awful, we really thought it was a ghost or a demon or something” he took a deep breath. “I guess we kinda knew we were supposed to just be in the party rooms, but it was just kinda so tempting. It was Ali’s idea, anyway. AND, and anyway, we weren’t doing anything  _bad_ : we were just looking. It’s not like we were walking round with the intention of stealing or anything like that, and we didn’t break anything, and we didn’t even really touch much stuff. Oh dad, we didn’t do anything  _wrong_ , don’t you see?!”

“Your intentions for being there are irrelevant. What’s relevant is the fact that you went where you shouldn’t be. You had no right to go wandering round someone’s house like that, especially without permission” Tony scolded. “And what of the swimming pool? That was unbelievably inappropriate and brazen and bold of you. I suppose that was Ali’s idea too?”

“It  _was_! I  _told_ you that earlier!” Peter said. “Didn’t you ever do anything like that when you were young?”

“What I did when I was a kid doesn’t matter. This isn’t about me: it’s about you. You and your little friends made a right show of yourselves. What did you think you were doing?” 

Peter kept his head down, trying to hide the tears welling in his eyes. 

“Peter, answer your father when he’s talking to you” Loki said. 

“Yes, answer me, Peter. What on Earth was tonight all about?”

Peter swallowed very hard indeed. He took a few deep breaths, and raised his head.

“I had fun tonight…” he whispered.

“What was that?”

Peter cleared his throat and spoke louder. “I had fun tonight. I know you don’t wanna hear that, but… Ok, so it was really, really scary upstairs, like we were in a horror film or something. But bits of it were ok. Kinda like a game show at times when it wasn’t quite so scary. And then when we were in the pool…” Peter stopped, and couldn’t help smiling to himself. “It was so much fun. Actually being able to mess about in a pool without having to think about contests or lap times or whatever, it was really good”

Loki and Tony looked at each other, unsure what to say.

“I’ve been so, so bored recently, and I’ve been so upset” Peter continued. “I didn’t have access to the lab for a bit, and you’ve taken away my suit, and you’ve grounded me, and I’ve just been so bored and lonely and sad. And I didn’t feel any of those things tonight. I got to hang out with Ali, and with an old friend, and I got to make a new friend, and we just had fun. I enjoyed myself tonight”

Tony could feel himself softening. He was annoyed at himself. After the embarrassment Peter and his friends had caused, and the antics and attitudes they’d shown, he couldn’t just let it slide, surely. 

“Peter, I understand what you’re saying” Tony said. “I get it. But you must know deep down that your behaviour tonight wasn’t acceptable. I know your friends are in trouble too, so you can’t act like this is purely us. You were silly and disrespectful and that’s just not good enough”

“You can’t guilt trip your way out of this one” Loki said firmly. “You’re a bad little boy. As Tony said earlier; you’re lucky tonight’s host was happy to forgive you after a bit of talking round. He really wasn’t happy with you, and that makes us look bad too. You just came across as silly and unruly and cheeky tonight”

“Well if you’d let me stay home like I asked, none of this would have ever even happened!” Peter suddenly shouted. 

“Don’t you  _dare_ try to blame us for this!” Tony snapped, angry again. “You’re a silly, insolent little kid who doesn’t seem to realise that he is, indeed, a child-”

“Which is exactly what you two keep telling me to act like! You won’t let me be Spiderman anymore, and then if I join in with what ‘normal kids’ are doing like you said, you just get angry at that as well. I don’t get what I’m supposed to do!”

“What you’re supposed to do is what you’re told” Tony said. “Stop arguing and trying to excuse your behaviour. You know what you’ve done wrong, and you know why you’re in trouble. Right?”

“Yes, but I don’t agree with it, and I’m not sorry either!”

“Well that’s just tough, and completely besides the point” Loki said. “You’ve behaved badly, and you’re going to be punished for it”

“But it’s not fair!” Peter cried, scrubbing the tears from his eyes with his sleeve. “You’ve already shouted at me for all of this!”

“We have, and you laughed through half of it. What did you get told after we’d dragged you from the pool?”

Peter knew what he was getting at. He bit the insides of his mouth hard, trying not to cry. 

“So you were listening to that bit” Loki sat down at the other side of the futon. “Now, you can either get over here with no more fuss, or I’ll go and grab my slipper”

Peter looked at him. He wiped more tears from his face, and looked at Tony desperately. Tony looked back, swallowing hard - and was saved from having to say anything by his mobile phone. He took it out of his pocket.

“I’ve got to get this”

He left the room. Peter looked back at Loki and burst into tears, covering his face with his hands. It was hard to believe that a mere half hour ago he’d felt so contented with life.

“Now, stop it with the crocodile tears. You won’t get round me that easily” he sighed heavily. “Five”

Peter tried to breathe deeply.

“Four”

Peter looked up, confused. 

“Three”

And then it clicked. In that moment, he hated Loki, but he knew that disobeying him would only make the whole situation a whole lot worse. He had no choice but to step up and take it.

-

Peter slammed his bedroom door as hard as he could behind him. He collapsed onto the bed, pulled a pillow over his face, and screamed into it. He knew he was being ridiculous, as he always knew when he got like this, but it was hard to care enough to stop. He felt his phone buzz. He moved the pillow so it wasn’t covering his eyes anymore, and grabbed his phone.

_Hope you’re not in too much trouble! Goodnight! Liz xxxx_

Peter threw the phone aside and screamed again. He hated himself. He felt like he’d been a mess ever since May died, and he didn’t know how to stop things from making him act like this. He supposed at least it only happened at home, where it was safe to cause a scene (and he supposed Loki was partly to thank for that mercy), but he still wished be didn’t always feel things so deeply. Loki hadn’t even been that hard on him, and he didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as he’d expected, but he still felt so angry and betrayed and upset. He wasn’t a fan of either parent right now. He wanted to be back messing about in the swimming pool as though he didn’t have a care in the world.

He looked round the room, or what he could see of it from on his back with a pillow over half of his face. His eyes rested on the framed photo of him and May that he kept on his bedside table. He picked it up and looked at it properly, and started crying anew. He missed her so much sometimes, and this was one of those times. He buried his face in the pillow, held the photo in its frame against his chest, and howled. He felt so horrible and alone and mixed up. So, in this life, when he was happy, he was often happier than he had been before. But, in his last life, when he was sad, he was never sad like this. He’d never laid in bed at the flat throwing a toddler tantrum and screaming into a pillow. But even though he knew this, as he lay doing just that, he imagined May sat beside him, stroking his hair. And in that moment, there was no one he wanted more than the one person he couldn’t have.

*


	10. Can't Carry On Anymore

-

Peter thought he’d feel fine in the morning, but he didn’t. The first thing that annoyed him was that his parents had obviously been in, as the photo was back on the bedside table, and he was tucked up under the quilt. He didn’t know why it annoyed him so much, but it did. 

He hauled himself out of bed, had a quick wash and got dressed, and wandered off to the kitchen. He tugged at Tony’s sleeve.

“Hey kiddo”

“I need to go out”

“You’re grounded” Tony said. “You know that”

Peter nodded. “I need to go out”

Tony sighed. “Where?”

“It’s none of your business! Can’t you just let me out for an hour or two?”

“Where are you wanting to go?”

“That’s none of your business! I’ve already  _said_ that!”

“Why are you crying, Peter?”

Peter knuckled his eyes. “I hate you”

Tony just nodded and went back to what he was doing. Peter was about to pounce when he heard Loki’s familiar footsteps. 

“Have one of you been using my debit card? My statement doesn’t make any sense”

“How much is it out by?”

“About $83” Loki said, frowning at his tablet. “I’ve been through all my receipts and emails and it’s definitely nothing I can account for”

Tony looked at him, and then they both looked at Peter. 

“What?”

“You know what” Tony said. “Have you been using dad’s card?”

“I’ve got my own bank account”

“That wasn’t my question. What have you been buying?”

“I’ll tell you if you let me go out”

Tony sighed in an exasperated fashion, and shook his head at Loki. 

“I know, unbelievable” Loki said, raising an eyebrow. “Go to your room, Peter. We’ll talk about this later”

“No, I need to go out”

“So you keep saying” Tony said. “But you won’t tell me where you need to go”

“I’m going to the shop later if you need me to pick anything up” Loki said.

“I don’t need a shop! I need to go  _out_!”

“You’re getting hysterical” Tony said. “Calm down, please”

Peter didn’t. Once he’d started crying, he couldn’t stop. Loki saw Tony twitching in annoyance, and took one for the team. He lifted Peter up into his arms.

“Get us a cup of tea, will you, darling?” Loki said to Tony.

He grabbed a sports drink and a packet of biscuits, and took Peter out of the room.

-

Loki put the drink and biscuits on the lamp table, and set Peter down on the sofa.

“You need to stop”

“I can’t..!” Peter howled. “I  _can’t_!!”

“Yes you can. What on Earth has gotten into you? It’s a bit early in the day for a breakdown, isn’t it?”

“You’re not funny! I want to go out!!”

“Well that’s just tough, and you know it” Loki said, not unkindly. “Come on now, you’re going to give yourself one hell of a headache”

Peter just kept crying. Loki grabbed a dark green tartan-patterned blanket and wrapped it round the boys shoulders.

“There we are, my Small Soft Hamish” 

Peter just cried harder at this familiar little joke. He was hurting too much to allow himself to be consoled. Loki put his arms round the boy and hugged him close.

“Sshh. It’s ok, I’ve got you. You’re ok, even if you think otherwise. You’re here, and you’re safe”

Peter clung to him despite himself. Maybe he just knew he was being silly. 

-

Loki let go of him when Tony came into the room with a couple of mugs of tea. He took Peter’s mug from him and passed it to the boy.

“Here. Tea. It’ll make you feel better” he said. “You’ve got a sports drink there, don’t forget, and some biscuits, for your sugars” 

Peter took the tea reluctantly. Loki stood up and started fiddling with the DVD player. Tony set Loki’s mug down and sat down beside Peter.

“You’re no better than you were ten minutes ago. What’s up?” 

“What do you  _think_?! You’re always taking everything away from me! I just wanna go out for an hour and you won’t even let me do that. You’re ruining my life!”

“Oh for gods sake Peter, you really need to-”

“Oi, stop arguing” Loki said, standing up and pushing in between the two of them. “Tony, shut up. Peter, drink your tea”

Tony looked at the telly, and raised an eyebrow. “Bagpuss? Really?”

“Oh what, have you got a better idea?” Loki snapped. “I don’t see you helping”

“He won’t  _let_ me help! He’s barely letting  _you_ help!”

“Do you wanna know what isn’t helping? Starting an argument when he’s already so distressed” 

Tony stood up and stalked out. Loki shook his head and gave Peter a squeeze.

“Ignore him. Keep drinking your tea. Watch your video” 

Peter drank his tea. He was still crying, but not so much. Once he’d finished his tea, he flopped against the arm of the sofa, keeping his eyes on the telly. 

“I’m cold…”

Loki found him a teddy to hold, and wrapped him up in the big quilted blanket. He knelt down in front of the sofa.

“You’re allowed to talk to me, you know” he said, wiping the tears from the boys face.

“You wouldn’t understand”

“Try me”

Peter just stayed quiet. He was just starting to calm down. He didn’t need to start all over again. Loki sighed and kissed him on the nose. He stood up and retrieved his tea, and then sat down beside Peter. 

“I’ll be here if you change your mind”

-

Peter sat up.

“Do you think I might be bipolar?”

Loki glanced at him.

“It’s more like BPD, if anything at all”

“Isn’t that what you’ve got?”

“Peter, you’re scaremongering yourself. You’re just upset. It doesn’t really mean anything more than that”

“So it might just be the PTSD?”

“Maybe? Sweetheart, please, we don’t really need to be having this conversation. Being upset doesn’t mean you’re bipolar. I think you just need to rest and look after yourself. You’ll feel better if you make the effort”

“How do you know?”

“Experience”

-

Peter fell asleep for a few hours. He ended up giving in and letting Loki take care of him. He was fed and watered and he had a bath and got changed, and while he still felt empty inside, he felt much better. They went through to the kitchen and found Tony.

“I need to go out”

Tony sighed heavily. “Not this again”

“I need to go and see May”

Tony’s expression changed. He looked at Loki, and then back at Peter.

“Oh. Why didn’t you say?”

“You were so cross with me”

Tony sighed again. “Go and get your shoes on. We’ll all go”

“Can we stop at the florists first?”

“Of course”

-

Peter couldn’t shake the wobbly horrible feeling. He spent ages trying to choose in the florist, and Tony got impatient with him. Loki and the florist were very good about it though. Once they were back in the car on the way to the cemetery, Peter started to feel bad all over again.

-

Peter knelt in front of the grave. 

“She’ll be a skeleton by now, won’t she?”

No one answered him. He read the gold lettering on the headstone, and set the bouquet of flowers down on the grave. He looked at the flowers, and at all the old trinkets and cards and candles. He stared at everything, and tried hard to remember her. But nothing was coming to mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, and he could just about hear her voice - but that was it. 

He didn’t get it. He had a lifetime of memories stored away somewhere, but  _where_? He needed to think of something. Just one memory, one good memory, that was all he wanted. He tried to think of the things he knew they’d done together. She’d helped him before that disastrous school dance. She’d taken him on day trips. She’d been a big part of the Stark household on many occasions. He knew all of this, but for some reason, he couldn’t summon the memories. Something had to be wrong with him. He thought about Loki, just to test that theory - and his mind was filled with little clips of Loki reading to him, grabbing his collar to stop him from walking over the end of the pier, holding his hands and guiding him with a knife, teaching him how to make rhubarb crumble… He didn’t get it. He tried to think of May again, but he couldn’t conjure up the same kind of little video. And he hated it. 

“Peter?” Tony said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you ok?”

Peter stood up quickly, turning to them. He looked at them, mouth open, shaking his head.

“No. No, I’m not ok, and it’s all because of you!” 

“What? Peter-”

“No! Don’t touch me! This isn’t fair! This isn’t fair.. She should never have died. None of this should ever have happened! I can’t stand this!”

“Peter, sweetheart, I know” Tony said. “I know it’s not fair. But it was an  _accident_ , you know that. There was nothing anyone could have done”

“Then why did  _I_ survive?! Why aren’t  _I_ buried there instead?! What if I’d stayed in the kitchen? I could’ve saved her - or died with her. It’s not right. Do you even know how much I miss her? She should’ve come home with us that night. She should’ve been next to me in the car, don’t you  _see_?! We could’ve all four of us been together, that’s how it should be!”

“I know, I know. But you can’t blame yourself. You can’t blame yourself and start throwing what ifs and shoulds around. What’s done is done. We can’t change the past”

Peter knuckled his eyes. He felt sick. 

“You both loved her. I know I didn’t know about the sex thing until after she died, but I always knew you two loved her. I saw you messing about and hugging and kissing her face and stuff, and I liked it. I was happy! I want things to go back to how they were!” he sobbed. “I’m gonna end up forgetting her and it’s not fair, she deserved so much more than this!”

Tony tried to hug him, but he wouldn’t let him.

“I can’t do this any more! I want to be with her. I wish I was dead!”

“Don’t say that!” Tony grabbed him by the shoulders. “Don’t you ever say that!”

“Well why not?! It’s true!”

“No, it isn’t!”

“Yes, it is! How would you know?!”

“Because I’ve been there! You don’t really mean it”

Peter pushed his hands away. “I liked it back when there was four of us, and you were all like my parents. I liked it when we were round at yours, and I liked it when you came round to the flat and made it seem so much bigger, and we had so much fun and we were  _all_ happy! I didn’t even mind it when I got sent to bed before you went home, cos I just laid in bed and listened to the sound of you all talking and laughing together before I fell asleep, and it felt so warm and happy and good. Why did it have to stop?! I want to go  _back_! I want to be back in the every Wednesday and every second weekend arrangement. I want May back! I want my old life back! I’m so fed up of all this! I don’t wanna be a stupid little private school kid who can’t even speak at school! I want to be  _me_ again!”

“You  _are_ you! You’re just a different you” Tony said. “People reinvent themselves constantly. Look, I know it’s horrible. We still miss her too. We were happy when there were four of us too. But there  _isn’t_ now. It’s just me, and you, and Loki. We’re all you’ve got, kiddo. You’re going to have to accept that”

“Well I wish you weren’t! You’re ruining my life! May would never’ve taken everything away from me like you have! Sure, she freaked out a bit when she found out I was Spiderman, but she never tried to take the suit away, or lock me in the house, or have a go at me for having fun with my friends. She never tried to be something she wasn’t either. I hate you! You’re a sorry excuse for a father!”

Tony just sighed. “I get it, you’re upset, so you’re trying to upset me to make yourself feel better. But I’m sorry to say, kiddo, it doesn’t work like that. You can scream and shout all you want; it won’t change a thing. We’re looking after you. We’re your parents now, and we’re trying our best”

“Well your best isn’t good enough!”

“We’re not perfect” Loki said. “Neither was May. But we love you, and we want what’s best for you. And I know it’s really hard to see things from our point of view when you’re hurting this much”

Peter felt weak. He fell to his knees and covered his face with his hands. He felt sick and horrible. He looked at the grave out of the corner of his eye, and he just felt even worse. 

“Peter” Tony said gently. “It’s starting to rain. We should go”

“I don’t want to! I want to stay here” Peter cried. “You can go if you want. I’ll come back later”

“I don’t think it’s safe to leave you alone when you’re like this, especially not outside. Sweetheart, you need to come home with us now”

Peter didn’t move. He stayed as he was, feeling the rain beating down against his back. It had got very heavy very quickly. He became aware of someone kneeling down by him, and he glanced up.

“I know” Loki said. “I really do. But believe me, staying here anguishing and getting soaked won’t make you feel any better”

“D-do you remember when we all went to the seaside? And you and May were messing about on the pier singing The Blackpool Belle?”

“You nearly fell off the pier” Loki remembered. “We had to grab you, and you dropped your ice cream, so Tony bought you one with two flakes to make up for it”

Peter started crying all over again, and he held his arms out. Loki hugged him, and slowly stood up, lifting him into his arms as he did so.

“You sang as well, even though you didn’t know the words very well at all” Loki said as they started back towards the car. “You definitely knew all the words by the end of the day though”

“I don’t think I can do this any more…”

“Yes you can. You can do this” Loki said. “You’re the strongest out of all of us”

-

Peter kept hold of Loki’s arms as he was set down on the back seat.

“Can you stay with me?”

“If you’d like. Here, move into the middle”

Peter did as he was asked. Loki climbed into the car beside him, strapping both of them in. He put an arm round the boys shoulders, and the boy cuddled against him, closing his eyes.

Halfway home, Peter broke the silence.

“I’ve been thinking” he said thickly. “Were you and May in love? I think you might’ve been”

Loki was quiet for a moment, and then he smiled and gave the boy a squeeze.

“I think we might’ve been too”

-

Peter seemed a little better when they got home. Tony sat him down at the breakfast bar with a colouring book and set of coloured pencils, and Loki made him a big mug of tea. Tony leant against the kitchen unit, scrolling through his tablet. Loki watched them both for a while, and then took a risk and put the music player on. Peter seemed to freeze a little for a second or two, but he relaxed quickly, and Loki rather fancied he could see the memory playing in the boys head. It wasn’t long before Peter started, quite unintentionally, singing quietly under his breath.

“ _I remember - very well. All the happy gang aboard the Blackpool Belle. I remember them pals of mine, when I ride the Blackpool line. And the songs we sang together on the Blackpool Belle_ ”

-

Tony sat down beside Loki later that day after Peter had gone to bed.

“Hello darling” Loki said, not looking up. 

Tony read his book over his shoulder for a moment or two. 

“Hey, Lolly? I think we need to talk”

Loki paused. He closed his book and set it down on the arm of the sofa. 

“What, about Peter?”

“Yeah. I don’t think he’s coping”

“No” Loki agreed. “We both know he’s been very volatile ever since we lost May. He just feels some things so intensely. And we both know what that’s like”

“I just feel so helpless around him. He doesn’t like me right now”

“Yes, and we know why, don’t we?”

“I’m not giving him back the suit”

“Tony” Loki took hold of his hand. “He’s a mixed up little creature, and I think the reason he’s having these tantrums is because he hasn’t got any other outlet. Tony… Tony, remember when we first became friends? What was my situation?”

“I don’t know what you mean” Tony lied.

“Don’t lie to me. I know that you know. I was stuck in that flat day after day after day. I could only get out rarely, and only with my brother. I played up and did stupid things. Sound familiar?”

“Hey, you were just as cross as I was at the party” Tony said, pulling his hand back.

“Yes, but it was embarrassing, and it reflected badly on us - you, especially. That doesn’t mean I agree with the grounding. He didn’t get hurt on purpose”

“Are you forgetting the fact that he nearly died?”

“No, but you know as well as I do that that was a reaction to medication, and not as a result of his injuries” Loki stopped, and sighed heavily. “I know his injuries were bad. He’s still looking pretty torn up under his top. But it was an accident, we know that”

“We don’t need to let him fight crime. We’re supposed to keep him safe. He’ll be fine once he’s accepted it. Plus, you’ve always been really good at calming him down”

Loki sighed again. “Peter’s more similar to me than either of us care to think. You can calm both of us down with tea and blankets and hugs, and listening to The Houghton Weavers, or watching The Clangers, or whatever. But that doesn’t mean it’ll always work. Think about when I was in hospital. Things weren’t quite so effective back then, were they?”

“Don’t” Tony looked away. “I hate thinking about that time”

“That was an accident too” Loki pointed out. “We’ve had quite a few of those”

Tony glanced back at Loki, and pulled him close. “I love you too much to let you get hurt again. I just want to keep my family safe”

“So do I, but we’re going about it the wrong way”

“…He’s not even healed yet. They said the ribs take six weeks, and it’s only been about three. We shouldn’t even be talking about this until he’s ready. I’m surprised he even managed his little swimming play-about at the party”

“I don’t think he’s in so much pain anymore. They also said the ribs usually stop hurting after two weeks”

“You saw the state of the suit”

Loki pulled back. “I’m not in a position to dictate the suit. I just think we should lift the grounding. Even just letting him go down to the corner shop to grab a pint of milk will do him good. I think he needs to know that we trust him”

“I don’t want him to get hurt”

“You can’t wrap people in cotton wool and expect them not to get smothered”

Tony sighed and rested his forehead against Loki’s chest. “What do you think May would do if she were here?”

“Tell you not to be a prick and then probably knock our heads together”

Tony couldn’t help but laugh. “Ok, I can see that… Look, I don’t really believe in heaven, but if it was a thing, and she was watching, what would she think?”

“… Do you remember when we took Peter out for a walk that evening, and that guy on a BMX crashed into him and he sprained his wrist and hit his head on the curb? We both felt dreadful, didn’t we? Even though it was out of our control”

Tony nodded slowly. “It just came out of nowhere…”

“When we told May… She hugged us and she didn’t care that we hadn’t been able to stop it: she just thanked us for taking care of him and getting him the proper help. She knew we did our best”

Tony looked up. “She’d know, wouldn’t she? If she could see us, she’d know we were doing our best… wouldn’t she?”

Loki nodded, and smiled sadly. “She knew we always wanted the best for him”

“I miss her…” Tony swallowed hard, closing his eyes. “I just felt so, sick. I really thought it’d be someone else, but it was  _her_ , and I just… I couldn’t process it. But I just remember walking back down that corridor feeling like nothing was real, and wondering how the hell I could look after him on my own. The look on his face when we had to tell him…”

“But you didn’t have to do it alone”

“No… Not all of it… Oh Loki, how could you walk out on him like that?”

“We’ve been through this before” Loki said. “I’d hurt him enough as it was, and myself. I had to go. I went with good intentions”

“…I still don’t know what I’m doing. I never expected to be a dad. And all those parenting books are about toddlers, not teenagers. I don’t know. It’s just so hard sometimes” 

Loki put his arms round him. “You can’t just focus on the bad stuff. You know it’s not always hard. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, he’s a fairly easy kiddie to deal with”

“When did you start being so positive?” Tony grumbled. “This is rubbish”

“Well yes, but what else did you expect? Tony, you know how health works. You know about downfalls and relapses and little sicknesses that pop up out of nowhere. You know how fast things u-turn in this house”

Tony pulled back. “I just want him to be happy”

“He is, mostly. We both know you can hurt and be happy at the same time” 

Tony put his arms round Loki’s neck, kissed the apple of his cheek, and hugged him tight.

“I’m so glad I’m not doing this without you”

“You’d manage without me. Even when you’re arguing, you’re still his favourite” 

“I don’t know about that” Tony kissed Loki’s neck gently. “Just promise me something”

“What?”

“Don’t go off on another sabbatical any time soon”

*


	11. Vicious, Suspicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated for a million years. I've got a new job and I'm drained and depressed and haven't gotten round to writing much lately. Hopefully this chapter is alright! Thanks to anyone still about to read this

-

“Peter?” Loki said. “There’s someone here to see you”

Peter stayed where he lay on the sofa, but he opened his eyes. The Someone came into view. Someone with long, blonde, almost white hair, and cornflower blue eyes. 

“Flo?!” Peter sat up quickly. “What are you doing here?!”

Flo giggled. “Your father said you were feeling lonely and wondered if I’d like to come round for a bit - and I did, so here I am!” 

She sat down beside him and hugged him tight. 

“I’ll leave you to it” Loki said, and he did.

Flo looked at Peter. "Are you ok? You’re crying!”

“I just didn’t realise how much I missed you!”

Flo took his face in her hands and kissed him. Peter was all too happy to kiss her back. 

“You’re so sweet” Flo said in between kisses. “I’m so glad you’re healing well. I was so worried when I heard about the accident”

“I’m fine” 

“Good” She kissed him again, harder this time. “I love you”

“I love you too”

-

As Peter lay in bed with Flo’s arms round him, suddenly everything felt a little less heavy.

“I wish you weren’t so sad all the time. You’ve been sad since the day we met”

“Sometimes I’m not quite so sad… But it’s so hard to stop being sad. Something just comes along and pushes you into a pit and you can’t get out of it. It’s so hard to feel ok again”

“I wish I knew what it was like”

“Don’t be silly: no you don’t”

“Yes I do” Flo insisted. “Because then I’d be better able to help you”

Peter sighed and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against her shoulder. Flo stroked his hair gently.

“Can I ask you something? Or rather, mention something?”

“Sure…”

“When it’s just you and me together, you don’t use the whiteboard”

Peter was quiet for a moment, thinking. She was right. 

“I didn’t really notice… I must feel… safe. With you, I mean”

“I was reading about your condition recently. I think people think it’s a choice, because they can’t understand it. But it’s not a choice, is it?”

“No… It’s like, you physically can’t speak. It’s really hard to describe. Dad thinks I’ll never speak at school, but other dad says I just need the right therapy”

“What do you think?”

Peter thought for a moment. “I wouldn’t mind never speaking at school. I don’t mind the white board and all that stuff. People are used to me now anyway. If they weren’t, maybe I’d mind. I don’t know. I don’t think speaking is all that important. Not where school is concerned”

He moved back a little, looking at her. She looked back, looking into his eyes. 

“You know I’m always just on the other end of the phone if you need me”

“I know”

-

“Oh dear” Tony said, pulling Peter close for a cuddle. “I don’t think that visit had the desired effect”

Peter just held onto him and cried.

“He’s just sad she had to go” Loki said, coming over and hugging them both. “Poor little thing”

“What are we gonna do with you, eh?” Tony sighed. 

Loki gave Tony a squeeze. “Don’t look so worried. He’ll be alright in a minute”

-

“What do you want to do now, Peter?” Loki asked once the boy had stopped crying. 

“… I want to go to the library”

-

Ms Abbott, Peter’s old librarian friend, was delighted to see him again after so long. She made a big fuss of him, pinching his cheeks and tickling him under the chin, asking him how he was and what he’d been doing and saying how pleased she was to see him. 

She eventually had to let him go to assist someone at the desk. Peter gave her a last hug and wandered off to find something to read. He spent a long time circling the shelves, not quite sure what he fancied.

He jumped violently when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and spun round.

“Liz! You’ve gotta stop making me jump like that”

“Sorry” Liz smiled. “Fancy seeing you here!”

“I think  _I’m_ the one who should be surprised - and I am!” Peter said. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to get away for a bit. What are  _you_ doing here? I thought you were still grounded”

“Oh. Yeah, not anymore. They weren’t happy about the other night even so”

“I could tell! You were pretty brief in your texts. Did you get into lots of trouble?”

“Um” Peter paused for a moment. “Well, it could’ve been worse. But hey, that was probably the best of those parties I’ve been to, so it was worth it whatever”

“Really? I’m still certain that old house is haunted! It’s probably one of the worst events _I’ve_  ever been to!”

“You should swap places with me for a bit. Honestly, some of the things I get dragged to are truly dreadful. You wouldn’t even believe how boring they are”

Liz giggled. “You’ve gotten so funny, you know”

Peter looked at her for a moment. “Do you wanna go upstairs? We’re more free to talk up in the cafe”

-

At the back of his mind, Peter couldn’t help but be surprised at just how well he and Liz were getting on. It was like they were best friends. The party had been a laugh, but they’d been scared stiff for a good portion of the night, and they hadn’t spent  _that_ much time catching up, because Ali and Evangeline had been with them the majority of the time. Maybe the events of that night had lead to a kind of solidarity - an understanding through mutual experience. Now it was just the two of them together (not counting an old couple at the far table in the cafe and the person behind the counter). 

“I don’t want to sound insensitive, but can I ask you something? About that web page?”

“Oh” Peter put his mug down. “Sure”

“Why can you talk to me, but not Alison?”

“Oh… I don’t know. I spoke a little bit when I first looked round St Hendricks, but I’ve never spoken there since I’ve been going to the school. Well, uh, y’know I mentioned Loki went away? Well, he came to pick me up when he got back, and I shouted his name, but that’s it. I can’t speak in school. So maybe it’s because that’s where I met her”

“But those girls you’re close to, you have them round to yours sometimes, don’t you? Do you speak then?”

Peter nodded slowly. “I still use the white board and stuff with Macy and Millie outside of school a bit, though. But not when it’s just me and Flo”

“But why?”

Peter shrugged. “I wish I had an answer for you. I really don’t know. I’ve had people tell me I’m just being rude when I don’t speak to them, but it’s not like I  _choose_  to: I just physically can’t”

“So what determines if you can speak to people? Is it a trust thing?”

“It can’t be, because I trust Malaki, but I can’t speak to him. And sometimes I can talk to people dad introduces me to with no problem, but other times I can’t. I don’t really understand it. I’ve talked about it a bit with that therapist I see- oh. Oh, that’s a thing, I’ve always been able to talk to her, even though I see her at school”

“It’s such a weird condition” Liz said, and then quickly added: “No offence!”

“None taken” Peter picked up his mug again. “I don’t understand it, and no one else seems to either. Dad said it’s different in my case, because it presents differently when it’s a PTSD thing… It was never anywhere near being the biggest problem I had after May died, so I suppose they thought they’d leave treating it till later, and it got a bit mixed up. I don’t know. It’s just a theory”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Liz asked. “I mean, don’t you get upset about it sometimes?”

Peter smiled slightly. “You know, I was having a similar conversation this morning with Flo” he shook his head. “I don’t really care when it comes to school. I think, if I couldn’t talk to my dads and uncle Thor, then I’d be really upset about it, but I can, so I’m not. I think it annoys dad a lot more than it annoys me. He can get really funny about it sometimes”

“What, Loki, or..?”

Peter shook his head. “No, other dad. Daddy Loki is really good about it. I think he understands better. But dad… I don’t think he understands quite so well. And I think it embarrasses him a bit”

“Does he say that?”

“Not exactly” Peter said, shifting uncomfortably. “He just gets funny about it sometimes. Usually at those stupid parties. He’ll like, I don’t know, ask me if I’ve got anything to say while he’s introducing someone, and like, try to pressure me into speaking, and telling them I’m just shy, which just makes it even worse. And then he gets cross with me”

“Surely he’s read about it though?”

“Probably? I don’t know”

“It’s not fair for him to get cross with you. Do you get into trouble for it?”

“… Rarely. Once this guy that I met ages ago, before the accident, he came over during one of those parties and he got a bit offended because I couldn’t speak, and dad got cross and he kinda took me out to the corridor and told me I was just trying my luck. He kinda grabbed hold of my face and told me to stop being stupid and to just use my words. Only daddy Loki saw all of this and then they got into an argument and I ended up being rescued by Pepper. She shut them up, but dad had already lost anyway”

Peter saw the look on Liz’s face.

“Oh no, you must think he’s a monster. Maybe I shouldn’t’ve told you that” he said nervously.

“No, no, I don’t!” Liz insisted. “I suppose it’s just funny when you hear about celebrities acting like… real people”

“Yeah… he’s not perfect, but he does his best. He’s a lot better than he was about the whole mute thing. That story was like, quite a while ago. He doesn’t tease me about it any more, but I think he just tries to avoid talking about it altogether. Kinda leaves it to other people”

“Oh, doctors?”

“Not exactly. I’m not seeing anyone about it. My social worker says we should think about seeing a speech and language therapist, but it keeps getting forgotten about, cos they’re both so busy, and priorities change and stuff, and I don’t really do a good job of reminding them either”

“Well, that’s up to you, isn’t it?” she was quiet for a moment or two. “I wonder how they manage it all. Even one look at the papers shows how busy Tony is, and I know Loki does stuff too”

“You’re not the first person to have doubts” Peter said, kindly enough. “They try to hide the tabloids from me, but I’ve still seen some articles questioning if they’re fit parents and all that rubbish”

“Does it upset you?”

“Yeah, cos it’s all bollocks. It’s always those papers that just take names and an out of context photo and make up all sorts of stories. If they use a photo of me, dad threatens to sue and it gets pulled pretty quickly, but I’ve seen a lot of the surviving ones”

“Wow.. I don’t really keep up with celebrity gossip. What kind of stuff do they write?”

“Oh, just rubbish, mainly. There was one ages ago, way before the accident, where they got a picture that looked like dad was kinda manhandling me, and I had a black eye, but that was from something that happened a couple of days before, and he was grabbing my arm because I nearly walked out in front of a motorbike, and so I looked kinda shocked. And so this headline went out online, and it was something like: ‘Tony Stark Abusing Apprentice!’, and it was just pure slander. I thought it was kind of funny, but dad didn’t, and Loki picked up the phone that time, and it got taken down within the hour”

“That’s incredible. The paparazzi really are scum, aren’t they? Has he ever actually sued anyone, or are the threats enough?”

“Usually the threats are enough. He’s sued a few though. There was one, back when daddy was in hospital. Some reporter had snuck through and even though he didn’t get to him, he got a photo of other dad hugging the nurse, which they used for an affair story, and another one of him and me where we were both crying, and, oh my god, I’ve never seen him so angry before or since when those were published. The paper didn’t respond to the threat, so he passed it on to his legal team and sued them”

“Like I said, scum. There’s so many things you could sue them for there. It’s disgusting, it really is”

“I know right? I never really thought about the papers much before I knew the Stark’s, but now they never cease to amaze me, some of the things they do” he shook his head, and had a drink to try to calm himself down. “You know, recently - fairly recently, anyway - they got a picture of dad at the hospital. He was wearing scrubs, yknow, and he was like, sat against the wall in an operating theatre kinda thing, and he was kinda covered in blood, yknow, and he was kinda covering his face with one arm, and holding this tiny baby in the other arm, and some of the things they said about him! They tried to turn him into a criminal, and used it towards another one of those Unfit Parent articles”

“What had happened?? Was he hurt?”

“Not physically. I can’t remember the full story, but it was some kind of traumatic labour. I think the mother nearly died. I don’t know, all that labour and pregnancy stuff gives me the shudders. But like, that got published in a magazine, the photo and this bollocks article, and it was horrible. Daddy cried when he saw it, and then other dad cried too, cos he can’t stand daddy crying, and then  _I_ cried cos it was all scary and horrible, and then-… well, they got sued anyway. Dad helped the babies family, yknow, the one in the photo? He helped them sue as well, so that magazine had no chance”

“It’s incredible what people will do just to make a quick buck” Liz said dumbly, unsure what else to say. “I don’t even know how to react… How did they get the photo?”

“They think one of the locums that day sold the photo, but I don’t think they ever found out…”

They both went quiet, finishing their drinks. Peter then cleared his throat and sat up straight.

“Sorry, that got really heavy just then. We could talk about something else? Or…”

“Or what?” Liz asked.

Peter looked at her. “Do you wanna meet a celebrity?”

-

Peter started feeling a little funny as they got nearer the house, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“Peter? Are you ok?”

“Hm? Oh… I guess I just feel a little nervous. Uhh… I guess I’m just kinda nervous about what you’ll make of them”

Liz took hold of his hand. “Your dad’s are celebrities. Everyone loves Tony Stark - me included! Don’t be so nervous”

Peter squeezed her hand gratefully. “Thanks”

-

The house was quiet when they came in the front door. Liz tore her eyes away from the chandelier in the foyer.

“Should I take my shoes off?” she asked. 

“You can keep them on, it’s fine”

“Are you sure your parents won’t mind?” 

“They probably won’t even notice” Peter said. “Um, I’m not really sure where they are…” 

“Well, your house is amazing. I don’t really know what I expected” 

“It’s pretty cool, I guess. I’m kinda used to it now. Let’s go upstairs, get a drink or something”

“Ok. Peter, are you parents actually here?”

“I  _think_ so” Peter said. “At least, they didn’t tell me otherwise. We’ll see if we can find them”

-

They went upstairs to the kitchen, and found Loki putting the kettle on. 

“Hey dad!”

Loki spun round. “Hello sweetheart”

Peter bounded up to him and Loki gave him a big hug and kissed him hard on the cheek.

“Who’s your friend?”

Peter stepped back, looking over his shoulder.

“This is Liz”

“Hello” Loki said. “You’re one of the ghost-busters from that party, aren’t you?”

Liz couldn’t help feeling a bit embarrassed. “Hi…”

“Don’t look so nervous: I don’t bite. Usually” Loki said, turning back to the kettle. “Are you after a drink?”

“We were just gonna get something cold” Peter said, opening the fridge and grabbing a couple of bottles of pop. 

“Go and put your coat down” Loki said. “And take your shoes off”

-

Liz couldn’t help giggling when they went off to Peter’s room to put their coats and shoes down. 

“I thought you said they wouldn’t mind!”

“They never usually say anything” Peter sighed, chucking his coat down on the bed and kicking his shoes off. 

“Maybe he’s trying to keep up appearances or something” Liz said.

“Maybe. It’s more likely that he said it to wind me up. How about we go and wind  _him_ up?”

“Is that wise?”

“Hey, he’s my dad: I know the boundaries”

“Well, if you’re sure! I’ve never had the chance to talk to a god before!”

-

Loki was settled quite happily in an armchair with his book and a cup of tea when Peter and Liz appeared. He glanced up at them.

“Hello”

“Hey dad”

Peter went and climbed onto his lap.

“Watch my tea, numpty!”

“What are you reading?”

“Nothing you’d be interested in” 

Loki paused, and then closed his book and set it aside. He gave Peter a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Some space would be nice, chick”

Peter slipped off his lap and went and flopped on the sofa opposite the armchair. Liz joined him.

“How can I help you?”

“Where’s dad?”

“Down in the lab, and don’t you go disturbing him” Loki said firmly. “He’s working”

“Ok, we’ll stay here” Peter said. 

Loki couldn’t help smiling at him. “Sure thing, kiddo. So, Liz. I gather that party wasn’t the first time you met. How do you two know each other?”

“We went to Midtown together, but I moved away. We didn’t stay in touch”

“It was before I’d even met you, dad” Peter said in response to the look he gave him. “We bumped into each other that day we went high street shopping” 

“Oh, I see” Loki said. “You saw each other again at that party. Did you lie to me today, then?”

“No! No, I  _did_ go to the library. We bumped into each other there” Peter said. “And then we had something to eat, and then we came back here. We’ve been talking”

“Oh, I see”

“We talked about you a bit, actually” Liz said hesitantly. “About your volunteering and things like that”

“Oh, point of interest, am I?” Loki said, but he smiled. “You have some questions; I can tell”

Liz looked at Peter. 

“He won’t get cross” Peter said. 

“Now that I’m here, I don’t really know what to ask” Liz said awkwardly. “There’s so many things I could ask about”

“Fire away” Loki said, stirring his tea. “I’ll answer most things”

Liz thought for a moment. “I know you volunteer at the hospital. Do you do it a lot?”

“Much more now than I used to. I took a break for a while, the year I first met Peter. Health stuff. But I’ve been much more into it lately, bar a few blips”

“Blips?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, I had a few hiatuses, shall we say. While I was in hospital and then recovering afterwards, obviously I wasn’t there. I went away for a while doing things abroad not all that long ago too, so I wasn’t there. And of course I’ve had breaks for other reasons, like getting married, and looking after Peter”

“I don’t need looking after”

“You most certainly do” Loki said. “Don’t let him fool you, Liz: he’s not so strong as he likes to make out”

Peter rolled his eyes at him. “Don’t listen to him, Liz: he just likes to baby me”

Liz just smiled. “Well, I suppose he’s had plenty of practice, considering the volunteering. So, Mr Stark, was the work abroad with babies too?”

“A little bit, yes” Loki said. “My longest placement was older children mostly, although there were a few tiny ones there. I’ve definitely had plenty of practice and experience just from that little placement. It felt like much longer than it actually was”

“I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I did have a thought earlier, after Peter told me about a photo of you from the hospital that ended up in the papers”

“Ah” Loki stopped, lowering his mug. “I know which one you mean. The theatre one?”

Liz nodded. “Yes. I don’t want to sound rude or like I’m doubting you, but I did wonder, how you’re allowed to do all of the gritty stuff”

“I do a lot more now than I did right at the start, and I’ve learnt a lot and I’ve come a long way since then”

“But how did you get into it?”

“Tony helped” Loki nodded. “At the start. And then I built my own little reputation after a while. It’s been a long road”

“But you go into theatre?”

“Yes, I do sometimes, and I do some clinical things. I’m a pair of helping hands more than an actual member of staff, although it’s a bit of a hazy area”

“I can understand some of the volunteering things” Liz said. “But why are you allowed to do clinical?

“I’m not just some random off the street” Loki said, smiling. “I may not technically be practising - as in, I’m not on the payroll - but I am qualified as a nurse”

“What, since when?!” Peter exclaimed before Liz had a chance to respond.

“Inside voices, please” Loki laughed. “I qualified ages ago, and I’ve got some other bits and bobs knocking about, qualification wise”

“How did I not know this?!”

“Because you’re about as observant as a teaspoon?” Loki suggested, and shook his head. “I suppose it’s never been relevant to you”

“This is wild” Peter said. “But also kinda cool”

“Thank you? Be quiet, chick” Loki said. “I volunteer, as you know. I spend much more time talking to people than sticking needles into them anyway”

“Your face, Peter!” Liz giggled. “You looked so shocked”

“I’m just surprised!” Peter insisted. “I never really thought about it properly: dad and the hospital have just been a fact of life”

“Definitely as observant as a teaspoon” A voice sounded from the doorway.

They all looked round, and Peter grinned, jumping up. 

“Dad!”

Tony gathered him up into his arms. 

“Ooh, you’re so squeezable” Tony said, squeezing him tight. He looked over at Liz. “Ah, I recognise you. You were causing trouble at that party, weren’t you?”

“Dad!” 

“I’m just teasing” Tony smiled. “It’s Liz, right?”

Liz nodded. “It’s good to meet you, sir”

“Tony’s fine” Tony said, releasing Peter. “Oh dear, I seem to have got motor oil on you. Never mind”

“Worse things have happened at sea” Peter said, sitting back down beside Liz. “Should I have texted you first?”

“Hm? No, no, you’re fine, both of you” he went and sat down on the arm of Loki’s chair. “Are you being interviewed?”

“We’ve just found out little Peter Rabbit over there didn’t know I had qualifications” 

“Yes, I caught that bit” Tony said, kissing Loki on the temple. “Doing a project, are you, kids?”

“We were just makin’ conversation” Peter said. “You know”

“I know. Why don’t you go and hang out in your room for a bit or something?” Tony suggested. “Daddy and I have got some things to discuss”

“That sounds ominous” Peter said, raising an eyebrow. “Is it anything I need to worry about?”

“No; it’s just grown-up stuff. Go play”

Peter looked at Liz.

“We should do as we’re told”

-

Liz took the opportunity to have a proper look at Peter’s room. Peter was just glad he’d tidied his room recently. 

“This elephant is… huge”

“I know right. The price tag was as well!” 

Peter went and stood next to her, touching the elephants head gently.

“I didn’t know you liked elephants so much”

“Well. They’re not my favourite. I never really thought about them much. It was a present”

“Oh. Who from?”

“Daddy Loki” Peter answered. “It was when he got back, after he’d been away, he got it for me. He said elephants never forget so I can tell it all my problems when I’m sad”

“Oh, that’s cute” Liz said. “Do you… do you do it?”

“Sometimes” Peter admitted. “It’s kinda comforting. He’s kinda nice to have around when I’m feeling lonely”

Liz squeezed his hand. “Does he have a name?”

“No. People have suggested things, but he’s just always stayed as Elephant”

“I didn’t expect you to have cuddly toys, really”

“Well, the elephant’s more of an ornament” 

“Yes, but I mean the other toys too” Liz said, going over to the bed and picking up his old seal. “It’s quite endearing”

“You just think I’m a baby” Peter said, sitting down on the bed.

“I didn’t say that!”

“You thought it though” 

“I didn’t!”

“I don’t mind even if you did” Peter said. “I  _am_ a baby. But if you take a walk round the house you’ll see I’m not the only one with cuddly toys”

“I’ve still got a teddy as well. My grandma has too. You’re never too old for them” Liz said, feeling like she may have inadvertently upset Peter. “… I don’t think you’re a baby”

Peter lay back against the pillows. Liz paused, and then lay down beside him, the seal still in her hands.

“Have they all got stories behind them?”

“Most of the ones in here do. Not so much for the ones in the rest of the house: they tend to just be things my parents saw and liked”

“Can you tell me?”

Peter thought for a moment. “Well, you know the elephant. That penguin and bear over there were presents from my friends, and so was this kangaroo… I first met daddy Loki because I was spending the summer here while my aunt was away, and anyway, we went to England on holiday for a few weeks. Daddy Loki bought me the Peter Rabbit, and he still calls me that sometimes. Anyway, on that same holiday we went on this boat trip where we saw seals, and I asked for a pet seal. So dad bought me that seal” 

“Cute! It’s so funny to think you’ve got an entire life with them. You know, it’s such a funny thought: I’m in a celebrities house!”

Peter couldn’t help but giggle too. “I forget all the time! Even that first summer, I used to forget. We became a family so quickly that summer, and then  _after_ that summer, daddy Loki got to know my aunt too, and then all four of us became a proper family. It was… It was really good”

Liz looked at him. “You must really miss her”

“I do, but it’s getting easier. It’s been more than a year now, and it feels more like five”

“So, if the Stark’s were close to her as well, did that make grieving easier?”

“Well, no. But it was reassuring knowing that they knew exactly what I’d lost. It was horrible, but I suppose there was a kind of solidarity, because all of us were mourning… I always have someone to go to if I want to talk about her and share memories, though. That’s kinda nice… Why are you so interested in all of this?”

“I don’t know” Liz shrugged, and turned onto her side. “Morbid curiosity, perhaps?”

Peter smiled. “Yeah, I get that. You should’ve heard some of the things I asked when I first met Loki!”

“I’m sure I can imagine… Peter?”

“Hm?” Peter looked at her, and turned onto his side to face her. “Are you ok? You look sad”

“When I go back home, can we stay in touch? I know I live on the other side of the country now, but… We can still be friends long-distance, can’t we?”

“Sure… I mean if we put the effort in, we can. You’ve got my number now, and there’s always Skype and stuff like that… You don’t want to go back, do you?”

“Not really” Liz admitted. “I’ve got friends and a life in Oregon now, but it’s been kinda nice being back here. Seeing all the places I used to hang out and seeing some old friends… I’ve liked getting to know you as well”

“I’ve liked it too. If we don’t count that party, and if we don’t count this morning, you’re the only friendly face I’ve seen since I last got out of hospital. Even if it’s just been a few times”

Liz found Peter’s hand and held it. “I’m gonna be here for a while yet. Since you’re not grounded anymore, we could keep meeting up? There’s a whole load of places we can go, and that big fair is coming next week”

“That’d be cool” Peter said. “I’m free a lot at the moment, so you can message me any time”

“…You’ll really stay in touch when I go back home, won’t you?”

“Sure. You’ll have to leave me your address, and then we can write to each other. We could do those penpal letters you see on Instagram with all the clippings and pressed flowers and little badges from farmers markets and stuff”

Liz smiled. “I’d like that”

“Me too… It’s kinda nice talking to someone who knew me before I was here full time. You know?”

“I know… You and Ned, you’re not friends anymore? He acted a bit funny when I asked for your number”

“I’m surprised he still had it” Peter sighed. “He stayed in touch for quite a while after the accident. I didn’t reply very often but I liked hearing from him. Eventually I asked to meet up, and we did, and I thought it’d be fine, but it wasn’t. I was really upset about it for a while. He left really quite quickly, and he didn’t message me after that”

“That’s rough. Do you still think about it?”

“Not so much now” Peter said. “I really minded at first, but I had other things to focus on. I’m not upset about it anymore. I’ve got other friends, and I’ve still got some good memories of stuff me and Ned did. It’s not that important that he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore”

Liz lifted a hand and stroked Peter’s cheek gently. 

“Midtown feels like a different lifetime, doesn’t it?”

“Definitely” Peter said. “Daddy always used to say people live so many different lives within their lives, and it’s easy to get disconnected from the past ones. I always believed him but I didn’t always know what it was like”

“People change so often too”

They were interrupted by the sound of the front door bell. Peter sat up. 

“Peter, can you get the door?” Tony called from down the corridor.

Peter looked at Liz. “I’d better get that”

-

Liz went downstairs with Peter. Peter opened the door, and blinked in surprise.

“Flo?! What are you doing here?”

“You’ll give me deja vu!” Flo giggled. “Well, I felt bad about having to leave so prematurely earlier, and I thought I’d pop round again. And a brought you these!”

She produced a huge box of Lindt chocolates.

“Oh wow, thank you!” Peter said. “Hey, uh, you should come in: it’s kinda cold”

Flo did as she was asked, and Peter pushed the door closed. Flo spotted Liz, who was stood close by, watching her.

“You’re beautiful!” Liz said, looking at her lovely long hair and gentle features and cute little lace dress.

Flo blushed and giggled. “Aw, thank you! You’re very pretty too!”

Peter smiled at them, glad to see they’d hit it off on the right foot. 

“Um, Liz, this is Flo. Flo, this is Liz”

“Hi Liz. I didn’t know you were here, otherwise I would have phoned ahead. I hope I’m not intruding”

“No, of course not! Uhh, Peter’s told me a bit about you”

“Oh! Well-”

They stopped as Loki appeared. 

“Flo, darling, you shouldn’t have” he said, taking the box of chocolates from her.

“Hey! Dad!” Peter protested indignantly.

“Oh, don’t look so shocked: you know I’m only teasing” Loki said, bopping him on the head with the box and setting it down on the bureau behind them. “Flo, is that Snoopy on your necklace?”

“Hm? Oh yes, it’s new!” Flo said, stepping closer to him so he could see better.

Loki took the charm in his hand, admiring it. “My, how lovely. I definitely approve. I’m almost tempted to buy one for myself”

“I can give you the website” Flo said. 

Liz watched them, unsure what to think. Loki gave Flo a quick hug.

“You’ll have to excuse me: I’ve got something to find” he said, and disappeared through a door on the other side of the foyer.

“Flo fancies him” Peter said once he was out of sight.

“Peter!! Don’t go  _telling_ everyone!” Flo squealed, grabbing hold of him.

“Everyone already knows anyway” Peter said. “You fancy the whole household, just a little bit”

“You’re such a goon, did you know?” she said, but she grinned and kissed him hard on the lips. “He’s a goon, isn’t he, Liz?”

“He’s certainly something!”

Peter shook his head. “Come on; let’s go upstairs. We can talk”

*


	12. Playground

-

Liz soon grew comfortable around Flo. Peter obviously thought a lot of her, and she could see why. Flo was obviously very posh, but she wasn’t at all snobby. Liz had worried at first that she might be a bit high and mighty and look down her nose at her, so it was a nice surprise finding that she was so genuinely nice and easy to get along with. 

They spent such long time talking, it felt as though the three of them had been friends forever. After a while, they decided they should get up and do something, and the pool sounded like the perfect option, so they went off to find the grown-ups so Peter could ask for permission.

-

They found Loki and Tony in the second sitting room, cuddled up close on the love seat, arms round each other, kissing deeply. Peter rolled his eyes, gestured to the girls to keep quiet, and then jumped at his parents, forcing himself between them and making them break apart.

Tony just laughed. “What are you doing, chick?”

“Interrupting, what does it look like?”

Loki laughed too, pulling the boy onto his lap and squeezing him tight, kissing him hard on the cheek.

“You just want a bit of attention, don’t you, sweetie?”

Peter grinned up at him. Tony joined in the hug, kissing his other cheek. 

Liz couldn’t help staring at them, a hot feeling in her chest. She’d seen the way Loki and Tony had kissed, and she saw the way they were looking at each other. She watched them as they hugged Peter and laughed with him, and she saw the way Peter cuddled up to them and acted like a silly kid. They looked so happy together, and everything seemed to make so much more sense now. 

Flo saw the way Liz was looking at them, and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“Anyway, I take it you had a reason for coming in here, other than to interrupt us” Tony said. “Is everything ok?”

Peter nodded, looking over at the girls. “We were just getting a bit bored, I think. Can we go down to the pool?”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Tony said, glancing at Loki. “You’re still pretty cut up under your shirt, and still pretty weak into the bargain too”

“If you think you’re up to it, I don’t mind” Loki said slowly. “But behave yourself, and go gentle. No rough play”

Peter nodded. “So... Is that a yes?”

Tony nodded. “Sure, that’s a yes. But be good, and don’t get silly”

-

It wasn’t till they were back in Peter’s room that Liz suddenly realised she had a problem.

“I haven’t got any swim things with me!” she said. “And I don’t think I could have a repeat of what we did at that party, either”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that” Flo said, smiling at her. “I’ve got a costume you can borrow”

“You came prepared..?”

Flo shook her head. “I’ve got a couple here. Or, I’m sure Peter has some if they aren’t to your taste”

“I don’t have girls swim stuff” Peter said. “Only the stuff you and the others leave here”

Flo opened one of the drawers of the dresser. “I’ve only got two-pieces here. I hope that’s ok?”

“Yeah... Are you sure they’ll fit me? I don’t think we’re the same size..”

“Oh nonsense, of course they will! You’re taller, and I’m broader, so I guess it evens out”

“You can hardly be described as  _broad_!”

Flo just giggled, handing one swim set to her. “This one will suit you”

Liz took it gratefully, and then looked at Peter. “Um...”

“What?” Peter blinked at her. “There’s towels down in the cubicles, don’t worry. So. Shall we?”

-

Liz couldn’t help being impressed by the proper little changing room downstairs - and mightily relieved, because she wasn’t too sure about getting changed under a towel in front of the other two. 

Peter was fastest getting changed, and spent a few minutes folding and re-folding towels on the bench outside the cubicles, trying to seem busy. Liz was next to emerge from her cubicle, kitted out in a very cute little black swim skirt with a matching bikini top.

“Aw, you look cute!” Peter said. “It suits you”

“Thanks” Liz smiled, blushing. “I’ve never had a swim  _skirt_ before. I didn’t really know they were a thing”

“They’re cute though, aren’t they? I think I’d like one if I were a girl”

“Why not wear one now?” Liz teased, and then had a proper look at him. “Your cuts are looking better”

Peter glanced down at himself. “Yeah, they’re getting there. You should’ve seen them right after the accident! It was pretty scary. They were still pretty scary after they’d been cleaned. Sometimes I can kinda see why dad made such a stupid fuss about it”

Liz didn’t have time to respond, because the clunk of the lock to Flo’s cubicle distracted her.

“Sorry I took so long: one of the hooks on my bra is all bent and it was a bit of a struggle undoing it!” she said.

She was wearing a little white bikini with a lace overlay. 

“You look so cute!” Liz said. “Where did you get that?”

“Hm? Oh, my aunt made it! She’s a swimwear designer and she makes me little things with off-cuts of material, and this was one of them!”

“That’s so cool! Does she often make you things?”

“Lots! I’ve got so many swimsuits, you wouldn’t believe - and the less said about sarongs and sunhats, the better! I love her things, but I don’t go swimming often enough to really use everything”

“Did she make the one I’m wearing?”

“Yes. It was originally supposed to be a swim dress, but she made a mistake on the middle material, so she just snipped it out and made it a dress and bikini top instead”

“You know I love changing room talks as much as the next person” Peter interrupted. “But shall we go through?”

“Sorry...”

“Aw, don’t apologise, Liz!” Flo said. “He’s just itching the jump in and have a swim! He’s a water baby, you know”

Peter squeezed Liz’s hand. “Why don’t we shower first? Then we can go down the slide first”

“You’ve got a slide?”

“We’ve got a few! I hardly ever get to use them, ‘cos like I said the other day, usually if I’m down here I’ve got dad breathing down my neck making me train”

“I sometimes forget how rich you are”

“How rich  _dad_ is. I know, it’s insane!” Peter shook his head. “I forget sometimes too. Honestly though, this pool is what having money is about, I think. Wait till you see the fun stuff: it’s like a proper leisure pool you’d go to on a day out”

“ _Now_ who’s delaying us with idle chatter?” Flo said, shaking her head fondly. “Come on: shower, and slide. Sounds like a plan to me!”

-

The Stark’s pool was incredible. Liz couldn’t help being amazed, both by the pool itself, and by the fact that it existed in someones  _house_. It seemed like something that could be a bit of a waste - but at least not while she was here. It was huge, and seemed to extend back for miles. Right at the front it looked like a regular pool, and was obviously where Peter had to train. But beyond that, the shape changed, and it was also indescribable. It was like an adventure park in a pool. There was a little hot tub type pool on one side, on a raised platform, but it paled in comparison to everything else. There seemed to be a big wall, but the pool extended through a big tunnel-type structure, made to look like rock, although Liz couldn’t see how far back it went. Looking up, she could see the big metal tube of the big slide. She was so busy taking in the first view that Peter made her jump when he spoke.

“It’s better if we go round to the side. Then we can go up to the big slide, and it takes you down to the other bit of the pool. It’s the fun bit, I suppose”

“How big  _is_ this pool?” Liz asked as they walked round to the side.

“Huge. Honestly, it’s actually a bit ridiculous. It’s massive, but the other side is just so good. I’m fed up with competitive swimming, but I’m still happy to do fun swimming. And even if I wasn’t, I think this would change my mind. Seriously, I swear I notice something different every time I come down here. Which just shows how often I use it”

“Isn’t it boring on your own? Or do you parents come down too?”

“Well. Before I was on the swim team, me and dad used to play down here, and that was fun. Daddy usually just stayed in the hot tub. May used to love it too. We carved out names onto one of the walls somewhere... It’s fun down here on my own too. And I’ve got the bunnies now, so we come down here. But not enough”

“You mean Loki doesn’t take full advantage of it?” Liz said as they started up the winding steps to the top of the main slide.

Peter shrugged. “It’s a bit of a shame, cos there’s a lot to explore, and I think he’d enjoy it, but he just... He’s always said he hates swimming, ever since I first met him”

“Either he hates it, or he’s just not very good at it” Liz said.

“He’s a god, Liz. I don’t think anything as small as swimming is beyond his capabilities”  Flo said.

Peter didn’t say anything, just played with the light settings now they’d reached the top. He wasn’t about to admit it, but Liz was right. He’d found out quite by accident. It was a long time ago now, at the very end of that rocky first summer. He’d asked Loki to come down to the pool with him, and he’d refused point blank. They ended up having a huge argument, and in the heat of the moment, Loki had accidentally let slip that he didn’t know how to swim. Peter had offered to teach him, but Loki had snapped that he wasn’t going to let a snot-nosed little brat try to teach him anything, and then he’d smacked him hard and told him that if he ever told anyone, he’d kill him. Peter didn’t believe him, of course, but he wasn’t going to take the risk - and he was still scared of getting on Loki’s bad side back then.

-

The fading lights and the rush of water and the speed of the slide were almost overwhelming. It was like being in a different universe - and so it was quite a shock shooting out of the end of the slide and splashing into the blue swimming pool water below. Liz righted herself and turned to Peter and Flo, who had gone before her - but found herself distracted by the scenery. It was like a little cove, the walls around them made to look like rock, very high above them. There were little ledges round about, and there seemed to be little passages at all angles, leading off to who knows where.

“Oh wow”

“It’s cool, right?” Peter grinned. “Hey, there’s way more. Come on, let’s get exploring: there’s so much I want to show you!”

-

It really was like another world, full of twists and turns and whirlpools and little forests and waterfalls, not to mention more slides and a little pool with a fierce wave machine. Liz stared in awe. The possibilities were endless.

-

The three of them climbed onto a little brick-red raised paddling pool under a spray of cold water, and flopped, Peter in the middle with a girl on either side. Peter closed his eyes, feeling the cold water on his face, and the beat of his pulse in his neck and along the wounds on his front. 

“I told you it was unreal” Flo said, still catching her breath. “Imagine if you’d been a little kid here, Peter! If we have this much fun now, at our age, imagine how overwhelmingly exciting this would be for a small child”

“I think it’d be  _dangerous_ for a little kid!” Liz said. “They’d get lost far too easily,  _and_  they’d hurt themselves”

She’d scraped both knees and elbows, and slipped over quite a few times over the course of their exploration, as had the others. It had felt a bit dangerous at times - or, if not dangerous, them at least precarious. 

“Peter? Do you ever think this place is too big to fit here? It’s like a whole planet in your basement!”

Peter giggled. “I think technically it is still the ground floor. It  _is_ a bit funny, but I’ve gotten so used to having an upside down house, I don’t really think about the ground floor”

“This is going to sound really thick, but what’s an upside down house?”

“It’s not thick: I didn’t know the term until someone explained it. It’s like, a house where the kitchen and living room are upstairs... Ours sometimes feels a bit like a flat, because we’ve got literally everything upstairs. As far as I know, the only things we have downstairs are storerooms, and the pool. Oh, and dads lab”

“Oh, I see” Liz nodded. “...I never knew Tony Stark was so big on swimming”

“I don’t think he is, really” Peter said. “He’s much more into his sciencey stuff and his mechanic stuff... I did ask him why he built the pool once”

“Oh?” Flo sat up. “What did he say?”

“Well, he designed it when he was bored one night, and then he realised he had loads of space here, and he thought he’d mess about with the idea. He has loads of friends who are good at manual work, and he hired some other people, and it became his project. He says he’s still proud of it, because it was all done to his design”

“That’s so cool”

“The original design is amazing, honestly. It’s huge, like, he did on on like, A2 paper, and there’s two, ‘cos some of his little details and stuff he drew bigger to work out, but it’s just... It’s so  _detailed_ , all intricate with all little labels and scales and stuff. It’s all coloured in with coloured pencils and it’s just so cool. He said he couldn’t bear to throw it out even after the pool was built, and he dug it out to show me. I swear I must’ve spent a good half hour at least looking at it”

“Tony Stark can literally do everything” Flo said, sighing ruefully. “It’s kind of amazing”

“Well, maybe, but I’ve also seen him effing and blinding and almost scolding himself with a steam iron because he couldn’t work out how it worked” Peter said, smiling at the memory. “I think he wanted to kill me when he put it down and I picked it up and worked it out like, immediately”

“What about Loki?” Liz said. “Is he good at all the same stuff?”

“Um.. Well, strictly speaking, he’s not allowed to so much as set foot in the lab, and sometimes I think he’s still getting to grips with human science and stuff. He’s clever, and he’s fine with most things. I think he  _could_ be as good as dad if he wanted to be, but he isn’t really bothered. I think he’s just happy enough doing his volunteering and going to the pub and then coming home and playing the domestic goddess”

“It’s hard to imagine him running about with a feather duster”

“I think so too, and he’s my dad!” Peter finally sat up, so Liz did too. “I know he does most of the housework, but I don’t ever  _see_ him do it”

“Not at all?”

“Well. I’ve seen him do the kitchen. And I’ve seen him make my bed, but only when I’ve been ill and he’s done it. He says clean bedding helps you feel better, I don’t know” he shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t really think about housework: it’s a bit of a dull area”

“I’ll say!” Flo said. “How long have we been down here anyway?”

“God knows. I always lose track of time down here” Peter said.

“Well, it feels like we’ve been here for hours” Liz said. “I’m tired out now”

“Yeah, I am too” Peter said. “We can cut through the rock to get back”

Liz looked at where Peter was looking. The rock wall seemed no different to the other walls: solid.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I’m serious” Peter slid back into the main pool. “There’s a bit you press, like a hidden panel, and it gives you a puzzle, and then lets you through. It’s like a secret door”

“This place is so extra” Liz said to Flo.

Flo smiled and jumped down from the raised pool. She held a hand out to Liz and helped her down.

“It’s mad, isn’t it? I’ve not been through the wall before!”

“It’s kinda spooky” Peter said. “It’s fun though”

They went over to the wall, and Peter found the hidden button. It opened up a square panel, and they were faced with a puzzle. 

“Ooh, slidey puzzles! I love these: I used to have lots when I was little” Flo said. 

“Oh good, because I’m rubbish at them” Peter said. “They take me forever”

“Oh come on; it can’t be that hard” said Liz. “Let me see”

With three of them on the case, it took them less than a minute to slide the tiles around and assemble the picture. The panel lit up, and there was a squeaking as an outline became visible in the rock, and a big hole opened up in the wall. Liz and Flo peered in. 

“It looks awfully dark” Flo said.

“It’s lighter when you get past the first bit” Peter said. “Come on”

He hauled himself up and crawled through the hole in the wall. The girls looked at each other, shrugged, and followed suit. The hole in the wall closed up again behind them, and they found themselves in a surprisingly spacious cave. They stood up, listening to the echoing drip of water.

“This is like something out of a film” Liz said, looking up at the faint pinpricks of light shining high above them. 

“It’s kind of beautiful, in an eerie sort of way” Flo said, taking hold of Peter’s hand. “How do we get out?”

“We walk” Peter said. “There’s like, a bunch of different passages you can go down, if I remember rightly. It’s kinda like a dream: I can’t remember what’s real and what’s not”

They walked on, little lamps coming on and illuminating their path as they passed the motion sensors. It was like being in any old cave, the walls wet, stalactites coming down from the ceiling above them. But it was different too, with little cubby-holes in the walls illuminated with little green lights, sometimes pink - and they were certain they could hear soft music playing. 

-

As they continued onwards, they reached a clearing, and found themselves faced with a huge waterfall spanning the whole wall.

“Oh dear” Flo said, biting her lip. “I think this is a dead end”

Peter looked at her. “No, no, I remember this bit!”

“You sound excited” Liz said.

“I  _am_ excited! The next bit is so nice once we get to it”

“Well, ok, but how  _do_ we get to it?”

Peter smiled at them and walked backwards, through the waterfall, and disappeared. Flo and Liz looked at each other.

“I feel like an idiot now” 

“Me too”

They ducked their heads and walked through the waterfall. It was much better lit once they were through. They found they were now at the top of a stone-looking slide, and down below them was a pool, looking like something you’d find hidden in a real cave, all strangely shaped and rocky, but with gentle lights glowing under the water. Those same gently lit cubby-holes lined the walls, and that strange harp-and-xylophone music they’d heard so faintly before was now at it’s full volume.

“...This is so wasted here” Liz said. “This whole pool should be part of a resort or something. Everyone would love it”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right” Peter said, trying not to feel offended. “I kinda like knowing no one else has something like this though. It’s kinda special - if a bit extravagant”

“This is what happens when people have more money than they know what to do with” Flo said. “If you’re rich enough, you’re allowed to be eccentric”

“Mm... Can we leave the financial talk till later? Let’s swim”

He took hold of the girls hands and they slid down the slide together and into the little pool at the bottom. It was much warmer than the other parts of the pool, almost like a hot tub. 

“It’s like a little fairy land” Flo said, floating on her back and looking up at the little lights. “It’s so beautiful”

“You need to get a waterproof camera and an Instagram account” Liz said. “There’s so much possibility here”

“I do  _have_ an Instagram: I just don’t use it much” Peter told her. “This place would be great for making little films in, don’t you think? Or doing photoshoots”

“It would certainly be an original setting, but I don’t think this is the kind of thing that you could properly capture the beauty of on camera”

“I’ll second that” Flo said, still on her back. 

“Maybe I’d better try to get that waterproof camera then”

-

Shooting down the death slide and landing with an almighty splash in the rather normal front pool felt awfully strange and surreal. 

“I feel like I’ve just returned from another world” Liz said, blinking a bit as she looked around. Everything looked so normal now, after clambering through caves and coves for so long.

“Me too, and I think I’ve got the tiredness to go with that kind of journey!” Peter said. “Do you two wanna swim for a bit longer?”

“Well, do you want to?” Flo asked.

Peter shook his head. “I’m tired. Is it ok if we get out?”

The girls smiled and gave him a quick hug.

“Sure thing”

-

Once mostly dry and dressed and back upstairs, still feeling as though they’d just stumbled out of a dream, the three teens cuddled up together on the sofa in the living room, blankets round their shoulders. Peter was in the middle, feeling very soft and sleepy and happy. He joined in the conversation for a while, but then fell quiet, just listening, and he soon fell asleep.

-

“You appear to have tired him out” Loki said, coming into the living room and finding the two girls talking quietly, with Peter asleep between them.

“I think we’re  _all_  tired out” Liz said. “That swimming pool is insane. Although I’m sure it’s more of a water park than just a pool. It’s incredible”

“So I’m told” Loki said, carefully lifting Peter up and settling him down on the armchair. “You know, you don’t have to hang about. He’s been very weak lately: he’ll probably be asleep for quite a while now”

“Oh, I don’t mind...” Flo said. “Liz?”

“Well. If he’s gonna be asleep for hours...”

“Liz is right, Flo. I’m sure you can quite easily entertain yourselves here, but Peter’s out for the count: he’s had a long day, and he needs to wind down. You should get your stuff together. I’ll ask Tony to drive you home”

*


	13. Nothing To Lose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for how long it's taken me to update, and for the shoddy work, and the fact that it's a tiny chapter. But honestly, with my life going the way it is right now, it's a wonder I've managed to write anything at all.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter anyway!

-

Peter awoke. He blinked a bit, rubbing his eyes, and heard a crinkling of paper. He picked up the note.

 _Peter,_  
Sorry we left without saying goodbye! Your father said you were done for the day and we’d be better off going home. See you again soon!  
Lots of love,   
Liz and Flo xxx

“So, you’re awake” Loki said gently, coming into the room. “How are you doing?”

“I’m ok” Peter said.

Loki knelt down in front of the armchair and stroked Peter’s cheek gently.

“You’re still terribly sleepy, aren’t you? You’re very warm, too”

“I guess. It’s been a while since I’ve played like that. I guess we tired ourselves out. It was fun though”

“You didn’t hurt yourself at all, did you?”

Peter shook his head. “Just a few scrapes, nothing worth mentioning”

“Good. Good… Look, it’s getting late. Let’s get you up and get you fed”

“I’m tired” Peter said. 

“I know, sweetheart. But lets get you something to eat, and then you can go straight to bed if you so wish. Ok?”

Peter paused, sighed, and nodded. “Ok”

He sat up slowly. Loki went to pick him up, but Peter stopped him.

“I’ll walk, it’s ok”

He still let Loki help him to his feet and put an arm round his shoulders.

“What are we having for tea?” 

“Let’s go and ask daddy”

-

Peter was so sleepy that he could barely taste his tea, but he cleared his plate anyway. 

“Good boy” Tony said, ruffling his hair gently. “Come on now; time to go to bed”

Peter nodded slowly. “Ok…”

“Go on, then. We’ll come and check on you in a bit”

-

Peter was already fast asleep when the grown-ups went to check on him. He’d got undressed, and was cuddled up on his side, his old seal under his arm, his hand up by his mouth. He looked very small and a bit poorly. Loki tucked him in properly, and knelt by the bed, smoothing the covers over him.

“This is why I don’t want to give the suit back” Tony said, watching them. “He’s just a baby, really”

“I know what you mean. But we both know that he wouldn’t agree”

Loki kissed Peter hard on the cheek and left the room without another word. Tony sighed, and then knelt down beside the bed. He stroked Peter’s hair gently.

“You know I’m only looking out for you. Everything I do, it’s all for you. I don’t want to see you get hurt” He sighed and kissed him gently on the temple. “Goodnight, little boy”

-

Loki looked at Tony in surprise, and slowly hugged him back.

“Hey” he said gently. “What’s the matter?”

“Do you think I’m a bad parent?” Tony mumbled.

“What? No! No, of course not. Why would you say that?”

“…I know you didn’t agree with me taking the suit away from him. I know he’s still a bit upset about the whole thing. But I’m doing it for him. You know that, right?”

“I understand why you’re doing it” 

“He looked happy today, didn’t he? Hanging out with Flo and that other girl”

“He did” Loki nodded. “He  _was_ happy. He is, generally. Now stop overthinking. Go to bed”

Tony held onto him tighter. “I don’t want to let go of you”

“Your bed is big enough for two”

-

Loki took one look at Peter when he stumbled into the living room at 11am the next morning, and shoved his coat at him.

“Get your shoes on”

Peter whined, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Why? I’m tired”

“You’re up, you’re dressed, and yes, I can see you’re tired. You need some good, fresh air. We’re going for a walk. Chop chop”

“Do I have to?” he looked at Tony for help.

Tony sighed. “Better do as your father says”

Loki looked at him. “…Where’s Peter’s passport?”

“What? Loki, no. You’re going for a walk; not a holiday!”

“Well, what do they always say? Going to the seaside is good for you health”

“We’ve got beaches in this country - you don’t need his passport!”

“Well yes, but that’s not the same”

“The same as what?”

Peter looked between the two of them, staying quiet.

“England”

“England!” Tony exclaimed, and sighed heavily. “You can’t just drag him off to England at a moments notice”

“It’s worth considering” 

“Go for your walk. Peter, get your shoes on”

“Are we going on holiday?” Peter asked, still half-asleep.

“You’re going for a walk. T-ta!”

-

Loki raised an eyebrow at Peter as he yawned for at least the twentieth time.

“Are you endeavouring to become a walrus, my son?”

“Aww, I’m just tired” Peter yawned. “Can we go back now?”

“We’ve barely been out for ten minutes” Loki said. “You need some breakfast. We’ll walk, get you fed, and then walk back. Now. What do you fancy? You can have anything you like”

Peter shrugged. “I don’t want a cafe breakfast: I’d rather just eat a bowl of cereal at home”

Loki sighed. “Alright. We’ll go for a wander down to the third corner and back again. I’m not feeling the enthusiasm from you”

Peter looked at him guiltily. “I’m sorry. I’m just so  _tired_. I don’t know why, especially after that full nights sleep. I thought I’d feel, I don’t know, refreshed, I suppose”

“Well, it’s like that sometimes. Besides, it’s been such a while since you’ve had that level of activity. And, you’ve been quite poorly recently, so maybe you’re tired because of that, too”

“Maybe…” he said, rubbing his eyes and yawning. “Is this what your illness is like?”

“Well” Loki thought for a moment. “I’ve certainly been exhausted after eleven hours sleep before too”

-

Peter had something to eat once they got back to the house, and then promptly fell asleep again. Loki and Tony sat down nearby, silent at first.

“So” Tony said.

“So” Loki said.

“A holiday” Tony said.

“A holiday” Loki said.

“Are you just going to act parrot, or are we going to talk?”

Loki looked at him, and sighed. “Sorry: I’m a bit caught up in my thoughts”

“I can tell you want to take him to England. The thing is, holidays take a lot of planning, and I don’t know about taking him away just now. He might still be a bit too weak”

“I’m not sure I agree. If he can mess about in a pool for a full afternoon, I’m sure he’d manage a plane journey. It’s just a thought. We’ve got nothing to lose”

“And then there’s work”

“You don’t have to come. I’m more than capable of booking a flight and accommodation for us”

“How long exactly are you expecting to go for?”

“Not too long: I’m not about to take him on a global tour. I was only thinking a weekend”

Tony sucked his breath. “It takes a long time to get to England, remember? You’d exhaust him, not to mention yourself. You’d have to fly over, have a recovery day, have a couple of days there, and then maybe another recovery day before flying back. Including the days of flights, you’d need a good five days or so set aside. Plus, you remember what he was like when we first took him to England; wanting to go here, there, and everywhere”

“You’re talking about this like you’ve said yes”

Tony stopped for a minute. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. I think we need to talk and plan it out  _properly_ \- and even then I’m still not sure it’s a great idea. The poor thing might not even  _want_ to go away”

“I’m sure he will. Regardless, let’s discuss this properly. I’d rather have a proper plan, as you say - and I don’t want to ask him without your agreement. I don’t want to go behind your back on this. Let’s talk”

Tony looked at him, and sighed. “It’s work, too. I’d have to see if I could cancel or rearrange a few things, and talk to Pepper about this, that, and the other”

“You’d want to come, wouldn’t you?”

“Well, it’d be good to get away as a family. I know he can be a tricky bugger at times, and you might need a hand if he gets funny. But… Well, we had a great time in England, didn’t we? The three of us? I think that holiday way back then did a lot of you and Peter, in terms of bonding. Don’t you?”

“Well, we were already friends by then, but I suppose we did get even closer on that holiday… I wasn’t really thinking about going back to any of the places we went on that holiday, though. Maybe one of the places  _we_ went, but I’m not too sure. I was only struck with the idea before the walk, so it’s not like I’ve had time to deliberate over it too much just yet”

“Well, maybe you  _should_. Although I think it’s a bit of a waste of effort on your part”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“It’s just… I’ve got a feeling he wants to keep seeing this Liz, and him and Flo seem to be spending more and more time together now too, so I’m not certain he’d jump at the chance straight away”

“He gets excited about day trips: I’m sure a mini-break would be more than enough to tempt him”

Loki stood up, retrieving his tablet from the windowsill, and sitting back beside Tony.

“Let’s sort this properly. If I’m going to get you on board, I think formulating a proper plan is the way forward”

Tony looked at him, and put an arm round his shoulders. “You’ve already won me round, and you know it”

-

Peter didn’t feel great at all. He was just so tired. He refused food, and allowed himself to be taken to bed. 

“Peter, your father and I were talking earlier” Loki said.

“Oh yeah..?” Peter said sleepily, settling down and cuddling up with his seal. 

“We were wondering how you’d feel about going back to England. Just for a week. Seaside. For your health”

Peter sighed and whined a little, too tired for a proper conversation. 

“I want to be with Liz and Flo” he mumbled, closing his eyes.

“You could always invite them” Loki suggested. 

Peter didn’t respond. Loki sighed silently, and kissed Peter on the cheek.

“Goodnight, chick. We’ll talk again in the morning”

“Goodnight…”

-

Peter still felt a little funny the next morning. It was still pretty early when he climbed out of bed, but as he passed Loki’s door on the way to the kitchen, he heard voices. He paused, listening.

“I’m not abandoning everything here” 

“No one’s asking you to. I’m just saying consider the options”

Peter stepped closer to the door - and the floorboards creaked loudly as he did so.

“Peter?” Tony called out. “Is that you?”

There was no point pretending. 

“I’m just getting a drink” he said quickly, and hurried to the kitchen, not really wanting to talk to them.

-

It all felt so weird, them talking about going on a holiday. It seemed a random time to do it, and if he was honest, Peter didn’t really want to go away. He was properly friends with Liz now, and he knew she wouldn’t be around forever. He wanted to make the most of the time they had left together before she had to go back home. After the day he’d spent with her and Flo, he wanted to spend time with both of them together again. He was only just starting to feel happy again. Even if they only went away for a few days, he’d miss out on so much opportunity. He didn’t want that.

-

A quick text exchange and thirty minutes later, Peter slid into the booth in the cafe with Flo and Liz. They’d been there a little while already and were sat sipping coffee together, side by side. Peter said opposite.

“Hungry, are you?” Flo smiled, seeing he’d reached for the little laminated menu straight away.

“Well, maybe a little” he said, scanning the menu. “I kinda ran out of the house pretty quickly, so I haven’t had breakfast. I’m avoiding my parents”

Liz looked at him. “What have you done?”

“Nothing! They’re just being all weird with me. They want to take me away”

“Take you away? Take you away where?” 

“England. Daddy said so last night. For my health, apparently” 

“You love England, though” Flo said. “You told me all about that holiday you went on that first year you spent at the Stark’s”

“I’ve never seen anyone look so depressed after being offered a foreign holiday” Liz said. 

“I don’t want to go. I wanna stay here and keep doing stuff with you two” Peter said quietly.

“Aww, you’re so cute” Flo said, moving round to his side of the booth and cuddling up beside him. “Have you told your parents that?”

Peter paused. “Well. I mentioned I wanted to be with you two. Daddy said I could invite you. But somehow I don’t think it’ll happen.. I mean, you’re only here temporarily, Liz, so what would your mum say?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think she likes me being out and about, so she can see her friends and do stuff she wants more” Liz shrugged. “She  _might_ say yes, but I think she’d want to talk to your parents first. She worries about me”

“I’m sure my mum would say would say yes, too” Flo said. “But you’d have to confirm details”

“I don’t even know where abouts we’re going. I think they said something about the seaside”

“Why don’t we go back to yours and ask about it?” Liz suggested.

Peter looked at her. “Finish your drinks first, and then we’ll go”

“Are you sure?” Flo said.

Peter nodded. “Suppose we’ve got nothing to lose”

-

Tony looked at the three teenagers, and then slowly turned his head to Loki.

“I told you to wait”

Loki shrugged, and smiled. “What harm could it do?”

“Loki, we’ve never even met Liz’s mother. Plus, going away with friends? He’ll just get all giddy and silly and overexcited and stress himself out - and that’s the exact opposite of what we want to achieve from the trip”

“Um, I am here, y’know” Peter said, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other. 

Tony looked at him. “Sorry kiddo”

He looked at all three of them, and then focused on Liz.

“Have you got a phone number for your mother? I suppose there’s nothing to lose”

-

It felt strange sat in the second sitting room between his parents, with Liz, Flo, and Liz and Flo’s mothers on the sofa opposite. Liz’s mother was admittedly quite star-struck, and Peter felt that may have helped a lot. The adults talked at length, while the kids glanced at each other and stayed as quiet as possible. Peter didn’t struggle with this bit. 

There was a definite conclusion to the conversation. Peter, Flo, and Liz couldn’t help but grin at each other. They were going on holiday together.

*


	14. Excuse For Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a very short, rubbish chapter, but yknow, it's still a miracle I've even managed to write anything at this point. Hopefully I'll get back on track fully at some point soon

-

It all felt like a bit of a rush job. Peter didn’t feel at all ready for it the day before the flight. He still wasn’t 100% sure where they were going. He hadn’t even got out his suitcase.

“Peter? Haven’t you packed yet?” Loki said, standing in the doorway.

Peter shook his head.

Loki sighed irritably. “Well, get a move on, then! Your father wants to pack the car today”

“Sorry…”

“Don’t apologise: just get on with it. You don’t want to spend the evening doing it, not when you’re going to have your friends to entertain”

Peter didn’t say anything.

“What’s the matter, chick?” Loki said, coming and sitting down beside him on the bed. “Don’t you want to go?”

Peter shrugged. “I’m just tired. And nervous. I’ve got a weird feeling about this. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea”

“It’s all booked now, chick. There’s no going back. Your friends are looking forward to it. It’ll do you good. I’m sure you’ll feel better about it in time”

“And what if I don’t?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it”

Peter frowned. Loki sighed again, and gave him a squeeze.

“Do you want me to help you pack?”

“Yes please”

“Ok” Loki found Peter’s big suitcase for him. “We’ll do it quickly, and then we’ll talk”

-

Peter kept his face buried in Loki’s chest. He felt quite weak, but he felt a bit better for having a good talk. Loki stroked the boys hair gently.

“Sweetheart, I love you. You do know that, don’t you?”

Peter made a vague noise, and then whined as he heard the doorbell go, clinging tighter to Loki.

“You’ve got to go and say hello to them, pet” 

“I don’t want to”

Loki sighed. “You have to. Listen… See? Your father’s already let them in”

“Can’t you just tell them I’m asleep? Or that I’m ill?”

“No, Peter. Come on” he gave him a gentle tap. “Up you get”

“No”

Loki stood up, hoicking the boy up with him. “There, you’re up now”

“I don’t want to see them!”

“Peter, come on”

“No!” 

He tried to run, but Loki grabbed hold of him. 

“Peter! Peter, your friends are here!” Tony called. 

“You can’t hide forever” Loki said. “Go and say hello”

“I don’t want to!”

“Well, that’s tough. Go on”

“NO!”

“For goodness sake, Peter!” Loki snapped, grabbing the boy by the shoulders, all set to give him a good shake. “Stop being such a difficult little-”

He looked at the boy properly, and just for a moment, it wasn’t his son he saw looking back at him. He stopped, swallowed, and pulled him close, hugging him tight.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart” he said gently. “I know. I understand how you feel”

Peter merely clung to him, not even looking up when he heard the door open.

“Ah, so this is where you two have got to!” Tony said, and then stopped. “Is everything alright?”

Loki looked down at Peter, who carefully pulled away from the him. He took a deep breath and turned round.

“Yep, everything’s fine. Hey, guys!” he grinned, and rushed forward to hug Liz and Flo. “It’s so good to see you! Hey, dad set up the twin room for you for tonight. He said the futon wouldn’t provide a good enough sleeping environment” 

Tony laughed at him. “Alright kiddo, go and show the girls where they can put their bags. I’m sure you can amuse yourselves for a while”

-

The twin room proved popular with the girls.

“These covers are just lovely” Flo said, stroking the granny stitch crochet blanket on the bed she was sat on. 

“I’d forgotten all about them: I don’t really come in here” Peter said. “Dad made them”

“ _Tony Stark_ made these?” Liz said in disbelief.

Peter laughed a little, shaking his head. “No, other dad! He-… um, well, I didn’t really notice at the time, but he had a bit of a crisis after May died - we all did. And he took up crochet. Just something to do, I think. A distraction, yknow?”

“Poor Loki” Liz said. “…Still…”

“What time are we leaving in the morning, do you know?” Flo asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, I’m not sure” Peter said. “Early, I know that much. We’ll probably get treated like toddlers later, just so you’re aware”

“What do you mean, treated like toddlers?” Liz said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well. Dad’ll probably send us to bed early, like, really early. And he can baby me quite a lot sometimes, so…”

“Oh right. Where are we going anyway?”

“Somewhere by the sea, that’s all I know. I  _think_ we might be moving around a bit too, but I’m not sure. I’ve had a lot on my mind and haven’t really been listening properly”

“You’re a div” 

“I know” Peter couldn’t help smiling. “I’m really glad you two are coming with us”

“I’m glad I’m coming too. I worried mum wouldn’t let me, but we’re here for so long, she didn’t see an issue with it. I think she was starstruck” Liz said. “So, any warnings?”

“Um… Well, Flo’s used to us. Aren’t you?”

“I’m afraid so!” Flo said.

“Ok. So, the babying thing. But you’ll probably only have to see it, not endure it. Also, dads music. And dad in general. Both my dads are weird, and they’re so lovey-dovey a lot of the time as well. Um… I don’t really know what else to say”

He looked at Flo for help. Flo just shrugged.

“Well, Loki  _can_ be pretty scary sometimes, especially if he gets cross. I think that’s worth mentioning. Sometimes you forget he’s not human… Oh and Tony sings in the car. They also hug a lot, Tony and Loki, and Peter, of course. Oh, uh, they make you feel like you can get away with murder - they’re really laid back. But you can’t”

Liz blinked a bit. “So what’s you’re saying, is they’re all lovey and friendly, until they’re not”

Flo felt a bit awkward, but nodded. “I suppose so”

Peter just laughed. “Well, you’re not wrong! But surely that’s the same for most people?”

“Well, maybe” Liz said. “What are we doing for food anyway? I mean, I might have accidentally skipped lunch. Mum was being a bit funny, fussing about me going away, you know how it is”

“Uhh” Peter thought for a moment. “I don’t really know. My parents have been busy doing whatever it is they’ve been doing… Do you want me to go and ask?”

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience” 

“You’re not, don’t worry. I’ll go and ask”

-

“DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!?”

“Good god, Peter, don’t shout like that: I’m literally right next to you!” 

“Sorry. I’ve got a question”

Tony sighed irritably. “What?”

Peter didn’t say anything. Tony put his pen down.

“Sorry sweetheart. What is it?”

“Um… We were just wondering about… lunch?”

“Oh Peter, I don’t know. Order a takeaway or something”

“Um, ok, but what about-”

“Peter, darling, order a takeaway, and stay out of the way. I’m busy” he gave him a quick hug. “Go and spend some time with your friends. Go on, sweetheart, off you go”

-

Flo and Liz looked up expectantly as Peter came back into the twin room.

“Who fancies a takeaway?”

-

Despite a good afternoon filled with Chinese takeaways and gossip, Peter was relieved when he heard Tony calling them. He jumped up and went to find him, closely followed by Liz and Flo.

“Hey kiddo” Tony said, pulling him close and giving him a kiss on the cheek. “How are you doing?”

“I’m ok, I think”

“Good. Anyway, what do you three want to eat?”

“They’ve spent all day eating Chinese” Loki said, turning the page of his newspaper. “I doubt they’ve much of an appetite”

Tony looked at Peter. “What do you think?”

Peter looked at the girls, and then back at Tony. He shrugged.

“We’ll get something if we want it. We’ve eaten a lot today as it is” he said.

“Ok. Right, listen, you three: I want your big suitcases tonight. Anything you’ll need between now and leaving in the morning, stick in a carry-on bag or something. It’ll be easier to get the car packed tonight. We’re leaving really early, so I want you to start winding down”

“Dad, we’re not  _babies_ ” Peter said, wriggling out from under his arm.

“Really? Could’ve fooled me” he raised an eyebrow and shook his head. “No matter. Just do your bags, and then behave. Girls, have you got all your travel documents?”

The girls nodded. 

“Do you want them?” Liz asked.

“Nah, you keep hold of them for now”

“Tony, aren’t you forgetting something?” Loki said, not looking up from his newspaper.

“Hm? What?” 

Tony looked over at him, and Loki glanced at him. Tony blinked a bit.

“Oooh! Oh right” he cleared his throat. “Go and get sorted, kids. Let’s see if we can make this trip run smoothly”

-

Peter jumped so violently he fell off the bed. Loki raised an eyebrow, looking down at him from where he stood in the doorway.

“Are you ok?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah…”

“Alright, good. Come on, you: bedtime”

“Um… We’re kinda talking here” Peter said, glancing at the girls.

“So I see. But we sent you three to bed hours ago: you should have been fast asleep ages ago. Just count yourself lucky it’s me who’s come to tell you off”

“Are we in trouble?” Flo said nervously.

Loki shook his head at her. “No, darling. But you really do need to settle down now. There’s no time for lie-ins in the morning. Peter, you’ve done this trip before: you should know how important tonights sleep is”

“We’re literally just talking” Liz said. “We can always sleep on the plane if we need to. It’s not like it’s a big deal”

Loki slowly turned to look at her, fixing her with a glare that put the fear of God into her. He held it for a moment before slowly turning back to Peter. 

“Come on, kiddo. Say goodnight now”

Peter nodded. He gave Flo and Liz both a big hug, and then joined his father’s side.

“Goodnight girls” Loki said, switching the light off. “Go to sleep”

-

Peter let Loki take him to his room.

“I think you scared Liz” he said, as Loki tucked him into bed. 

“Well, if one look is all it takes, perhaps I did” Loki said. “Cheeky little cow”

“Dad!! Don’t call her that!”

“Sorry! Sorry. I don’t really know her well enough to judge yet, I suppose”

“Mmm…”

Loki sighed and gave him a hug. “I didn’t mean to upset you”

“I know…” Peter hugged him back. “Love you, dad”

“I love you too… It’s starting to get late, sweetheart”

“I know, I know. Goodnight, dad”

“Goodnight sweetheart. See you in the morning”

-

Tony put his book down as Loki came into the bedroom.

“Please tell me they’re asleep”

“Well, they will be soon” Loki said, climbing into bed beside him. “They’re in their respective beds, anyway”

“Good” Tony said, pulling the covers round both of them. 

“Tony, I’m starting to think this was a bad idea” Loki said, turning to face him.

“So am I” he pulled him close. “But we’ve already said yes, and we’re basically there already. Let’s just get through this”

“Can I pull a sickie?”

“Absolutely not. We’ve got through harder stuff together than a quick holiday with three teenagers before. We can do this. And besides” Tony gave him a quick kiss. “They’re old enough to look after themselves”

“What are you saying?”

“We can let them loose when we get there, and then, we’ll have a lovely big holiday house all to ourselves~”

Loki looked at him, and couldn’t help laughing. “I suppose you’re right. Maybe we can have some fun on this little excursion after all”

*


	15. Leave On Amber

-

Peter slept well, and didn’t feel too bad about being shaken awake in the early hours of the morning. He set about getting ready while Loki went to wake the girls up.

“Morning” Loki said, turning the big light on.

Both girls woke abruptly, whining and pulling the covers over their faces.

“Come on, get up, get ready. There’s no time for lie ins” Loki said, giving the quilts a tug so they were forced to face the light. “Get dressed”

“Oh Loki, I’m too tired” Flo whined.

“You’re just going to have to get on with it, darling” Loki gave her a quick hug, and laughed a little as she yawned. “Coffee?”

“Yes please” 

“Come through to the kitchen when you’re ready. We’ll get the kettle boiled”

Liz waited until Loki had left before addressing Flo.

“Early mornings suck”

“Yes, they do” Flo said, rubbing her eyes. “I don’t generally drink coffee, but I think I need it today”

“Me too… He will let me, won’t he?”

“Who? Loki?”

Liz nodded.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t he?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he likes me”

“He’s not going to deny you coffee or anything though, even if he didn’t” Flo said, giggling a little. “Do you like him?”

Liz paused for a moment. “I’m not sure. I think I’m a bit scared of him”

“You’ll get used to him. He’s just a big softy really. You’ll see”

-

Peter was cuddled up under Tony’s arm in the kitchen, looking at Tony’s tablet with him. Loki was busy with the kettle, but looked up when Liz and Flo came into the kitchen.

“Morning, girls” Tony said, closing his tablet and hugging Peter properly. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, thank you” Liz said, going over to them while Flo talked to Loki. “It’s a lovely room”

“I’m glad you think so. Get yourself something to eat. It’s better not to go about everything on an empty stomach” 

“Dad’s doing drinks” Peter said. “I’ve put some toast in, if you want some”

“Sure” 

Peter wriggled away from Tony and gave Liz a hug.

“How are you doing? Tired?”

Liz smiled, and nodded. “Incredibly”

“I’ve done this journey before. We can always sleep in the car and on the plane. The jets real comfy” Peter said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

“Peter, sweetheart?” Loki said. “What are you having to drink? Are you after a coffee?”

“Yeah, can I have a cappuccino please?” Peter asked, pulling away from Liz.

“Of course, darling… Liz?”

“Hm? Oh. The same, please”

Flo caught her eye and gave her a smile. 

“What are you two smiling at?” Peter asked, getting the plates out for the toast. 

“Oh, nothing” Flo said vaguely. “It’s just girls stuff”

-

Tony grabbed Peter by the shoulders

“Flippin’ heck, it’s like herding sheep!” he said. “Get down to the car. Your friends are already down there. Let me and your dad sort everything up here. Now, have you got everything?”

Peter nodded. “I think so. You always pick up anything I forget, anyway”

“Ok, good. Down you go, then” he gave him a little push in the direction of the garage door. “There’s a good boy”

-

A temporary lull in energy helped the journey to the airport run smoothly. Luckily it wasn’t a very long journey now they could use the main airport. The teens sat quietly in the back of the car, scrolling through Instagram on Liz’s phone, as she was the one sat in the middle. 

Once they reached the airport, they suddenly felt much more awake, partly due to the sharp night wind. The girls were suddenly hit with excitement, which Peter felt helped his own feelings. It felt very different, being with friends. He found he could barely pay attention to either parent, even when Tony got a little bit irate.

It was wonderfully familiar being back on the jet. Peter set about finding everything he usually had on the jet: blankets and books and videos and pillows - everything he needed to feel comfortable.

“Ok, this jet is amazing” Liz said, sitting down cross-legged beside Peter. “I know it’s mad, but I 100% imagined we’d be going on a passenger jet, not a private one”

“It’s cool having a whole plane to ourselves, isn’t it?” Flo said.

“It’s way more comfortable this way, trust me” Peter said. “You know, it’s a really long flight. I think it’s like, nine hours? It’s longer cos we’re going to a more central airport. And then it’ll probably be a few more hours in the car at the end”

“Do you know where abouts we’re going yet?” Liz asked.

Peter shook his head. “I think I’d rather find out via road signs at the other end. Sometimes the surprise factor is a good thing, yknow?”

“It’s somewhere by the sea, that’s all we need to know” Flo said. “I’m looking forward to it. I’ve never been to England before”

“Me neither. But you have?” Liz said to Peter.

“Yeah. You know that first summer I spent at the Stark’s? We went then. We were gonna go with May at one point too, but… Well, we never quite got round to it. We went again after they adopted me, though. We kinda went on a little Euro-tour”

“Where did you go?”

“Well, England, of course. And Scotland. And we went to Portugal and France and Belgium. And we spent a night in Luxembourg. We went to Germany, and  _technically_ we went to Switzerland, because there’s this bit in the Black Forest where you can literally just walk right over the border. I don’t know what part of Switzerland it was, and we didn’t really know how far it would be to get to the town or whatever. So we just messed about at this playground for half an hour and then walked back to Germany”

“That’s so weird, but kinda cool too. I’m guessing it was a long holiday?”

Peter nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty long. I forget exactly  _how_ long, though. I’ve got a whole bunch of photos - Flo’s seen them. Maybe I can show you some time?”

“Yeah, that’d be cool”

“Kids” Tony interrupted. “You need to grab a chair and strap yourselves in: we’ll be setting off soon”

“How long is it going to take in the car at the other end?” Liz asked as they sat down and put their belts on.

“Ehhh” Tony said vaguely. “Maybe about three hours? We might arrive when it’s still almost light, if we’re lucky”

“Is that part of the reason why we’re leaving so ridiculously early?”

“Absolutely. It’s what, nearly four now? So we should land around 1pm our time, which is…”

“6pm their time” Loki supplied.

“Right” Tony nodded. “So, theoretically, we’ll get to our base by around 9pm. You’ll be straight to bed when we get there, I reckon”

“What about food?” Peter said.

“We’ve got stuff on here” Tony said. “We’ll probably just grab a takeaway or something when we land”

“I think we’ll sleep well tonight” Flo said.

“Try to sleep on the plane as well, if you can” Tony said. “I know you naughty lot were up until way after you’d been sent to bed. I can’t imagine any of you are well rested”

“Well, perhaps not” Liz admitted.

There was a dull sound, and they looked up to see the seat belt sign illuminated.

“Tighten your belts, kids” Tony said. “We’re off”

-

Once they were properly airborne and the seat belt light had switched off, Peter and the girls set up camp on the floor with plenty of cushions and blankets. Peter found the lovely tin Moomin mugs and turned the kettle on.

“Not for us, thanks, sweetheart” Tony said, when Peter offered him and Loki a drink. “We’re gonna get some shut-eye”

“Ok, we’ll try to keep the noise down” 

“Thanks sweetheart” Tony said. 

Tony flopped on the sofa, and Loki curled up beside him. Flo looked over at them.

“Loki? Are you ok?” she asked. “You’re very quiet”

“I’m fine, sweetheart” Loki said, closing his eyes.

Tony held him close. “Don’t you worry about us, pet”

Liz took Flo’s hand, and Flo turned to look at her. She smiled slightly and squeezed her hand back. Peter handed them both a mug, and sat down with them.

“They always sleep on the plane” he said. 

“What if we wake them up?” Liz said, glancing over at them. 

“We won’t. Not if we stay quiet” 

-

The first hour went by smoothly enough, but then, after having had such little sleep during the night, the teens were all overcome with fatigue.

“Do you two mind if I go to sleep?” Peter asked, timidly. “I’m kinda finding it hard to stay awake just now”

“Me too” Flo said. “Liz?”

Liz nodded. “I’m tired too. Maybe we should’ve gone to sleep when we were told to yesterday”

Peter nodded. “Maybe… We should definitely sleep now though. I’m absolutely knackered” 

Peter looked over at his parents. Ordinarily, he’d go and cuddle up with them, but somehow he didn’t think he should this time, not while Flo and Liz were there. He felt them watching him, and slowly turned back to them.

“Are you ok?” Liz asked.

Peter nodded slowly. “Just tired”

He rearranged the pillows and blankets, making a big nest on the floor for them. Liz and Peter lay close together, facing each other, while Flo cuddled up close behind Peter, spooning him. They were good, and instead of continuing to talk, settled down quickly and very soon fell fast asleep.

-

Peter woke up on Flo’s chest, with Liz’s hand in his. He stirred, and the movement seemed to wake both girls from their slumber. Liz sat up, rubbing her eyes and feeling very glad she hadn’t bothered with make up that morning. Peter sat up so that Flo could too. They exchanged slight smiles, but were quiet for a few moments, adjusting back to reality. 

“How long have we got left to go?” Liz asked.

“I don’t know… How long have we been asleep?”

Flo looked at her phone. “Four hours, ish. So I think there’s still about four hours to go, and that’s just the flight”

“Peter?” Tony said.

Peter looked over at him. “Hm?”

“I think you’d better try to eat something”

“Oh… Ok. Do you want anything?”

“We’ve already eaten, sweetie” Loki said, turning the page of his book. 

Tony nodded. “Yeah, you just sort something for you and your friends, darling. There’s plenty in the cupboards”

“I don’t think I’m very hungry”

“Try to eat anyway, pet”

Peter shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t want to risk upsetting his parents, or his friends seeing him get all funny about something as simple as a snack - but he didn’t want to eat either. He couldn’t think of anything he could stomach.

Liz saw the look on his face, and took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

“I really fancy cheese on toast. What about you?”

Peter looked at her for a moment, and smiled. “Sounds good…”

-

Peter felt a bit more awake once he’d had something to eat, and a little calmer too. He curled up beside Loki on the sofa. Loki put his book down and hugged Peter close.

“Hello, sweetie” he said. “How are you doing?”

“I’m ok. You?”

“Tired” Loki said. “Very tired. But ok. I’m looking forward to the sea air”

“We won’t really get any today, will we?”

“Well. We’ll be out in the air for a little bit, even just getting out of the car. You’ll feel the difference. We’ll get plenty of sea air over the next few days anyway”

“Do you really think it’ll help?”

“Of course” Loki gave him a squeeze. “And even if it doesn’t, at least you will have gotten a holiday out of it”

-

The next few hours seemed to fly by remarkably fast. Perhaps it was the film, or perhaps it was having his friends there. Whichever it was, it was a bit of a surprise when Tony put a hand on his shoulder and brought the lit seat belt sign to his attention.

“Already?” he said dumbly.

“Yes, already” Tony said. “Time to get buckled up, pet: we’ll be landing soon”

-

“Six o’ clock, as predicted” Tony said, piling everyone into the hire car.

“How long did you say it’d take to get to where we’re staying?” Liz asked.

“Hold on a minute, I’ll check the Sat-Nav” Tony said, fiddling with the screen. 

“Are we getting something to eat on the way?” Flo asked.

“Depends how hungry everyone is” Tony said. “Ah, there we are: two hours, fifty-two minutes, on the fastest route. So yeah, probably more like three, maybe a little bit more”

“I hate this bit” Peter grumbled, putting his scrunched up hoodie against the window and resting his head on it.

“You’ll live, chick” Loki said. “Just look out of the window and enjoy the view”

-

Peter certainly didn’t feel like he’d live. He was ok for maybe the first half hour, and then he started to feel very restless and uncomfortable, and upset. He knew his distress was obvious, and that alone annoyed him, and made him feel even more tragic.

Loki put a hand on Tony’s wrist. Tony glanced at him, and gave him a slight, understanding smile.

“Would you girls be opposed to a McDonald’s?” he asked. “I think I can see the golden arches”

Liz and Flo looked at each other. “Sounds good to me!”

-

The strange, almost-tradition of McDonald’s in the car after a flight was a bit of a comfort, but Peter couldn’t seem to calm his nerves. He took the first opportunity to get out of the car, leaning against the bodywork and breathing deeply. Loki got out to join him. The girls almost did too, but Tony stopped them. 

“Hey” Loki said, taking Peter’s face in his hands. “What’s going on?”

“…I don’t know. I don’t feel so good”

“Do you need to walk away?”

Peter stopped for a moment, and then nodded. 

“I thought as much”

Loki put an arm round his shoulders and took him over to a bench by the road, out of sight of the car. They sat quietly together while Peter breathed in the cool evening air and gradually started to feel a bit better. 

“So” Loki said eventually. “Do you know what’s making you feel like this?”

Peter shook his head. “No, not really. I was ok until we landed”

“I think you’re probably just nervous. I think change surprises you, even when you’re expecting it. I don’t think having your friends here is helping either - although I’m sure it’ll be good for you once you’ve got over this little blip”

“…I am feeling better now, mostly… How am I gonna explain this to them?”

“They don’t know what’s going on, and they need only know what you want them to”

Peter looked up at him. “I think we should go back now, before our food gets cold”

Liz and Flo looked at him worriedly when he got back into the car.

“Are you ok?”

Peter took a deep breath, and smiled at them. “Yep, I’m fine. Travel sickness is a killer sometimes”

Miraculously, they believed him.

-

Liz was the first to fall asleep, and Flo followed not long after. Peter stayed awake, listening to his parents talking until Loki gradually went quiet and dropped off too. Then it was just two left awake. Tony reached back and gave Peter’s hand a quick squeeze, but he didn’t say anything. Peter rested his head against Flo’s and looked out of the window, watching the flash of the passing street lights, listening to the hum of the engine, and trying to work out if what he was feeling was fear or relief.

-

Peter jumped a little when the car stopped. He hadn’t realise he’d dropped off. The others were all awake by now, and the girls smiled sleepily at him.

“We’re here, kids” Tony said. 

“What time is it?” Flo asked.

“Not quite ten” Tony said. “Come on: let’s get all the bags in and see if we can’t sort a few bits and bobs out before we turn in”

-

Peter and Liz wanted to rush off and explore the house straight away, but Loki collared them both and made them stay put. 

“But-!”

“But nothing” Loki said. “Your father’s already assigned rooms, so wait and do as you’re told”

“Is this because of what happened at that party? Because-”

“Peter, don’t try your luck”

Peter pouted. “I just think-”

“You’re not fighting already, are you?” Tony interrupted, shutting the front door behind himself and locking it. “Alright, Lolly, stick the kettle on, would you, darling? Kids, with me”

Loki went off and the teens followed Tony obediently. 

“There’s gonna be a bit of room sharing” Tony said, taking them upstairs. 

“That’s fine” Liz said. “We’re all friends here”

Tony smiled slightly, pushing open one door. “Here you are, girls”

They turned the light on, and found themselves in a cute twin room, with nautical cushions on the beds, an old metal fireplace, and a big wardrobe and dressing table with chairs.

“Oh wow, this is so cute!” Flo said, admiring the carvings on the mantelpiece. 

“I’ve gotta admit, it’s bigger than I expected” Liz said. “Flo, do you mind me having the bed nearest the door?”

“No, that’s fine” Flo smiled.

“Hold on, what about me?” Peter said, biting his lip.

“Don’t chew on yourself like that” Tony said, tapping him on the mouth with his knuckles. “There’s another room for you”

“But-”

“You need your own space” Tony said, firmly. “Girls, grab your cases and bring them up, get settled a bit. We’ll check in on you soon”

-

“Why didn’t you ask me about this?” Peter said once the girls were out of earshot. “I’d prefer to share a room”

“You need your own space. Besides, the girls probably need to be all-girls-together, y’know?” 

Peter didn’t look convinced - and he certainly didn’t look happy. Tony put an arm round his shoulders and pushed open another door. This was a little single room.

“Dad-”

“Wrong one” Tony closed the door again and opened another one. “Ah, here you are” 

“Dad?”

Tony gave him a little push into the room. “Same thing, kiddo. Go and get your cases and get yourself settled”

-

Peter went and got his bags. He paused in the hallway. He could see his parents in the kitchen, looking perfectly contented, kissing each other slowly and deeply. Peter scowled, throwing his shoulder bag over his shoulder. There was something so annoying about being the only person in the house feeling unsure and uncomfortable about everything. 

He went back to his room and unpacked a few essentials, but then shoved the near-full cases to the side of the room and flopped on the double bed. The room looked like it was spinning above him. He shivered. Everything felt cold and a little unreal. He wanted to be back in his own bed at home, listening to the distant sound of the radio. He felt like he was one kind comment from bursting into tears.

-

Loki knocked on the door to the twin room and pushed it open. He couldn’t help laughing at the look on the girls faces.

“You look like two deer caught in headlights!” he said. “What exactly are you two up to?”

“Nothing, Loki, honest!” Flo said. 

Loki didn’t look like he believed her, but he didn’t say. He chose not to push it, and set two mugs down on the little table at the end of Liz’s bed. 

“I’ll leave you to it - whatever ‘it’ is”

-

Loki went to the double room. Peter was sat on the bed, looking at his phone, and looking very glum indeed.

“Oh dear” Loki said, standing in front of him. “What’s the matter?”

Peter shrugged.

“Come on now, you can talk to me”

“…I just… I feel so bloody emotional..!” Peter choked, a single tear dripping down his cheek.

“Oh sweetheart” Loki sighed, setting the mug he held down on the bedside table and sitting beside Peter.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me-!”

“Maybe you’re just tired” Loki said, pulling him onto his lap and hugging him tight. “Or maybe you’re just having one of those days”

“I should be happy though, right? Anyone else in my position would. I’m on holiday, and I’ve got my friends here. So why do I have to feel so sad and rubbish?”

“That’s just the way it is, sometimes. For lack of another example, just think back a bit to how I was in the week before the wedding. I wasn’t exactly singing from the rooftops now, was I?”

Peter shook his head, knuckling his eyes. 

“Sometimes you don’t feel the good emotions at the right time. But they’ll come”

“I’m tired…”

“You’ll feel better in the morning, when you’ve had a good sleep and refreshed yourself” he peered at the boy. “There’s something else going on here. What is it?”

Peter shifted uncomfortably. “…I just feel a bit lonely”

“No one is saying you have to coop yourself up in here” Loki said, reaching for the mug of tea and putting it in Peter’s hand. “Take a minute to compose yourself, and then go and join for friends for a bit before bed”

“I don’t know. Dad said-”

“Peter, it wasn’t a suggestion”

Peter looked up at him, and he smiled. 

“Yes, dad”

-

Joining the girls had been a good idea. They had their drinks and they talked and they laughed, and Peter started feeling better - almost back to his usual self. Just before midnight, there was a knock on the door, and Tony came into the room.

“Ok kids, you need to be going to bed now” he said. “It’s been a long day. Go and brush your teeth and get ready for bed”

Flo and Liz nodded.

“Yes, Mr Stark”

“Good girls. Peter, come on darling: say goodnight to your friends”

Peter did as he was told, hugging both girls tight before letting Tony guide him back to his room. 

“Do you need a wee before you go to bed?”

“ _Dad_! I’m not  _five_!”

“Well, do you?”

Peter shook his head. “No”

“Ok, good. Well, you’ve got a sink in here, so you can just get yourself sorted in here. I’ll come and check on you in a little while, ok, chick?”

Peter nodded. “Ok” 

Tony shut the door behind him. Peter did his teeth and washed his face and got into his pyjamas. He crawled into bed and tucked his Peter Rabbit toy under his arm. He lay back against the pillows, looking up at the artex ceiling and listening to Liz and Flo laughing together. It was nice to hear, even though he wasn’t a part of it. He felt ok now. Maybe Loki was right: he’d feel better in the morning.

*


	16. High Rise

-

Liz and Flo jumped awake violently at the sound of Peter screaming. They looked at each other for a moment, trying to register what was going on, and then scrambled out of bed. They pushed open Peter’s door, finding him held tight against Loki’s chest, his face hidden.

“Peter!”

“Are you ok?! What’s happened?!”

“Girls” Loki said. “It’s ok, I’ve got this. Go back to bed”

The girls looked uncertain, but did as they were told, tactfully closing the door behind them. 

Loki held Peter tighter, rocking him gently.

“Shh. It’s ok, sweetheart, I’ve got you. You’re ok”

Peter just clung to him and cried.

“It was just a nightmare. You’re safe now”

“I’m scared..!”

“I know, darling, I know. Shhh. Shh, it’s ok. I’ve got you. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere”

-

Once Loki had got Peter calmed and settled, and the boy was asleep again, he went and knocked on the twin room door. The girls were sat up in the respective beds, and they looked up at Loki worriedly when he opened the door.

“Is he alright? What happened?” Liz asked, biting her lip.

“He’s fine: it was just a nightmare” Loki said, leaning against the door frame.

“Must’ve been one hell of a nightmare. What was it about?”

“Never you mind. Now, are you two ok? I understand it can be quite distressing”

“My heart’s still thumping just a little bit” Flo said. 

Loki smiled sympathetically at her. “Do you need anything?”

Flo shook her head. “If he’s ok, I’m ok”

“Alright. Liz?”

Liz tore her eyes away from Loki’s bare chest showing through his dressing gown, and shook her head.

“Is there anything we can do for him?”

“Maybe just don’t mention this in the morning. He’ll probably still be a little upset, and rather embarrassed to boot. It doesn’t pay to draw attention to these things”

Liz and Flo nodded. 

“Of course. We won’t mention it”

“Good girls. Thank you” Loki said. “Go back to sleep, please. I’ll see you in the morning”

-

The girls were true to their word in the morning. Loki trusted Flo, but he held his breath when Liz opened her mouth. She didn’t mention what had happened in the night, and Peter, although a little tired-looking, seemed happy enough. 

“Sorry about the meagre breakfast” Tony said, fumbling through Loki’s coat pockets for his cigarettes and lighter. “We only grabbed a couple of bits when we stopped off, and I was way too lazy to get up early and go out for more stuff. We’ll do a full shop today. You kids can go down to the sea and do some exploring while we’re shopping”

“Oh dad, can’t we come? Please?”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, kiddo: it wouldn’t be fair on your friends”

“I don’t mind” Flo said. “I’ve never been to England, so I’ve never seen an English supermarket before. It might be interesting”

Tony looked at her, and then looked at Liz. “Deciding vote?”

Liz looked at Peter and Flo, and then nodded at Tony. “I don’t mind either”

“Right. Ok. We’ll go after you’ve all gotten dressed” he said, grabbing his coffee mug. “Loki, darling? Draw up a quick list while I’m outside, ok?”

Loki looked at him. “Fine. You owe me another packet of cigarettes, you know”

“Fine, fine. Just write the list”

-

Tony couldn’t help feeling ever so slightly regretful once they reached the supermarket. If he had just had Peter with him, fine. But two extra teenagers? It was a bit of a crowd in the aisles. He looked at them, hearing but not listening to their babble, and seeing Flo shivering in front of one of the big fridges.

“Right” he said.

They all stopped and looked at him.

“This isn’t really practical. Flo, why don’t you go with Loki? Go and get a drink or something in the cafe. Peter, Liz” he tore the shopping list in two and handed one half to them. “Go and find this stuff, and then come and find me when you’re done”

They dispersed, and as Tony was left alone, he sighed happily to himself. Sometimes it was nice to be able to do things on his own.

-

“I’ve never seen someone so contented in a supermarket before” Liz said.

“Hm?” Peter looked at her. “Ah. Well, it’s familiar territory, this. I like going back to things that I had before-… before everything happened, yknow?”

Liz put a hand on his arm. “Do you pretend everything’s back to how it was before May died?”

“Sometimes” Peter admitted. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents. But sometimes everything just kinda hits you, and pretending things are different is easier than facing up to the reality”

“I know. 90% of the time, my dad’s just on a business trip”

Peter stopped for a moment. He opened his mouth to speak, but Liz took the shopping list from him.

“Ok, what’s next..? I don’t even know how to say that”

Peter looked. “Choux buns. Wow, you can tell daddy Loki wrote this list”

“What’s a choux bun?”

“They’re like, puffy pastry things filled with cream. They’re a good thing”

“Oh right. Well” she folded the list. “Let’s go and find some, then”

“They’ll be in fridges. There’s like, a counter?”

“Is Loki.. into sweet things, then?”

“Uhh. Well, he’s got a sweet tooth, if that’s what you mean” Peter said. “We all like cream cakes, though. Why?”

Liz shrugged. “I was just wondering”

Peter looked at her. “You’re still trying to figure him out, aren’t you?”

“Maybe just a little bit”

-

Liz couldn’t help trying to figure Loki out. Maybe it was just that he wasn’t human, but there was something about him that she couldn’t put her finger on. She wasn’t too sure about him. Tony and Peter obviously thought the world of him, and Flo seemed very fond of him, too. Loki seemed to be friends with Flo, and he was very different with Flo than he was with Liz. Maybe he didn’t like her very much. Or maybe he was still trying to figure her out as well.

-

Once they got back to the house, Peter tried to put himself to use and help put the shopping away like he usually did. He barely lasted a minute before Tony suddenly picked him up, carried him out of the kitchen, and put him back on his feet in the corridor.

“What did I do?!”

“Nothing, sweetheart. Look, you’re supposed to be on holiday. Why don’t you and your friends go out for a bit? Have a walk down to the seafront”

“Isn’t it, I don’t know, lunch?”

“Peter, please, act like a teenager. Go and blow loads of money on sweets and crisps and chocolate. Tide yourself over that way”

“Aw dad, I don’t know”

“There’ll be Mr Whippy’s on the way down” Tony said, trying to tempt him. He looked at him, and sighed. “Kid, there’s two girls in the other room who are only here because of you. Make the most of this. Go on. Go out”

“Umm…”

“Peter” Tony said, starting to feel a little exasperated. “Go out, and act like a kid. I’m giving you the freedom. Grab it. Ok?”

Peter shuffled uncomfortably. 

Tony grabbed him by the shoulders. “Peter, for gods sake. Why aren’t you jumping at this?”

“…I don’t know”

Tony kissed him hard on the cheek. “If you’re not out of this house in three minutes, I’m going to give you one hell of a smack”

Peter spluttered, and laughed. “Ok, ok. I’ll go and get my friends”

Tony breathed out, and ruffled his hair. “Good boy”

-

Despite knowing Tony’s threat was nothing more than a joke, Peter still made sure him and the girls were out of the house less than three minutes later. It was a warm afternoon, and relatively quiet.

“Maybe we shouldn’t’ve had that long of a lie-in” Liz said. “It’s starting to get late already”

“Hardly” Peter said. “It won’t get dark for ages yet”

“I was thinking more about the shops”

Peter stopped, looking at the window of the shop they were passing. Liz was looking too, as was Flo. 

“It’s not like we’re only here for one day” Peter said. “Let’s just go down to the sea”

“I’d like to look in the shops, too” Flo said.

“But we wouldn’t have time to look in all of them today anyway! Come on, let’s go down to the sea.  _Please_!!!” Peter whined, grabbing hold of their arms.

“Don’t be such a baby, Peter” Flo said. 

“ _Please!_ ”

“Alright, fine! But we’re getting up at a decent time tomorrow so we can do the shops” Liz said. “Now get off my arm!”

Peter did, grinning triumphantly. “We can get a Mr Whippy on the way down”

“What’s a Mr Whippy?”

“You’ll find out in a minute”

-

Flo watched Peter fondly as the three of them leant against the big concrete wall overlooking the beach, grazing their elbows on the wall. Peter had his eyes closed, focusing of the feel of the wind on his face and the distant sound of the sea. 

“You look like a little puppy dog” Flo said. 

Peter opened his eyes. “It’s good just to feel the sea air, yknow?”

“You’ll be feeling that ice cream dripping down your hand before long” Liz said. 

Peter licked the melting drops of ice cream from the cone, and resumed eating.

“When we first went to England, we went to a seaside town called Whitby. It’s real different than this. But daddy Loki used to take me down to the old fish market, by the pier, and we’d buy ice cream. And then we’d go onto the pier and he’d lift me onto the wall, and I’d sit and he’d stand with his elbows up on the wall, and we’d eat our ice cream and watch the waves. We did it every evening while dad did his own thing for a bit. We always ended up getting wet: the waves around that pier are mad”

“So he likes the seaside too?” Liz said.

“Aside from the sand. He’s not a fan of sand. He likes the rest of it, though”

They were quiet for another minute or two, crunching their cones.

Flo cleared her throat. “Well, shall we go down and take a stroll along the stones now that we’re here?”

“Yes, lets” Peter said. “Race to the sea?”

“I’ve got sandals on” Flo said.

“Well, whose fault is that?”

“Why don’t we work out how to actually get down to the sands before we debate this?” Liz said.

Peter looked round. “I wouldn’t bet on it being sandy. We just need to go up here and then down, and then there’ll probably be some steps down from there. Or we can just wander all the way up, and it might meet the beach”

They decided on just walking straight. They took their time, looking at all of painted murals along the walls on the walk. Even then, it wasn’t long before the path petered out and they found themselves walking on stones. 

“You were right..” Liz said.

“Don’t sound so surprised” Peter said, sticking his chin in the air. “Are we having this race or not?”

“I’m not” Flo said.

“Well, I am” Liz said. She gave Peter a little shove. “Come on then”

“Oh, uh..” Peter looked at Flo.

“She’ll be  _fine_. You can look after my bag, can’t you?” 

Flo would have sighed, but she didn’t want to it to look like she was sulking. Instead, she smiled and took Liz’s bag.

“I’ll walk over, but I’ll be slow joining you” she said. “Peter, phone”

Peter handed it over for safekeeping, and gave her a quick kiss. “Thank you”

He turned to Liz. She smiled at him, and nodded. He nodded back - and they ran.

Liz was faster than Peter expected. She was just as competitive as he was, and he didn’t for a minute think about letting her win. He lost track of where he was, and very nearly careered straight into the sea. He managed to stop before he went headlong. He steadied himself, turning round - and Liz very nearly knocked into him as she caught up to him. Peter caught hold of her, spinning them round. 

“I win” he grinned.

“Only just!”

“Only just? I was a good twenty seconds ahead of you”

“Yeah, only just” 

She stopped, looking at him, holding onto his arms, still catching her breath. 

“What are you looking at?”

“I don’t know, but it’s looking back”

“Ha ha, very witty” Peter said. “That’s how dad always responds”

“Tragic”

She pulled away from him, looking out at the sea. 

“This is nice”

“Yeah… Fancy a paddle?”

They took their shoes off and put them at a safe distance, and then they took each others hands and stepped closer to the waters edge. The waves were rolling in, and they both squeaked a little as the water lapped at their feet.

“It’s bloody freezing!” Peter said, jumping back.

“Maybe we should back out”

“No, we said we’d paddle. Let’s just jump in”

“I’m not jumping!” Liz said, pulling her hand away from his. 

“Don’t be a wimp” Peter said, giving her a little push.

“I’m no wimp” Liz said, pushing him back.

Peter pushed her again, Liz pushed him, and they started a mega-wrestle, soon tripping over and falling flat on their backs into the sea. They both lay in shock for a moment, and then burst out laughing. Once he’d started, Peter couldn’t stop. The sun was shining down on him, and the cold of the sea and the sound of Liz laughing, and the feel of being beside her felt so good. He felt so good.

They fell quiet after a little while. Liz turned her head to look at Peter, and he turned his to look at her.

“I’m really glad I persisted with seeing you again” she said. “I would’ve missed out on moments like this if I hadn’t gotten your number”

“I’m glad I stopped pushing you away. Liz… I’m glad you’re here”

Liz smiled at him, looking into his eyes and not caring about her soaked hair and clothes. 

“You are happy, aren’t you? Despite it all”

Peter didn’t answer her question. “Do- did your parents ever sing to you?”

Liz blinked a bit. “They did when I was little. Lullabies and stuff. Why?”

“I’m jus’ thinking”

“I’m guessing your parents sing to you?”

“Yeah, they do. Mainly dad. He sings a lot, actually. He’ll sing along to most anything”

“What does he sing to you?”

“Stupid songs when he’s being silly” Peter said. “I like it when he’s not messing about. It kinda makes you realise what they mean when they say it’s the food of love, and why babies like being sung to”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just… nice. Y’know?… You think I’m a baby, don’t you?”

Liz smiled. “That doesn’t answer my question”

Peter took her hand. “They get all gooey over me and I like the fuss. They make me feel small”

“Why? What do they say?”

“I don’t mean like that! I mean, like, literally, I think? I feel like I’m little. Daddy especially is always calling me little and tiny and small”

“Ok, I think I understand. So, the singing? The non-messing about stuff, obvs”

“… Well, sometimes it’s at night, and sometimes it’s not… Sometimes, dad just kinda hugs me close, y’know, and he keeps me warm and kinda like, messes with my hair and sings to me…”

“What kind of songs?”

Peter turned his head so he was looking straight up at the sky. “Gentle love songs, mostly. Ambiguous ones. I don’t know. Just… gentle songs. Like that old Close To You song”

“How does it go?”

“Y’know, it’s that one that starts like, why do birds suddenly appear?”

“Oh yeah, I know the one you mean”

Liz shifted closer to him, turning onto her side and propping herself up on her elbow. She rested a hand on Peter’s chest, looking down at him. She fancied she knew what he was feeling.

“Does he look at you when he’s singing?”

“It depends. He does, but not always. Sometimes he closes his eyes, and sometimes he kinda puts his head against mine… Sometimes daddy puts on gentle playlists when he sees we’re spending time together, and then dad just kinda sings along without thinking…”

“What does he sing? Ok, I get it’s probably a pretty big list, but there must be some favourites”

Peter thought for a moment. “Have you ever heard ‘If I Were A Sailboat’?”

Liz shook her head.

“I’ll find it for you later. I can’t pronounce the surname of the lady who sings it. He sings a few of her songs. They’re good to fall asleep to. Dad’s got a nice voice. I like the way he sings her songs. He usually looks at me when he sings Nine Million Bicycles”

“Is it all love songs?”

“Some are  _almost_ love songs, but I think actual love songs hold the right tone for him… He sings to daddy too. I kinda like it when they cuddle and he sings to him. I know it’s corny, but you can see how much hey love each other when they do” Peter admitted. “Uncle Thor said to me once, that he’s seen my dads together, and he’s seen me and dad and… well, he basically said, romantic love and paternal love are very different kinds of love, but he could always see it in dad’s eyes. He said any idiot would”

“This is really important to you, isn’t it?”

Peter put his hand over hers on his chest. “Liz, after the accident, it took so long for me to feel safe again. Look, dad used to sing to me before the accident too, but, well… I don’t really know how to say it. But it makes me feel safe, and lucky. I mean, not everyone has a loving family, right? I don’t always like my parents, but I do love them. I know they love me, too, but it’s nice when we have those times when they really make me feel loved. You know?”

“No. But I think I understand” She squeezed his hand tight. “Keep talking. What else does he sing to you?”

“Elton John, a little bit. Just gentle stuff, like I said. Sometimes Elvis. Sometimes a whole bunch of songs who I don’t know who they’re by. Songs I’d know if I heard but wouldn’t be able to name”

“Maybe we could sit and listen to a whole load together some time. Just us?”

“I’d like that” Peter looked at her, very aware of how close her head was to his. “Have you ever seen the film ‘Ghost’?”

“Yes. I don’t think I could bear to watch it again” 

“Me neither. At least, not alone…”

Liz gently rubbed her nose against Peter’s. Peter held her hand tight, letting his eyes close, ready and willing to let it happen-

“Sorry I took so long!”

The two sprung apart at the sound of Flo’s voice. They sat up quickly, both hoping Flo wouldn’t notice their flushed faces. 

“What are you doing, sitting in the sea? You’re both soaked!”

She seemed none the wiser, and started fussing over their clothes. Peter and Liz looked at each other, and as they made eye contact, both had to admit to themselves that that moment wasn’t meant to be.

*


	17. Cried Out Over My Shoulder

-

After a while, Tony and Loki went down to the shore and found the teens. They stayed there, messing about and laughing and joking, skimming stones and jumping waves and playing stupid games, until it was starting to get dark. 

Once they got back to the house, Tony sent Liz and Peter upstairs to get changed out of their wet clothes, and then got started on tea.

-

After they’d eaten and tidied the kitchen, Loki grabbed Peter.

“Look what I’ve found” he said, holding up a DVD.

Peter stared. “Did you just buy that?”

“No; it was on the shelf in the living room” Loki said. “What’s that face for?”

“Uh, it’s just… Me and Liz were talking about it earlier”

“Oh?” Loki said, glancing at Liz. “Saying what?”

“That we couldn’t bear to watch it again”

Loki laughed. “Aw, bless. Well, I was thinking it might be good to watch a film tonight”

“I’ve never seen it” Flo said. “What’s the fuss, anyway?”

“Oh, just you wait, Flo, my darling”

“Have you asked dad?” Peter said. “You know what he’s like about sad films”

“Tony!” Loki called.

Tony appeared in the doorway, throwing a tea towel over his shoulder. 

“Ghost?” Loki said, holding up the DVD.

“Do you want this house to flood?” he said, shaking his head.

Loki just smiled. Tony sighed.

“Alright. Gives us something to do, I suppose”

Peter and Liz groaned. Flo blinked at them. She didn’t know what to expect. They all went through to the living room, and Tony got the telly and DVD player started up. He looked over his shoulder at the girls while it was booting up.

“Have you seen this before?” he asked.

“I have” Liz said. “I didn’t think I’d ever watch it again”

“I’ve never seen it…” Flo said.

“Oh dear. Maybe you should cuddle up to Peter for this one” Tony said. “It’s a bit sad”

“Dad, that’s the biggest understatement I’ve ever heard in my life” Peter said.

“He’s right, darling” Loki said. “Remember how much he cried the first time?”

“Remember how much  _you_ cried the first time?” Tony shot back. “And the second and third and fourth time? You’re a masochist, that’s what you are”

Peter giggled, and Tony raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. 

“See, even the kid knows I’m right”

“Do we really have to do this?” Peter said.

“Yes” Tony said, grabbing the DVD remote and flopping down next to Loki on one of the sofas. “Now sit down and be quiet, chick. Chicks”

Liz took the seat at the arm of the other sofa, and Peter sat close beside her, with Flo close beside him. He felt ok, cuddled between them like that, but he knew whatever composure he currently had was soon going to fall - and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

-

Flo soon found out why Peter and Liz were so reluctant about the film - and she understood Tony’s flooding comment. All five of them were in floods of tears for the duration. Flo hugged Peter tight, resting her head against his chest, but still with her eyes glued to the screen - or what she could see of it through her tears. Liz was hugging Peter too, too caught up in the film to be embarrassed about crying in front of everyone. It was oddly reassuring knowing that everyone was feeling the emotion so strongly too. 

Liz looked over at Tony and Loki. They were watching too intently to notice her. They were cuddled as close as could be. Tony had one arm round Loki’s shoulders, holding Loki’s hand tight with his free hand. Loki had their clasped hands up by his mouth. He was all quivery, and Tony had his mouth pressed to his temple. They both had tears dripping down their cheeks - and Liz could see just how in love they were.

-

Everyone seemed to take a deep breath once the credits started rolling. They were all still for a few moments, as though preparing to face reality again. Tony slowly reached for the remote, and turned the television off. He took another deep, shaky breath, kissed Loki hard on the cheek, and wiped the tears from his face. Loki wiped his own tears away with the heels of his hands, and, in a small voice, said;

“That film always gets me”

Tony gave him a squeeze and kissed his cheek again. He looked over to the other sofa.

“Ok?” he said, gently.

The girls swallowed and nodded uncertainly. They looked at Peter - and they saw the tears flood his eyes before he buried his face in his hands.

“Oh Peter!” Flo said, shakily.

“Oh sweetheart” Tony said. “Come here, chick”

Peter did as he was told, and let himself be pulled down onto his parents lap. They hugged him tight, letting him cry into their shoulders.

“You soppy git” Tony said, as though he himself wasn’t still crying. 

Liz looked away from them, and looked at Flo. Flo looked at her, and held an arm out. Liz was all too happy to accept that invitation. She held Flo tight, breathing in her soft flowery scent, and they stayed like that, having another cry, until they felt quite numb.

-

“I think I need a cup of tea after all that” Loki said, once they’d all managed to calm down.

Tony laughed at him. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea, darling”

Loki got up and went out to the kitchen, while Tony stayed on the sofa with Peter in his arms. He looked at Flo.

“Do you see what I mean now?”

Flo nodded. “I didn’t know what to expect, but I didn’t expect that”

“You’ll never forget it, Flo, believe me” Liz said. “It breaks everyone’s heart”

“It never gets any easier” Tony said. “Loki and I have watched it a good five times now, and I’d seen it before I’d met him, so I’ve seen it, like, six times? Still not over it”

“That songs gonna be in my head for days” Peter said quietly.

“There’s worse songs” Tony said, kissing his head. “Are you ok now?”

“Absolutely not”

Tony smiled. “You’re a funny kid”

-

Loki brought everyone a mug of tea. He sat Peter on his lap while they drank. 

“I feel a bit better now” Peter said, breathing in the familiar scent of chai tea.

“Well, what do I always say? Tea makes everything better” Loki said, without a hint of irony.

“Why, though?” Flo said. “Is it because it’s familiar?”

“I think it’s the heat” Liz said. “There must be some sort of psychology behind it”

“I don’t need to know the why’s, just so long as it works” Loki said. 

“Are you alright, Loll?”

Loki looked at him. “Why?”

“You look… tired” Tony said.

“I am tired” Loki said. “I think I’m ready for my bed”

“Me too” Tony said. “In fact, I think we should  _all_ go to bed once we’ve had our drinks: it’s starting to get late”

“What time is it?” Peter asked.

“Nearly ten o’ clock, chick”

“That’s not so late”

“You’re still going to bed once that mugs empty” Tony said. “It’s plenty late for a kid your age”

“I’m not a baby” 

“Yes you are” Loki said. 

Peter pouted, and Liz laughed at him, so he stuck his tongue out at her.

“Don’t be cheeky, Peter” Tony said.

“We’re just messing about” Liz said. 

“It’s still cheeky” Flo said.

Liz looked at her, but decided not to say anything. She went back to her mug of tea. Loki was right: it really was making her feel better. She was starting to feel tired now, too. Maybe it was the emotion. Or maybe it was the hours messing about by the sea earlier on. Either way, the thought of a slightly-early night was starting to sound quite appealing.

-

Loki went to bed first, and Tony sent the kids up soon after so he could have a few minutes to himself. The kids went upstairs and got into their night things, but of course they didn’t go to bed. They went to the twin room, and Peter sat on the floor between the beds while they talked. 

After a while, there was a little knock on the door, and Tony entered the room.

“Alright, kids. It really is time for sleep now” he said. “Come on, Peter”

Peter said goodnight, and let Tony take him to his own room. 

“How are you doing?” Tony asked.

“I’m ok” Peter said, climbing into bed and letting himself be tucked in.

“Good. You… you looked real happy earlier, when we caught up to you on the beach”

“I was happy”

Tony kissed him on the cheek. “Good. Goodnight, sweetheart”

“Goodnight dad”

-

Loki was already fast asleep when Tony went to bed. He cuddled up beside him, pulling the covers round them properly. He looked at him, watching the rise and fall of his chest. He turned the lamp off and lay down with him, perfectly happy, and ready for a peaceful nights sleep.

-

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DAD!! DAD, HELP! DAD!”

Tony pressed a pillow down over his head. Loki snatched it away from him. Tony whined, trying to grab it back.

“I went last night” Loki said. 

Tony sighed heavily, hauling himself up off the bed. He supposed he didn’t have a choice.

-

“Alright, kiddo, alright” Tony sighed, untangling him from the bed covers and pulling him onto his lap. “Alright, stop screaming now”

Peter clung to him, scream-crying into his chest. 

“Hey, hey hey hey” Tony said, holding him tight. “Flippin’ ‘eck Peter, what  _happened_ in this dream?!”

Peter didn’t say anything; just continued to cry. He showed no signs of stopping any time soon. Tony held him tight and stood up. At first he thought about taking him to Loki, but, deciding against it, took him downstairs.

-

“You didn’t warn me about this bit” Liz grumbled into the dark of the twin room.

“He’s never had them when I’ve been round before” Flo said. “It’s going to be far worse for him than it is for us”

“That doesn’t make our disturbed nights any easier, though, does it?” Liz said. “Is it going to be like this every night?”

“ _I_ don’t know, do I?” Flo frowned, trying not to get too defensive. “You can’t get annoyed at poor Peter for this. It’s not like he  _chooses_ to have nightmares”

Liz sat up. “I know. I’m just tired still. Jet-lagged, probably. Should we go to him?”

“I don’t think so. Loki told us to keep our distance last night, didn’t he? We should just go back to sleep”

“I suppose so” Liz said, lying back down. “What time is it?”

Flo checked her phone. “It’s only two o’ clock. We’ve got loads of time to sleep”

“I guess you’re right… Night, Flo”

“Night, Liz”

-

Tony pulled a chair out and sat Peter down at the kitchen table. Peter wasn’t very happy about it, but detaching him from Tony’s person was an easier task than anticipated. Tony turned the hob on, while Peter stayed where he was, crying into his hands. 

A few minutes later, Tony set a mug down on the table and sat beside Peter, putting an arm round his shoulders. Peter turned and cuddled into him, hiding his face.

“Alright, chick. Alright” he said gently. “You’re ok. It was just a dream”

“…I’m sorry..”

“What? Oh sweetheart. Hey, come here” Tony took his face in his hands so he had to look at him. “What are you saying sorry for?”

Peter pulled away from him. “… Waking you up.. and being a pain”

“Oh darling, you don’t need to be sorry! Oh sweetheart” he pulled him onto his lap, squeezing him tight and kissing his flushed face. “You didn’t ask to have a nightmare. Shh, come on, breathe, kiddo. I’ve got you. You’re ok”

“I don’t think I am…”

“You are. Here, give me your hand”

Tony didn’t need to say anything for Peter to know what they were doing. He breathed in time, watching Tony tracing the outline of his hand with his finger, holding his breathe and counting to ten once they reached the middle before carrying on.

“There we are” Tony said gently, lowering Peter’s hand but keeping hold of it. “Old trick still works: you’re much calmer now”

Peter took a deep, shaky breath, and let it out slowly. Tony kissed him on the cheek, took the mug from the table, and handed it to him.

“Drink. It’ll make you feel better”

Peter took the mug, although Tony kept a hand on it, supporting it in case he should drop it. Peter took a few mouthfuls, and stopped.

“What’s up?” Tony said.

“This isn’t just milk and honey” Peter said. “You’ve put something else in it”

“Just a bit of vanilla and cinnamon” 

“Oh… It’s good” 

Tony smiled slightly. “Drink up, then”

Peter did as he was told. He still felt quite funny and shaky and empty, but he was starting to feel better. The milk definitely helped. He took his time, and by the time he’d finished the whole mug, he’d stopped shaking.

Tony took the mug from him, setting it down on the table.

“Now then” Tony said, giving him a little cuddle. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Peter was quiet for a moment, and then shook his head.

“Ok. Are you ready to go back to sleep now?”

“… I don’t know”

“Worried that the dream’s lurking in your bed?”

Peter hesitated, but then nodded, grateful he didn’t have to say it himself. 

“Let’s go up. I noticed some kids books on the shelf on the landing. We’ll have a look at them for a little bit. Ok?”

Peter nodded. “Ok”

Tony stood up, so Peter had to as well. “Do you want me to carry you?”

“I’ll walk”

-

Tony grabbed a bunch of books from the shelf on the landing, and then settled on the bed in Peter’s room, with the boy on his lap, and pulled the covers round them. They spent a good 45 minutes with Tony reading to him, all funny short old kids books like the Mr Men and the Beatrix Potter books. Peter’s head began to nod, and he dropped off. Once Tony was certain he was asleep, he moved all the books aside, slid Peter off his lap, stood up, and tucked him in properly. He kissed the boy on the cheek, left the bedroom lamp on, and went back to his own room.

Tony considered waking Loki up, but instead just crawled into bed, nudged his way under his arm, and very quickly fell asleep.

-

Peter was the last up in the morning, which was only to be expected. He joined the others in the kitchen. 

“Morning, chick” Loki said. “Do you want a drink? Kettle’s just boiled”

“Uhh, yeah, tea, please” he said, sitting down next to Flo at the kitchen table.

“Hey” she said.

“Hey” Peter nodded. 

“Are you alright?” Liz said.

Peter looked at her. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks”

“Are you sure?” 

“Liz” Loki said, and shot her a warning glance. 

Liz sighed. “What are we doing today, then?”

“Didn’t you want to go and look in all those shops?” Peter said. “We could do that. There’s quite a lot to look in”

“Ooh, that sounds good to me!” Flo said. “I saw some lovely things just in shop windows yesterday. I might have to go overboard on souvenirs”

“Mm… It’s meant to be even warmer today” Peter said.

“Just remember the sun cream” Loki said, setting a mug down beside him.

“Thank you. Hey, daddy?”

“Yes?”

“Where’s dad?”

“Bath”

“Oh”

Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “What do you need, chick?”

“Uhh… we- we’re allowed to just go off and do our own thing today, aren’t we?”

“Oh, by all means” Loki said. “Go wild”

“Oh nice. Can we go now?”

“No. You need to have your breakfast first”

“How about I just get something while I’m out?”

“Peter” Loki said firmly. “Do as you’re told”

Peter sighed, but nodded and smiled. He didn’t feel like making a fuss: he had all day, after all.

*


	18. Finest Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick one, going out to people who have read my work(s) and noticed the various mentions of Loki's time in hospital. If you have noticed this, what are your theories about the reason for the hospital stay? I'm curious to see how close people get

-

It was quiet when Tony was out of the bath and dressed. Suspiciously quiet, he thought. He ventured downstairs, and found Loki in the living room with his book and a mug of tea.

“Where are the kids?”

“They’ve gone out” Loki said, lowering his book. “Shopping, I think”

“Oh. Right”

“Should I have kept them in?”

“Hm? No, it’s fine” Tony sat down next to him. “You’re shaking”

Loki looked at him. 

“Loki? Are you ok?”

“I’m tired” Loki said. “Don’t look so worried”

“…What do you want to do today?”

“I don’t mind. You choose” 

“Well, we could always get on the train to the next seaside town. I bet we can find a rough and ready pub for you”

“What about the children?”

Tony paused for a moment. “I’ll ring Peter and let him know. We can go and find them and give them a key, in case they need to come back at all. That’d be ok, wouldn’t it?”

“Whatever you think, darling”

-

Loki and Tony passed a key onto Peter and the girls, and then headed for the station. 

“What if we have an emergency?” Flo said.

“What are the chances?” Peter said. “They’ll probably only be gone a few hours. Come on, I thought you wanted to go shopping?”

“You worry too much, Flo. That’s your problem” Liz said. “We’re more than capable of looking after ourselves”

“Exactly” Peter said. “We can do whatever we want today. Enjoy it!”

-

Loki fell asleep as soon as he and Tony got back to the house that afternoon. Tony left him to it, and went for a little walk. He thought he could stroll down to the sands and enjoy the sea air. He managed this for a little while, aided by the beach being virtually empty. 

Tony spotted three figures on the rocks in the distance. ‘Idiots’ he thought, continuing along in their direction. He narrowed his eyes, peering at them.

“Oh god, those are my idiots”

Tony’s slow, relaxing walk was cut short, and he marched over to the rocks, got the three teens down, and scolded them for their reckless behaviour.

“Those signs are there for a reason, you know”

“Look, dad,  _everyone_ climbs on the rocks at the beach. We weren’t exactly in mortal danger”

“Don’t you answer back like that! It only takes one little slip. You might not have been hurt this time, but-” he stopped, noticing Peter’s leg. “You  _have_ hurt yourself!”

“Dad, it’s just a scratch”

“You’re bleeding!”

“It’s nothing! It’s not gonna kill me”

“Stop being cheeky” Tony said. “I think it’s time you three came back to the house. That wound needs a proper clean, Peter”

“I  _told_ you!” Flo said. “We should’ve gone back as soon as it happened”

“Flo, stop acting like a little old lady” Liz said, starting to get annoyed. “Are you seriously telling me you’ve never ended up with cut knees before?”

“Falling off a scooter is different! You two were jumping between those rocks like stepping stones”

“Yeah, and  _you_ were the first one to start climbing them” Peter said. 

“Wait, you were  _jumping_ between them? You really are a fool” Tony sighed, looking at Liz. “What’s up with your arm?”

Liz reluctantly moved her hand, showing him the large cut across her elbow. 

“Oh for the love of-”

Tony turned round, closing his eyes and counting to ten. He took a deep breath, and spun back round to look at them.

“Right, you silly lot; back to the house. We need to get you patched up” He took Peter’s hand, giving him a little tug. “Let’s go”

Peter looked at Liz and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t protest. His leg was hurting quite a bit now, and he was tired. A little rest at the house didn’t sound like a bad idea. 

-

Tony woke Loki up and roped him in to help when they got back to the house. Loki sat Peter on the kitchen unit and tended to his leg while Tony sorted Liz’s elbow.

“Honestly, Mr Stark, you don’t have to do this” Liz said.

“I do: your mum left me in charge of you. Hey, don’t look so worried: I’m not new to first aid”

“I’m embarrassed more than anything” Liz admitted. “I-… I’m still a bit nervous of you”

Tony looked at her for a moment. “Darling, being in the limelight doesn’t make me any less human. You should know by now that I’m just as much of an idiot as everyone else”

Liz couldn’t help smiling. “I wouldn’t say that… Why are you cutting the plaster like that?”

“It works better like this. It’ll stay in place without peeling off when you move your arm. Loki taught me this one. Only he’s better than me at it: he can cut it while it’s still in the wrapper and it’ll be the right size. Still doesn’t make any sense to me”

“It’s practice, my darling” Loki said, securing the dressing over Peter’s wound. “Every good nurse can do it”

“Yeah, I know. Still…”

“Right” Loki said, grabbing Peter under the arms and setting him back on his feet. “You need to be more careful: I don’t want to spend this whole trip patching you up”

“Ok, ok. It was an accident” Peter said, going over to Liz just as Tony finished. “How’s your arm?”

“It’s fine” she smiled at Tony. “Thank you, Mr Stark”

“No problem, kiddo. Hey, where’d Flo get to?”

“She’s writing postcards” Peter said. “She bought lots today”

“Ok. Good” Tony said, snapping the first aid box closed. “Right, you two, I need you to behave yourselves”

Liz and Peter looked at him.

“Loki and I are gonna pop out for a bit. Stay in the house, be good. Sort out those bags of yours or something. Can I trust you?”

“We’ll be good, promise” Peter said, crossing his heart. 

“Now, hold on” Loki said. “We’ve only just gotten back. You never asked me about going out again”

“Lolly, my darling, you love the coast, and you haven’t even been down to the sea yet. Come on, humour me. Romantic walks along the beach are right up your street”

“You’re an idiot” Loki said, sighing. “I’ll get my shoes on”

-

Tony sat on the beach, blinking in the evening light, and watching Loki, who was busy skimming stones across the water. They’d had a nice walk, stopping for a Mr Whippy partway down. They’d walked all the way to one end of the beach path and back again, and had settled on an empty stretch of coastline. 

“You know, I’ve been thinking” Tony said.

“That’s dangerous” Loki replied, skimming another stone.

Tony smiled. “I’m being serious, chick”

“Ok, so what is it?” Loki asked, crouching down to find some more likely stones. 

“Come here, and I’ll tell you”

Loki went to his side, half-lying, half sitting. “What is it?”

“Well, it’s sort of about us” Tony said, stroking Loki’s hair back behind his ears. “And sort of about Peter. And sort of not”

“Tony, darling, don’t turn this into a riddle”

“Sorry. It’s just, well… We’re doing ok, aren’t we?” he said, continuing to stroke his hair. “We’re pretty much there, aren’t we? Where Peter’s concerned?”

“I think we’ve been in the swing of things in that department for quite a while now, darling” Loki said. “Yes, he might still be a little cross about the suit, and a little poorly, but he’s ok. We’re ok. I like to think we’ve built a nice home life for the three of us”

“Three… Yeah, that’s what I wanted to talk about”

Loki took Tony’s hand. “What’s the matter? Are you worried about something?”

“No. No, not really. We’re settled, aren’t we? You and me and…”

“And the baby?” Loki said. 

Tony nodded. “I’ve been thinking. Maybe, we’re ready to… Maybe in a few months, we should start talking again”

“Tony, what did I just say about not turning this into a riddle?”

“Sorry, sorry” he squeezed Loki’s hand tight. “I don’t know how to say it”

“Whatever it is, just come out with it”

It still took Tony a little while to find the words, and to pluck up the courage to say them.

“Maybe, in a few months, we should start talking again” Tony repeated. He took a deep breath. “Maybe we could go back to the clinic”

Loki stopped and stared at him. “…You mean… you mean the IVF clinic?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. I think- I think we’re ready again, don’t you? I mean, we’re happy, we’re doing ok with Peter and everything. We could pick up from where we were before we lost May”

Loki could hardly speak. “You mean..?”

“Let’s do it, Loki. Let’s have a baby”

A sound that was a mix between a laugh and a cry escaped Loki, and he threw his arms round Tony. Tony hugged him tight, and he started crying too. 

“I know it’s still basically at trial stage, the whole three person thing” Loki said. “But it could work. It could-”

“Hey, hey, oh darling” Tony kissed him. “Don’t cry!”

“ _You’re_ crying!” Loki said, and he started crying properly. “Oh Tony-! Oh, but Tony! What about Pepper?”

“We’ll talk to her, of course we will” Tony said. “She might still be on board. If not, we’ll find someone else. We could do this, Loki. We’ll tie up some loose ends, and then we’ll make that call”

“We got so close before” 

“We just needed to get tested” Tony said, stroking Loki’s hair. “It’s just a formality. We can do this, Loki. Me and you. We can have a baby, we can make a scientific breakthrough, expand our family. You can put the baby moodboard to good use”

Loki buried his face in Tony’s shoulder. “I love you so much..! Thank you”

“What are you thanking me for? We both want this. Oh darling” Tony squeezed him tight, breathing in the cool sea air and trying to stop himself shaking. 

“Oh Tony” Loki kissed his neck firmly. “I don’t know what to say”

Tony moved back slightly, looking him in the eye. “I know. Neither do I! Lolly?”

Loki looked at him. “We’ve really ready for this, aren’t we?”

Tony grinned. “We’re gonna have a baby”

Loki laughed, still crying, and kissed Tony hard. Tony kissed him with just as much force. He pushed Loki onto his back, and they kissed and hugged and laughed and cried, perfectly happy with themselves and with the world.

-

Bumping into Peter in the street on the way back to the house was a bit of a shock. Tony darted and grabbed him by the collar before he could run away.

“And what exactly are you doing, young man?” he said. “We told you to stay in the house”

“I know, but, well, we, uh, we…” Peter stammered, trying to think of a valid excuse. “We were hungry! So we thought… uh, chip shop?”

Tony sighed and ruffled his hair fondly. “That’s probably not a bad idea. Ok, we’ll go down the chippy, and that’s tea sorted. What do you think, Lolly?”

“That’s fine with me” Loki said. “Perhaps we can get that fire pit out tonight”

-

Flo and Liz thoroughly enjoyed their first taste of real English chip shop food, and Peter, Loki, and Tony enjoyed revisiting it. They went out onto the back patio, where Tony set up the fire pit. He made everyone a hot chocolate, and supplied big bags of marshmallows and wooden kebab skewers to roast them on. The kids lounged on blankets and pillows, while Tony and Loki relaxed on two woven deckchairs. Loki had found a perfectly good guitar in one of the cupboards, and was sat strumming away at it gently, exploring the options.

“I never knew you could play the guitar, Loki” Flo said. “Who taught you?”

“I taught myself. I might not be able to read music, but I can play it”

“He’s right” Tony said. “He’s one of those people who can just listen to a song, and then be able to play it without much thought”

Peter blew out the fire from his marshmallow. “Dad, is that ‘Crocodile Shoes’?”

“Well spotted, chick” Loki said, continuing a moment, and then stopping. “Do you still remember all the words?”

“ _I_ do” Tony said. 

“I’m sure you do, my love” Loki said, playing the first few chords again, humming along softly.

“I think we can pick a  _happier_ song” Peter said.

“Oh? How about this one?”

Peter listened, and his eyes narrowed when he recognised it as ‘Troubled Man’.

“Dad, I said  _happier_ ”

Loki just laughed, and started another tune. 

“I don’t think I recognise this one” Peter said, listening.

Tony listened, and then a grin spread over his face, and he started singing.

“She sent him scented letters,  
And he received them with a strange delight,   
Just like, his wife   
But how she was before the tears,  
And how she was before the years flew by,  
And how she was when she was beau-ti-ful  
She signed the letter:  
All yours  
Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka-ya-ya!”

Loki laughed, but Peter nearly died on the spot, burying his face in his hands.

“You’re so embarrassing” he whined.

Liz and Flo just laughed.

“Hey, who doesn’t love a bit of Kate Bush?” Liz said, putting a hand under Peter’s chin and making him lift his head.

He smiled at her, and Loki noticed how they were looking at each. However, forever the gentleman, he chose to remain silent.

-

They seemed to settle in well together as the sun started to go down. They were warm enough by the fire pit, the kids full on hot chocolate and marshmallows, cuddled together in a sleepy heap. Tony had found himself unable to resist the urge to sing along to the soft tunes Loki was playing, and together they continued to provide a happy little soundtrack to the night.

“Oh, I know this one!” Peter exclaimed. “It’s Simon and Garfunkle, right?”

“Originally, yes, I believe” Loki said, eyes closed. “I must admit I prefer the Mumford and Sons version”

“Oh yeah, you like them, don’t you?”

“Shh, pet” Tony said.

Tony was also a fan of Mumford and Sons, and he knew why Loki had chosen this song - they always used to listen to it together, and Tony had always sung along. Which was what he did now.

“I am just a poor boy,  
Though my story’s seldom told,  
I squandered my resistance  
For a pocketful of mumbles  
Such are promises,  
All lies and jests  
Still the man hears what he wants to hear  
And disregards the rest”

Had the girls not been so happy with the situation, Peter wouldn’t have been able to relax. But, they were happy, and he was too. He looked at Loki, playing so expertly even with eyes closed, and at Tony, also with his eyes closed, singing softly, happily - and quite well too.

“Asking only workman’s wages  
I come looking for a job  
But I get no offers,  
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue,  
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome  
I took some comfort there”

There was something about being sung to that just warmed Peter’s heart, and he couldn’t help feeling that the conversation he’d had with Liz not so long ago had been fate - and that now, he was able to prove the point. There was something about Tony’s voice that just radiated feeling. And sharing that with his friends felt incredibly important.

“In the clearing stands a boxer  
And a fighter by his trade  
And he carries the reminders  
Of every glove that laid him down  
Or cut him till he cried out  
In his anger and his shame;  
I am leaving, I am leaving  
But the fighter still remains” 

-

Peter was so contented and relaxed by the fire that it came as an unwelcome shock when Tony said they needed to think about going to bed.

“Oh dad, please, it’s not so late!” Peter protested. “Just another hour?”

Tony laughed, exchanging a look with Loki. “Ok,  _half_ an hour, chick. Just because it’s you”

Peter nodded, relaxing back against Liz, while Loki resumed playing, and Tony started singing their funny little songs again.

“And the women tug their hair  
Like they’re trying to prove it won’t fall out,  
And all the men are gargoyles  
Dipped long in Irish stout” 

Liz and Flo looked at each other, giggling.

“The whole place is pickled,  
The people are pickles for sure  
And no-one knows if they’ve done more here  
Than they ever would do in a jar”

And with that, Loki found himself joining in with the singing.

“This could be Rotterdam or anywhere,  
Liverpool or Rome,  
‘cause Rotterdam is anywhere  
Anywhere alone,  
Anywhere alone”

Liz tried to catch Peter’s eye to laugh with him, but he had his eyes firmly fixed on his parents, a beautifully calm look in his eyes. Looking over at the grown-ups, she could see why: their love radiating in the most calming, yet enticing fashion.

- 

Tony finished tidying and locking up, and went upstairs. He knocked on the twin room door and went in.

“Hey, you three” he said gently. “Peter, darling, you need to go to your own room now. It’s bedtime” 

Peter allowed himself to be taken to bed. Tony quirked an eyebrow at him as he was tucking him in.

“What’s that look for, eh?”

“I’m just happy” Peter said. “It was nice hearing you sing”

“Aww. You’re so cute, did you know?”

“Yeah, you say that a lot” 

“Only because it’s true”

“I really do like it when you sing…”

“Are you hinting for a lullaby?” Tony said.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, stroking Peter’s hair gently.

“A gentle breeze, from Hushabye Mountain,  
Softly blows over Lullaby Bay,  
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting,  
Waiting to sail your worries away”

Peter went quiet. He wasn’t sure he’d heard this song before. 

“It isn’t far to Hushabye Mountain,  
And your boat waits down by the quay.  
The winds of night so softly are sighing,  
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea”

Tony sang so gently, stroking Peter’s hair all the while, making him feel so calm.

“So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain,  
Wave goodbye to cares of the day,  
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain  
Sail far away from Lullaby Bay”

Tony bent his head, and kissed Peter gently on the cheek.

-

Tony crawled into bed, careful not to wake Loki. He cuddled close to him, running his fingers though his hair. He was warm, unusually so. Tony wouldn’t pretend he hadn’t seen the signs: the look in his eye, the fight to stay awake, the gazing off into the distance. Somehow he had a feeling Loki might not be up to adventuring for a few days. But somehow, after the day they’d had, that didn’t matter. They’d explored the next seaside town, they’d had another walk here, they’d agreed to try again with the whole baby thing, they’d had the evening round the fire pit. Tony was perfectly happy just how things were.

-

Liz woke up around 1am. She lay there in happy silence, thinking about everything she’d felt over the past couple of days. She was enjoying this trip. She was  _happy_. She was happy having this serene, night time moment to herself.

The quiet didn’t last long. The scream made her jump. She decided straight away that she didn’t care what anyone else said: she couldn’t just sit by with her head under the pillow. She got up, ignoring Flo’s hissed protests, and rushed straight to Peter’s room, pulling her friend into her arms.

She’d expected the crying. What she hadn’t expected was everything else: Peter’s hands feeling like claws gripping the back of her pyjama top; the damp hotness as he cried into her shoulder; the heat of his body; the shaking; the pure desperation and terror in his cries. 

Despite how scary it all was, Liz held him as tight as she could.

“It’s ok. I’ve got you” she said. “It’s ok”

Peter clung to her. 

“Liz… Liz..!” 

He choked out her name, and that was all he had time to say before Tony’s strong arms were separating the pair, and he pulled his son into his arms. Liz stood trembling for a moment, before Loki appeared and guided her from the room, shutting the door behind them.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

It was the softest voice he’d used to address her. She looked at him, and all at once started crying. Loki hesitated, and then put an arm round her shoulders.

“Come with me”

-

Liz sat in the living room, curled up under Loki’s arm, crying softly into his chest while he held her close. 

“I’m sorry…” she said once she’d managed to stop crying.

“Don’t be” Loki said softly. “It’s not nice, I know”

“I-… I thought it was night terrors. You know, when people scream and stuff, but don’t actually know what’s happening, and don’t remember it” she said. “This is so much worse”

Loki kept his arm round her shoulders, and remained silent.

“Is it always like this?”

“No”

“Has he always had nightmares?”

“No” Loki was quiet for a moment, and then said; “He used to have them very occasionally. After the accident, he had them lots, and I really mean, lots. Multiple times a night. He’d been getting better. I don’t know what’s set him off this time: it’s been a while since he’s had them, especially to this extent”

“I don’t get it. He’s been so happy the last few days. Surely if you go to bed happy, you shouldn’t have nightmares?”

“That’s what I would have thought”

Liz swallowed. “Will he be ok?”

“Tony’s with him” Loki said. “He’s in the best possible hands”

“Is that what you tell people at work?”

“You mean at the hospital?” Loki clarified, and nodded. “Yes, and I’m right when I say it there, too”

They were both quiet for a minute or two, Liz listening to Loki’s heartbeat, and Loki trying to keep his eyes open.

“Loki?”

“Mm?”

“Thank you”

Loki paused. “Let’s get you back to bed”

-

Tony stayed rubbing Peter’s back for what felt like an eternity after he’d calmed down.

“…I don’t know what’s wrong with me” Peter said, breaking a long silence.

“You’re just poorly. Shh, Peter, darling, don’t start crying again” Tony said. “Everything’s ok. I’ve got you”

“It doesn’t make any sense” Peter’s voice cracked and he started crying again. “I was so happy before I went to sleep!”

Tony squeezed the boy tight. “Shh, sh sh sh. Hey, come on now, breathe. Shhh”

Peter cried quietly into Tony’s shoulder, too tired to even attempt to figure out what was going on. He listened to Tony, taking deep breaths, eventually settling once more. 

“That’s it. Good boy” Tony said. “Close your eyes now. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep”

“Promise?”

“I promise. I’m not going anywhere”

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Disclaimer regarding Tony and Loki’s beach scene: this is a work of fiction and so I have twisted fact a little bit to suit some ideals. The reality of 2 dad/1 mum babies born through IVF are more at concept stage, although 2 mum/1 dad babies are a reality which have the legal go-ahead in a number of countries. It’s something which scientists believe will be possible in the future, and it’s been successful in mice. As I understand it, it’s near to being given the go-ahead for human trials. Also, there are cases of people being born with 2 dads, through rare cases of embryo fusion and superfecundation, which is better read off Wikipedia than me trying to summarise it. Just adding this little note in case anyone is interested in 3 person babies]]


	19. All This Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days? Incredible, I'm kinda proud.
> 
> Anyway, I'm working hard to wrap this up, because I have plans for my next work in this series, and I really want to get started on it! There's still gonna be a good few more chapters of this first, though! Massive shoutout to everyone who's stuck around this long!

-

The string of disturbed nights finally got to Peter. He was teary-eyed and distant in the morning, not speaking much, and not feeling great all round. So when Tony’s prediction about Loki proved accurate, it was all Peter could do not to break down and start sobbing.

“It’s alright, kiddo. He just needs some time to rest” Tony said, squeezing the boys shoulder.

“It’s not fair” Peter said, tears dripping delicately down his cheeks. 

“Hey” Tony took Peter’s face in his hands so he had to look at him. “I know. But there’s nothing we can do, you know that. Look, you’ve got your friends. Why don’t you three get on the train and go over to the next town?”

Peter pulled away from Tony and stood up. “I’m not going”

“Oh Peter. Peter!”

But Peter wasn’t listening. Tony sighed heavily as the boy left the room. He looked at the girls.

“Just give him five minutes”

“What’s the matter with Loki?” Liz asked.

“He’s got M.E., and he gets these flare ups” Tony said.

“What’s M.E?”

“I can’t pronounce it. It’s like chronic fatigue syndrome. When he gets these flare-ups, it just knocks him out for a few days. Basically just makes him unbelievably tired”

“Ooh, right” Liz said. “Why’s Peter so upset?”

“He doesn’t like seeing him poorly. And I think he was counting on spending time with him this week”

“He’ll just have to cope with us instead, then” Liz said.

Tony looked at her, and smiled. “You tell him, girl”

-

As expected, Tony found Peter curled up under Loki’s arm. 

“You can’t stay here all day” Tony said, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb Loki.

“I don’t see why not” Peter mumbled.

“You need to go and spend time with your friends, and breathe in as much good, clean, sea air as is humanly possible. That’s why we’re here, remember?”

Peter didn’t respond. Tony carefully moved Loki’s arm, grabbed Peter round the chest, and lifted him off the bed and out onto the landing. 

“What did you do that for?!”

“Hey, keep your voice down”

“I wanna stay with daddy!”

“Tough” Tony all but snapped. “Go and get dressed and then go to the train station.  _I’ll_ stay with daddy. You go and have fun with your friends”

Peter scowled. Tony sighed and gave him a quick hug.

“Do as you’re told”

-

Despite it all, Peter was very soon glad of being pushed out of the house. They got on the train, and as it moved out of the station, Peter felt ok. Maybe it was the feeling of running away, or maybe it was the familiar sound of the trains wheels on the tracks. Whatever it was, he was grateful for it.

“So, what is there to do here?” Flo asked when they got off the train at the next town.

“I’m not sure: I didn’t look it up” Peter said. “I know there’s a big pier”

“Well then” Liz said, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Let’s just walk down there and see where the day takes us”

She took hold of Peter’s hand, and Flo took his other one. 

“What’s that look all about?” Liz said.

“Hm? Oh… It’s just… Well, you’re both so nice to me”

“Well, duh. We’re your friends, aren’t we?”

Peter couldn’t help but smile and nod. “Yeah, definitely”

Flo kissed him hard on the cheek. “We love you”

“I love you too”

-

The day trip proved a success. They spent a little while walking across by the sea, and they ventured onto the pier briefly, although Flo fussed that she felt like she was going to fall through the gaps. The town seemed to be a pretty small one, and the beach itself wasn’t as nice as the one where they were staying. But that was fine. They contented themselves with the little RNLI museum, and then spent a good hour or two looking in all the shops they could find. 

“It’s kinda like a ghost town, isn’t it?” Flo said, reading yet another ‘closed for the season’ notice in a cafe window. 

“It is a little odd” Peter said. “But, I suppose that’s just what these towns are like when you come off-peak”

“Hey, Peter?”

“Yeah?”

“We never did the arcade where we’re staying” Liz said. 

“Well, there’s still loads of time. We can go later. Might get something proper to eat first, though”

“Yeah, I’ll be ready for food when we get back” Liz said. “What were you thinking?”

“Chippy?”

“We had that yesterday” Flo said. “What about that pizza place? That looked nice”

“Sure. Liz?”

“Pizza sounds pretty good, actually”

“Ok, cool. So, when we get back, pizza, walk down to that kiosk for a Mr Whippy, and then go to the arcade. Ok?”

The girls smiled, and nodded.

“Brilliant”

-

“Ok wow” Flo said, looking down at her pizza. “I think maybe we should’ve just gotten a couple to share. These are huge!”

“They’re not  _that_ big”

“No, she’s right, Liz: they’re huge” Peter said, picking up a slice and biting into it. “Oh my god..”

The girls followed suit, and they all looked at each other with the same expression.

“Ok wow, these are amazing!” Flo said. “This was such a good idea”

“Even if you do say so yourself!”

Liz soon started to realise that, yes, these pizzas were indeed huge.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to finish this” she admitted.

“Me neither!” Peter said. “We can always get the rest boxed up and drop them back off at the house before we head down the street”

They were sat near to the kitchen doors, and had seen the chef taking the takeaway orders out, so were confident they could get them boxed up. Two meals for the price of one, Peter thought. 

-

“Oh, wait!” Peter said. “I’m just gonna run into Tesco quickly”

“We were just gonna drop these boxes off!” Liz said. “Can’t you wait?”

“No, I need to get something. You can wait outside if you like”

Liz rolled her eyes, and leant against the wall. Flo joined her. Peter just smiled.

“I’ll be quick!”

-

Tony was in the kitchen when they got back to the house.

“Hey, kids” he said. “What’ve you got there?”

“Leftover pizza” Liz said. “We went to this amazing pizza joint on the main street. The pizzas were huge!”

Tony smiled. “Nice! How was your little train trip?”

“It was good” Flo said.

Tony looked over at Peter. “What’ve you got there, kiddo?”

“Lucozade” Peter said, putting the big bottles down beside Tony. “For daddy”

“Aw, that’s sweet, chick, but I already got him some”

“Well, now he’s got more” Peter said.

Tony ruffled his hair fondly. “You’re a good kid”

“How is he?”

“You don’t need to go worrying about him” Tony said, twisting the bread bag shut. “I’m just getting him something to eat. What are you lot doing now?”

“We’re going down to that kiosk for an ice cream” Liz said.

“The one with the lady with foundation lips?” Tony said, nodding when Liz did. “She’s lovely. Get yourselves the large ones, with flakes”

“Of course” Peter smiled. “It’s not a proper Mr Whippy without a flake”

“I’ll give you that” Tony said. “Any other plans while you’re down there?”

“I thought we might wander onto the beach, climb the rocks”

Tony glared at him.

“I’m joking!”

“Well don’t, you cheeky blighter” Tony said, tweaking his nose. “Stay away from the rocks”

“We were gonna go down the arcade”

“Good idea” Tony said. “Just stay away from those bloody claw machines”

“Yeah yeah, will do. See you later!”

“See you later. Be good!”

-

They leant against the wall overlooking the sea while they had their ice creams, just as they had done the first time. Once they’d finished, they turned back and headed to the arcade. Despite what Tony had said, they did have a go on the claw machines, tempted by the toys with £20 notes tied to them.

“It’s a total scam” Peter said once they’d lost £5 trying. “Let’s see if they’ve got one of those pay till you win grabbers. At least then you know you’ll get something out of it”

They soon found one, full with little purple and blue rabbits and teddies with tiny silver spots.

“Gotta love a bit of seaside tat” Peter said, slotting a pound into the machine. 

“It does take some of the fun out of it, though, getting them so quickly” Flo said, watching Peter grab his toy from the prize return.

“It still kinda feels good to win though” Peter said, turning the little purple rabbit over in his hands. “What should I call it?”

Flo peered at it. “It’s sort of ugly, isn’t it?”

“Don’t talk to my son like that!” 

Flo giggled. “You can name it later”

“It’s not his fault he’s got tiny ears and a big head and no tail” Peter said, tucking the rabbits feet under his hoodie so it stayed sat on his shoulder.

“Poor seaside rabbit” Liz said, putting a pound in the machine. “My turn”

She won a similarly unfortunate looking toy, this time a light blue bear. 

“His ears are kinda rectangular” she said. “He doesn’t have a tail either. And one side of his snout is thicker than the other side”

“Poor little teddy” Peter said. 

“Yes, poor little teddy” Liz said. “I love him anyway, though”

“What are you gonna call him?”

Liz thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it properly later”

She tucked the bear through her shoulder strap, keeping it securely on the front of her shoulder. She gave Flo a nudge.

“Your turn” she said.

“No thanks” Flo said. “I don’t really want one”

“Spoilsport” Peter said, sticking his tongue out at her.

Flo stuck her tongue out at him. “I’ll get something else”

“Sure you will”

-

They stumbled across another prize every time game; a kind of rotating lollipop game. Peter wasn’t quite sure how it worked, but Flo figured it out. Once she’d finished, she stood up, holding up five chupa-chups triumphantly.

“Told you I’d get something else”

“Ours will last longer” Liz said. 

“Doesn’t matter”

Liz rolled her eyes, but she shook her head fondly. She turned to look at Peter, only to find he wasn’t at her side anymore.

“Peter?”

They heard a clattering, and turned to see Peter stood by a change machine, watching 2p coins falling into a little plastic tub.

“How much did you put in that machine?”

“Just a couple of quid” Peter said. “One of these penny-pushers has got a £5 note right at the end. I bet I can get it”

He picked up the tub of coins, gathering the few that had missed it, and went over to his chosen machine. The girls followed. Peter was right; there was a £5 note in the centre of the bottom shelf, partially hanging over the end. To all intents and purposes, it looked like it was ready to drop. But, the other part of it was heavily weighed down with coins.

“It’s a fix, Peter” Liz said. “You’ll never get that”

“I can try”

“Then you’ll be sorely disappointed”

-

Liz was right, of course. He spent a long time stood by the machine, feeding his coins into it, even after the girls got bored and wandering off for a bit. He managed to get a lot of coins out, but that was it. He kept listening out, occasionally darting to an unoccupied machine to grab coins that had fallen, trying to put off getting his wallet out again. He didn’t understand how it was fixed. It couldn’t be magnets, because copper wasn’t magnetic. He thought maybe there was a slope of sorts keeping the £5 fixed firmly in place. He scowled. He knew he should probably give up. 

“How much have you put into that machine now?” Liz said, appearing at his side.

“…More than a fiver” Peter admitted. 

“You need to stop”

“I did win this, though” he said, holding up a little woven bracelet, pink with rainbow beads.

“It’s beautiful” Liz said, raising an eyebrow. “That £5 isn’t going to come out”

“I know” Peter said mournfully. “Still, I bet I can get that other bracelet. It’s close to the edge”

Liz peered in his tub of coins.

“Right, ok, try for the bracelet, and then we’re going. If you haven’t got it by the time that tub is empty, I will literally drag you away by the ear”

Flo appeared at Peter’s other side. “Hi”

Peter gave her the little rainbow bracelet. “Merry Christmas”

“Oh! Thank you..”

She watched with Liz as Peter continued feeding coins into the penny-pusher. Peter’s coins were diminishing, and it was starting to look even more hopeless. The bracelet was tottering when Peter reached his last coin. He paused, and then they all held their breath as he put that last 2p into the machine. They watched the shelf and coins move - and the bracelet fell into the prize return.

“Yes!!”

Peter grabbed it happily. It was chunky, with silver and red alternating beads. Peter gave it to Liz.

“I love it” she said, slipping it onto her wrist, and then putting an arm firmly round his shoulders, careful not to dislodge his rabbit. “Lets go”

Peter took one last look at the £5 he’d spent so long trying to get, and then let himself be lead away.

-

The early evening breeze was a bit of a shock. They collectively decided to head back to the house. Peter brushed his hair out of his eyes, and stopped.

“What? Oh my god, look at this”

His thumb and forefinger were black. 

“Ew. Those coins must’ve been filthy!” Flo said.

“That’s… disgusting. Just a little bit” Peter said, wiping his hand on his jeans, which didn’t make much difference. “Hm. Yknow, I love you guys, but I’m abandoning you for a really long bath as soon as we get back”

-

Peter took his time in the bath. He usually had showers, and having a long soak was a nice change. He’d snuck into the en-suite in his parents room and nabbed the bottle of black pepper and ginseng bath soak Loki had brought with him, and poured a healthy amount into his bath. He had a good wash, and then spent a long time just lying in the hot water, watching the steam rising from the bath, and daydreaming. 

The water was getting cold by the time he climbed out of the bath. He wrapped himself up in a big towel, checked the coast was clear, and scurried to his own room, flopping on the bed. He felt funny, full and warm and happy. He was tired. Maybe an early night would be a good idea. He sighed, looking at the funny rabbit toy he’d won earlier on, and rested his eyes, just for a moment

-

Peter jumped awake, grabbing the wrist of whoever it was shaking his shoulder.

“Woah, hey, it’s just me. It’s dad” Tony said, stroking the boys hair firmly to reassure him. “It’s just me”

“Oh..” Peter let go of him, heart still thudding. “Sorry. You made me jump… I think I dropped off”

“Yeah, still in your bath towel, too” Tony smiled. “Put something on, give your hair a quick brush, and then come downstairs: tea’ll be ready soon”

“Ok, ok. I’ll be quick”

“Good boy”

-

Flo blinked a little when Peter came down to the kitchen, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What?” Peter said, somewhat defensive.

“You look cute!”

Tony laughed before Peter could reply.

“Sit down, kiddo. You’re just in time” Tony said, serving the three teens.

“Is daddy joining us?”

“No, he’s not doing too great. I’m gonna go and eat with him”

“He won’t like being woken up”

“You’re telling me! He nearly knocked me out when I woke him up for lunch earlier” Tony said, readying a tray. 

“Ouch”

“Ouch indeed” he ruffled Peter’s hair. “Be good. I’ll be back down later”

“Why does he wake him up if it makes him cross?” Liz asked once Tony had gone upstairs.

“If he doesn’t, daddy doesn’t eat. And then he just gets worse” Peter said. “He’s jus’ trying to look after him”

“Cute” Flo said, picking up her fork. “Did you fall asleep?”

Peter nodded. “I only meant to rest my eyes for a minute”

“Can I say something?”

Peter and Flo looked at her.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a carbonara before”

Peter very nearly choked on his mouthful of food. He swallowed quickly, and coughed.

“I thought you were gonna say something serious!” he spluttered. “You had me worried for half a second there”

Liz reached across the table and tugged a lock of his hair sharply. 

“Don’t laugh at me! I’ll fight you”

“I’ll fight you right back” Peter said. “Don’t think I won’t”

Liz put her fork down and stood up. “Come on, then. I challenge you to a duel!”

“You’re on!”

Flo grabbed Peter’s arm as he jumped up. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“I’ve been  _challenged_ , Flo: I need to defend my honour!”

“But if you start crashing about, you’ll disturb your parents. You’re going to get into trouble” Flo said. “Especially if you end up breaking something”

Peter shook her hand off. “I’m willing to take that risk”

Liz pounced at him, and it wasn’t long before they were entwined in a mad wrestle on the kitchen floor. 

“You’re idiots, both of you” Flo said, trying to ignore them and continue eating. 

“You could always join in” Peter suggested, pinning Liz’s hands by her head.

“No, thank you. I want to remain an innocent party to your foolishness”

“A Millicent Bystander?” Peter grinned, laughing at his own joke.

“What does that even mean?” Liz said, bringing her knee up and knocking Peter off.

“Oh yeah, you haven’t seen Flushed Away; I remember you saying” Peter said, grabbing her upper arms. “We’ll have to watch it sometime. I haven’t seen it for ages, but Millicent Bystander still makes me laugh every time I think about it”

“Sure. Now less talking, more fighting”

They started getting louder, and a lot rougher. Flo couldn’t ignore them. She half-shielded her eyes with one hand, embarrassed, and a little nervous.

“You two need to stop”

“Absolutely not!” they said in unison.

Flo tensed as she heard footsteps. It wasn’t long before her prediction came true, and Tony burst into the kitchen.

“What the hell is going on down here?!” he shouted, grabbing Peter round the chest and hauling him off Liz.

“We’re just having a duel!” Peter said, grinning up at him.

Tony didn’t smile back. “You know full well your father’s not very well, and yet you still think it’s acceptable to start crashing about and shrieking like a couple of little banshees? What’s wrong with you?”

“We’re just having a bit of fun” Peter said, his smile falling. 

“You should be eating” Tony scowled. “Liz, get off the floor”

Liz did as she was told.

“I  _told_ you!” Flo said.

“You should’ve told them with a bit more force” Tony said, releasing Peter. “Now sit down and shut up and eat like a good boy. If I hear so much as a slightly raised voice from this room, there’ll be big trouble. Understand?”

Peter nodded, taking his place at the table. 

“So, who won?” he said.

“I did, obviously” Liz said.

“You did not!” Peter said, jumping up and slamming his hands down on the table.

“PETER!” Tony snapped, marching over and smacking him hard on the bottom. “What did I just say?”

Peter flinched, and slowly sank back into his seat.

“Don’t you dare move from that seat until you’ve finished your tea. Now all of you, be good, and for gods sake, be  _quiet_!”

And with that, he stalked out of the room.

“I told you you’d get into trouble” Flo grumbled, picking her fork back up.

Peter rolled his eyes, picking up his own fork.

“Wanna call it a draw?” Liz said gently. 

Peter nodded, but he didn’t look at her.

“Hey” Liz reached across the table, moving his fork and taking his hand. “Are you ok?”

Peter took a deep breath, and squeezed her hand. 

“It’s your own fault” Flo said, setting her fork down.

Peter pulled his hand away from Liz and pushed Flo off her chair.

“Peter!”

Flo scrambled to her feet. “Fine, if it’s going to be like that-”

She pushed Peter off his chair. Peter sat in shock for a moment, and then jumped up and went for her. 

“Hey! Peter!” Liz jumped up and tried to get in between them. She hadn’t anticipated Flo’s strength or Peter’s anger, and it was too much for her to cope with single-handedly. “MR STARK!!”

Tony appeared again in a matter of seconds.

“Hey, are you two  _fighting_?! Flo!” he tore Peter away from the girls, and pushed Flo into a chair. “What the hell is going on?! You two never so much as argue!”

“She started it!” Peter shouted. 

“I did not! You pushed me first!”

“Flo, stop this! You’re supposed to be the good one”

Flo sat down and went quiet, angry tears in her eyes. 

“Oh yeah, that’s it, start with the crocodile tears” Peter spat. “You  _did_ start it, saying-”

“Right, that’s it, you’re on a time out, young man” Tony grabbed hold of him, throwing him over his shoulder.

Peter shrieked indignantly, bringing his fists down against his back. “Put me down! You’re so embarrassing!”

-

Tony plonked Peter down on the stairs. Peter tried to get up straight away, but Tony grabbed him and held him there, despite his struggling.

“Stop this! Peter! Calm down!” he said, more worried than angry. “What’s the matter with you?!”

Peter gave him a shove, drew his knees up to his chest, and buried his face in them. Tony sighed heavily, rested a hand on his head for a moment, and then went back to the kitchen, shutting the door behind him.

“Right, what was that all about?” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “You two have never had a bad word to say about each other, and now I find you  _fighting_!? What happened?”

“He got upset because he got into trouble, which I told him he would if he started clattering about” Flo said. “And then he pushed me off my seat, so I pushed him off his”

“You said it was his fault” Liz said.

“It was!”

“Yeah, but you don’t  _say_ that, especially when he was upset like that! It was my fault too, and you were just rubbing salt in his wounds. I would’ve pushed you off your seat too, and a lot worse besides!”

She stood up and stormed out of the room. 

“Liz? Liz!” 

She ignored him. He heard the back door bang.

Tony sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. He looked at Flo.

“Are you ok?”

“I didn’t start it, and I didn’t do anything wrong” she said, picking up her fork and turning away from him. 

Tony sighed. “Ok”

-

Tony found Liz out on the patio.

“She’s just so annoying!” Liz said as soon as he’d closed the door behind him. “Why does she have to be so perfect all of the time? I mean, how would she feel if  _her_ dad had told her off and someone basically just told her to suck it up?”

Tony just listened to her, not saying anything.

“I know he shouldn’t’ve pushed her, but I can’t really blame him. She was just-”

“Liz” Tony interrupted. 

Liz looked at him, and promptly burst into tears. She let him hug her, and buried her face in his shoulder. Tony rubbed her back gently, resting his cheek against her head.

“I know, chick. I know”

“I’m sorry-!”

“Don’t be. Peter spends a good 20-30% of his life screaming into my shoulder. There’s not a single shirt in my wardrobe that hasn’t had a tear-bath by now”

Liz laughed feebly at his little joke, but then continued crying. She felt awful, but she also felt safe in Tony’s arms. She’d felt safe in Loki’s during the night, too. They were both well practised. She’d cried on both of them now. Somehow, she didn’t feel embarrassed about that.

-

Once Liz had stopped crying, her and Tony had a good, long talk about everything, and it helped.

“Thank you” she said.

“No problem, chick. We all need a good cry and a bitch sometimes”

“Yeah… Oh, shouldn’t you be with Loki?!”

“He’ll be fine; he’ll be asleep again by now” Tony said.

“Did he eat?”

“He had about half his plate, which is better than I expected”

“Does it upset you? Seeing him ill?”

“Every time” Tony said. “But sometimes it’s easier than other times”

“And this time?”

“It’s easier. We… Well, we’ve had some good things happen, and I think we’re both using that to keep us up” Tony stood up, holding a hand out to her. “Come on. We should go back in. You can go and make up with Flo, and I’ll go and have a word with Peter”

Liz stood up and took his hand. Tony squeezed it gently.

“Ready?”

Liz nodded. “Ready”

-

Flo was curled up on the living room sofa with a book. She looked up when Liz came into the room. Liz hesitated, and then went over and sat beside her. Flo offered her the bag of sherbet lemons she had with her. Liz took one. The girls smiled at each other, and that was all it took.

-

Tony sat down next to Peter on the stairs. Peter was sat slumped against the wall, looking down at his hands.

“Liz told me everything” Tony said. “I can see why you got so upset”

“…I wish she wasn’t so perfect all the time” Peter said. “It’s so annoying”

“That’s just what Liz said” Tony sighed. “She’s not perfect, chick. She was pretty inconsiderate and smug, if you ask me, whether she intended it or not. Plus, she did escalate the situation. That doesn’t excuse what you did, mind”

“She was kinda asking for it”

“That’s no excuse. Play fighting? In the right situation, fine. Starting a proper physical fight with someone you love? Not ok. Absolutely not ok” Tony said. “That’s not like you. Something’s going on with you, kiddo. I don’t know what it is, but something made you lash out, and something’s made your nightmares flare up. Any ideas?”

Peter shrugged. “It’s just coincidence”

Tony sighed, putting an arm round Peter’s shoulders. Peter froze, but then melted into him, resting his head against his chest. He stayed like that for a moment, and then turned and hugged him properly, squashing his nose up against his chest.

“It’s alright, kiddo. I’ve got you” Tony said, squeezing him tight.

“Am I in trouble?”

“No. I’m not happy with you, but you’re not in trouble. This is something you need to sort out with Flo. So. How do you feel? Ready to forgive her yet?”

“No”

“I didn’t think so” 

“I want you to go now”

Tony looked down at him, and slowly let him go. Peter lent back against the wall. Tony sighed, and went to sort out the kitchen.

-

After a very frank conversation with Liz, Flo went out into the hallway. She hesitated a moment before sitting down beside Peter on the stairs. Peter glanced at her, but otherwise didn’t move. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Peter not wanting to speak, Flo trying to find the courage to.

“I’m sorry” she said eventually.

Peter sat up and looked at her.

“I wasn’t very nice to you earlier. I’m sorry for upsetting you. I shouldn’t’ve acted the way I did”

Slowly, Peter shifted closer to her, and wound his arms round her. Flo hugged him back, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you” Peter said.

“Don’t mention it”

-

Tony went upstairs to sort out the tray and check on Loki, and once he’d finished, he went through to the living room. He just about fainted with relief when he saw Peter, Liz, and Flo curled up close, watching a film and looking perfectly happy together. It looked like the little blip was over.

-

Tony knocked on the twin room door and pushed it open. The three teens were collapsed in a giggling heap.

“What are you three laughing about?” he said, amused.

“Nothing, dad” Peter said.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “What a naughty giggle, Flo. I’ve decided I don’t want to know. Now, you know what I’m here to say, don’t you?”

The girls nodded. “Bedtime”

“That’s it. Go on, go and get yourselves ready”

“Bagsy the bathroom first” Liz said, grabbing her night things and rushing off.

“Come on, Peter, same goes for you” Tony said, and then, when the boy didn’t move; “Peter?”

Peter blinked hard, and stood up. He gave Flo a quick hug, and then skirted round his dad and went to his room.

-

Tony went and shut everything down and locked up downstairs before going back upstairs to check on Peter. The boy was sat on the floor, pretending to look through his postcards.

“Peter” Tony said. “Come on, jump into bed now”

Peter looked up at him. “Do I have to?”

“Uh, yes, you do: it’s nearly midnight” Tony said. “Come on now”

Peter swallowed, looking away. “I don’t want to”

“Why not?”

Peter didn’t say anything. Tony sat down next to him.

“Peter” he said gently. “Why don’t you want to go to bed?”

Peter still didn’t answer.

“Come on kiddo, talk to-” he stopped, having a thought. He lowered his voice. “Are you scared of having another nightmare?”

Peter nodded. Tony sighed, putting an arm round his shoulders.

“Poor old tuppenny. You’ve had a tough few nights, haven’t you?” he kissed him on the temple. “You need to try to sleep, kiddo”

Peter looked over at the bed, as though the nightmare was already lurking there. He really didn’t want to go to bed. He’d only wake up screaming again, and not only was it scary and exhausting and horrible, it was embarrassing too. He didn’t know what to do. Unless…

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?”

Tony looked at him. “Sweetheart…”

“I don’t have nightmares when I sleep next to people. Hardly ever. Please?”

Tony looked into his big puppy dog eyes, and sighed silently. “Ok”

-

Loki was in a brief state of wakefulness when Tony carried Peter into the bedroom.

“He’s sleeping in here tonight, my love” Tony said, setting the boy down on the bed and going to the en suite. 

Peter wriggled under the covers, facing Loki.

“Nightmare prevention tactics?”

Peter nodded. “How are you feeling?”

“…Nothing feels real” he said. “How long have I been asleep for?”

“I don’t know, exactly”

“Is it today or tomorrow?”

Peter blinked a bit, thinking. “It’s today. You were ok yesterday. Now it’s the end of today”

“Ah good, now I know where I stand” Loki yawned. “Can you.. can you pass me my pig?”

Peter sat up, finding the old toy and giving it to him. 

“Thanks, chick…”

Loki settled down and closed his eyes, and his breathing soon slowed. Tony came back into the bedroom, turning the main light off and the lamp on to its dimmest setting.

“One down, two to go” Tony said, climbing into bed. “Lie down now, kiddo. Sleep time”

Peter did as he was told, cuddling up against his father’s chest. Tony held him close, pulling the covers round the three of them properly. 

“Goodnight, kiddo”

“Goodnight, dad”

Peter snuggled close, warm and safe between his parents. He closed his eyes, and fell asleep listening to the sound of Tony’s heartbeat.

*


	20. Me and You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll! Three chapter in as many days! Only one-three more chapters left on this fic - I haven't worked out exactly how many yet! As always, comments welcome!
> 
> As a side note: By some mad coincidence by way of my mix on youtube, I ending up listening to There’s A Kind Of Hush by The Carpenters while I wrote the Liz+Peter scene, so if you want a soundtrack for the end, there you have it!

-

Peter slept peacefully. He woke up in the morning feeling rested and content. 

“So, was an argument all you needed to get all the nightmare stuff out of your system?” Liz asked at breakfast.

“Uhhh, I don’t really think that’s how it works” Peter said.

“You did sleep better last night though, didn’t you? Something must have helped”

“Yeah…” Peter looked over at Flo, who was talking to Tony over by the fridge. “I- uh… I slept in my parents bed last night”

He could feel himself turning red. Liz blinked a bit.

“Oh” she said. 

“You think I’m a big baby, don’t you?”

“Oh yes, definitely” she smiled at him. “Well, if it helps, there’s nothing wrong with that. I just can’t imagine crawling in with  _mine_ ”

“Mm. I never usually have nightmares if I’m next to people”

“When did you realise that one?”

“…Some time after the accident. I used to be able to sleep better during the day, too. Without the nightmares” Peter shook his head. “So, what do you want to do today?”

“Relax. Let’s spend the day by the sea. Didn’t your parents say we’re here for sea air? Let’s make the most of it while we can”

-

Somehow, they managed to while a full day away on the beach. It was hot, and they were happy enough splashing about in the sea and then lounging about reading afterwards. They had a few little breaks to go and get ice creams, and then up to the chippy for lunch later on. 

Tony joined them some time in the afternoon, and they had a mad game of tag (Tony wisely spurned Flo’s suggestion of Stuck In The Mud). While they were running about, Tony couldn’t help imagining having a little toddler tottering about with them, and Loki joining in and giving the little kid the upper hand in every game. It was a dream that was starting to feel like a reality already. Tony was happy. He caught hold of Peter and kissed his neck and tickled his tummy, making the boy squeak and laugh and wriggle. Tony loved hearing him laugh, seeing him smile. Seeing him happy. That was the way he should always be.

-

“Can you believe this our fifth night here?” Peter said, sitting cross-legged on the bed while Tony got ready for bed.

“It’s gone so quickly” Tony said. “It’ll be sad to go home”

“Yeah, it will. I like it here. I’m getting used to it. I think the salty taste on my lips is permanent now. I like being by the sea”

“Me too, kiddo” he paused, looking at Loki and sighing sadly. “Poor daddy. He loves the sea too, and he’s basically missed out on half the holiday”

“He’ll be better tomorrow. He’ll be up and about, you’ll see”

“I hope so” Tony said, climbing into bed and pulling Peter close, tucking the covers round them. “You wore yourself out today”

“It  _was_ a pretty active day” Peter said. “It was good though”

“You’ve been fighting sleep since about half five. Time to settle down now, pet”

“Ok” Peter nodded, cuddling close. “Goodnight, dad”

“Goodnight, son”

-

Peter was right, to an extent. When he and the girls got back to the house the next evening, they found Loki sat in the kitchen with Tony, nursing a mug of tea.

“Daddy! You’re up!”

Loki put his mug down so his drink wouldn’t spill when Peter bounded over and jumped into his lap.

“Are you getting better now?” Peter asked, hugging him tight.

“I think so” Loki said, giving Peter a hug and kissing his cheek. “I’m getting there”

“Good” Peter said. “I want you to come out with us”

“Not today, pet. Maybe tomorrow, if I’m up to it”

Peter pouted, but didn’t push him. Loki picked his mug back up, taking a drink.

“What did you get up to today?”

“We’ve just been messing about on the beach, mostly, and looking in the shops again” Peter said, omitting the fact they’d also been climbing on the rocks. 

“Ah, how lovely. You’ve been swimming, haven’t you?”

“Well. Paddling” Peter said. “But the waves were pretty big, so we got wet”

“I thought as much: I could taste the salt on you, and I can smell it, too”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It’s not a bad thing” Loki said, tipping the boy off his lap. “Go and spend some time with your friends”

“We’ve been together all day!” Peter protested. “Can’t I stay with you for a bit?”

“I love you, darling, but you’re too energetic for me right now. Run along”

Peter looked at Tony for help. Tony shrugged.

“Better do as you’re told, pet”

-

Flo pushed a postcard at Peter, and another one at Liz. 

“Can you write on these?” she asked. 

“What do you want us to write?” Peter asked.

“Anything. Just anything” Flo said. “Maybe… Write it as though I’m not here, and you’re sending it to me. Or something. I don’t know”

Peter and Liz looked at each other, and shrugged.

“Have you got a pen?”

They both had a think, and then set to writing. Liz looked at the picture of seals on her postcard.

_Dear Flo,_

_It’s a shame we didn’t get to see any seals, considering all the signs saying to look out for them! Maybe it’s the wrong time of year - or maybe we’re just unlucky! It’s been fun hanging out with you this week. I can see why Peter likes you.. and Loki and Tony. I think I’ll miss you when I go back home. We’ll have to stay in touch!_

_Love from Liz xx_

Peter looked at the picture of the seafront on his postcard.

_Dear Flo,_

_Remember that text you sent me, promising salty kisses? Liar._

_I’m joking; I don’t mind. Thanks for being here. It’s good being able to hang out with you in a completely different setting. I can’t believe that you’d never been to England before, when you grew up in so much money and went on holidays so often. Still, you’ve been now, so you can tick it off the list. Millie knows, but Macy’ll probably go mad when she finds out. You know what she’s like._

_Lots of love, Peter xxx <3_

_-_

Flo looked at Liz and Peter, talking quietly beside her, and Tony, scrolling on his tablet on the armchair.

“I’m tired” she said. “Is it ok if I have an early night?”

Tony looked up. “Sure. You don’t have to ask”

“Thank you” she gave Peter and Liz a hug, and then got up. 

“Goodnight, Flo”

“Night, Peter” she paused by Tony’s chair, and then hugged him too.

Tony hugged her back. “Goodnight, Flopsy. See you in the morning”

-

Flo knocked on the master bedroom door, and pushed it open. Loki was just in his towel, having only just gotten out of the bath.

“Oh, it’s you” he said, sitting down on the bed. “Everything ok?”

“I was wondering if you’d do something for me”

Loki gestured to the space beside him on the bed, and she sat down obediently.

“What have you got there?”

Flo showed him the postcard and pen in her hands. “I’ve always bought lots of postcards on holiday, ever since I was a tiny girl”

“I’m a bit of a one for postcards, too” Loki said. “Back when Tony and I first got together, and I was still living with my brother, he used to send me postcards every time he went away, even if he was only gone for one night. I’ve still got them all in a shoe box somewhere. I buy my own everywhere I go now, too”

“That’s so cute” she looked at her hands, and the postcard. “Ever since I was tiny, whenever I went on holiday with my dad, he’d always take one of my postcards and write on it, even though we were both there together. He always put how old I was at the time on them. I’ve got them all in a photo album, and I like looking through them, seeing how the way he talked changed through the years. I like looking at them when I’m sad, because then I can remember all those good moments. Do you understand?”

“I do” Loki said. “I’ve never met your father. Is he nice?”

Flo nodded. “He’s lovely. You might like him. I think Tony definitely would. He’s an architect, and he loves the Stark Industry stuff, even though it’s outside of his remit”

“What about your mother?”

Flo was quiet for a moment. “She doesn’t like me much”

“What? Now, I’m sure that’s not true” Loki said. “Everyone likes you. Why wouldn’t she?”

“I’m not like her. I think that’s always annoyed her a bit. Dad said we never really got time to bond. She went away when I was little”

“I see”

“No you don’t” Flo looked at him. “She got cancer, when I was small. Too small to remember. She went away and lived with her parents. She took my sister, but left me with dad. It took her a long time to fight it. She didn’t come home until I was nearly five, but we used to visit. I was different from her even back then. She blamed my dad”

“Different how?”

“Well. I know it sounds silly, but different in how I dress, and the things I like. She didn’t like it when I showed up in frilly dresses and pink. She was always trying to put me in dungarees and little jeans and stuff, but I never liked it. It still annoys her now that I don’t wear that kind of thing. She’s always been a tomboy, as long as I can remember, and definitely before. She likes that, she wants me to be the same. But I like dresses… She doesn’t like my personality either”

“What’s not to like? You’re a lovely girl. And you certainly know how to keep people in order”

“I don’t think so” Flo said. “She says I’m too polite and timid. I think she always wanted feisty kids”

“What’s your sister like?”

“Well, she’s like my mothers mini-me. She’s older, she’s nearly thirty, so she doesn’t live with us anymore. I don’t see her very often, but we Skype. But she’s definitely way more like mother. I think she was my mothers vision, her dream child, and then I was… me”

Loki put an arm round her shoulders.

“I love my sister, but it’s annoying sometimes, because she can do no wrong, and I can do no right”

“Believe me, Flo, I know exactly what it’s like to live in someone’s shadow. Just count yourself lucky you’re not closer in age. My brother and I were constantly compared. In that mans eyes, I can still do no right. You learn not to care. Or at least, you learn not to care so much. You can’t really change what you like, and you can only change yourself to a certain extent. If I were you, I wouldn’t bother. Your father loves you, and sometimes one parent is enough”

“Are you and your mother close?”

“Well, we  _were_. A long time ago. I haven’t seen her for years”

“Do you mind?”

“…Sometimes” he moved his arm and carefully took the postcard and pen from her. “Right, let’s see…”

_Flo,_

_You’ve always been the best of the bunnies. It’s been good having you around. It’s been good seeing Peter with his friends. It’s endearing. You’ll understand that if you ever have children in your life in the future._

_Sorry I haven’t been around much, but my flare-ups always chose their moments (always the bad ones), and there’s not much I can do about it. I hope you’ve enjoyed your little trip anyway._

_As I always tell Peter; ‘Chin up. Stiff upper lip’_

_Loki x_

_-_

Tony watched Peter and Liz over the top of his tablet. Their heads were resting against each other, and they were holding hands. Peter had his eyes on the screen, but Liz seemed a little distracted. Quietly, he stood up and left the room.

-

Loki wasn’t very happy about being woken up.

“What?!” he snapped.

“I want to talk to you” 

Loki scowled and sat up reluctantly, reaching for his Lucozade. “What is it?”

“I want to talk about Peter… And about Flo and Liz. And Malaki”

Loki lowered the bottle. “What about them?”

“Well… I’m not sure how to say it”

“Just spit it out, Tony: I’m too tired for your riddles”

Tony sat next to him, taking his hand. “Should we put a stop to it?”

Despite his fatigue, Loki knew what he was getting at straight away. He sighed heavily.

“Tony, you were a rich slut once too” 

“Uhh, rude. I was a playboy”

“Same thing, isn’t it?”

Tony scowled, and nodded reluctantly. “Peter’s not like me. Look, I think him and Liz are getting close. I see the way she looks at him. So that might happen. But then there’s Flo, and we both know that little thing. And then there’s…  _Malaki_ ”

“You really don’t like Malaki, do you?” Loki said, unable to help noticing how Tony had spat the boys name.

“No, but I can’t really stop them from being friends, can I?”

“What is it about him that’s so bad?”

“You haven’t met him properly, and you haven’t heard the things I have” Tony said. “Let’s just say, there’s a specific reason you make a kid board when you live a twenty minute drive away from their school”

“You don’t think he’s good enough for our baby, do you?”

Tony gave him a look, which confirmed his assumption. “Anyway, that’s like, nearly three people that Peter’s letting lift his shirt, and-”

“Tony, that kid is not ready for sex. Take it from me, the man of experience in frigidity. Plus, you’ve seen him with Flo: that girl’s not likely to so much as bite his neck, let alone anything else”

“What about Liz?”

“ _I_ don’t know! I barely know the girl”

“I’m just a little worried. What if someone gets hurt?”

“What if no one does? Look, it’s just kissing. Each person knows he’s kissing other people, and if they had a problem with it, they’d back out, or at least say something about it”

“I’m still not sure”

“Tony, he’s not doing any harm. He’s just - I don’t know, exploring. Just back off and leave him to it. If he needs us, he’ll make it known”

Tony sighed. “Maybe you’re right”

“Just turn a blind eye”

“I’ve got another concern”

“About?”

“Malaki”

“I see. What is it?”

“Peter doesn’t speak to him”

Loki paused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, as in the selective mutism thing? He can talk to the bunnies a bit, and he can talk to Flo completely, and Liz, for whatever reason. But Malaki? He’s never spoken a word to him, and I know that for a fact. What does that tell you?”

“Tony” Loki sighed. “We both know his mutism doesn’t make sense. There was a time he couldn’t even talk to Happy and Pepper, but he’s always been able to talk to some of your Avenger friends”

“Nat and Bruce and Thor, and Clint. He’s not met Wanda yet…” Tony sighed. “Ok, so he can usually talk on the home front nowadays, and he’s better in most situations. It’s just school and parties really, isn’t it?”

“Mostly. He’s come a long way. Maybe it’s just the school thing”

“But he sees Malaki outside of school too, and-”

“Tony, what exactly is it that you want me to do?” Loki interrupted. “ _Peter_ doesn’t understand what makes him mute, so how are we supposed to? Just leave it. We can’t wrap him in cotton wool all the time”

“You’re talking about the kid who slept in our bed last night because he was scared of having another nightmare”

Loki gave him a look, looked at the wall, and then back to Tony. “Can I go back to sleep now?”

Tony sighed and gave him a quick kiss. “Sure”

-

Once Peter was fast asleep, Tony carefully lifted him up and took him to his own room. He tucked him in carefully, and left him to rest.

-

Peter awoke with a gasp, his heart thudding. Tears sprung to his eyes, and he rolled over to go to his dad for comfort, only to find him gone. He sat up quickly, and realised where he was. He took a few deep breaths, and slipped off the bed, heading for his parents room. He tripped over a pair of shoes someone had left on the landing, and landed heavily on his hands and knees. While he was still getting over the shock of the fall, there was a creaking sound, and he froze.

“Peter?”

It was just Tony, awoken by the thud, coming to check. Peter looked up at him, and started crying properly.

“I had a bad dream-!”

Tony sighed, going over to the boy and lifting him into his arms.

“Come here, chonk” he said, holding him tight and carrying him back to the master bedroom. 

“I woke up and you weren’t there”

“Shh, sh, I know. I’m sorry, chick. I thought you’d be ok in your own bed once you were asleep”

He set him down on the bed and climbed in beside him. Peter cuddled close, and Tony rubbed his back until he’d stopped crying.

“There now” Tony said once he’d gone quiet. “You’re ok. I’ve got you”

“I’m sorry..”

“I told you you shouldn’t’ve left him” Loki mumbled, making them both jump a bit.

“You’re awake!” Tony said.

“Cleverly observed” Loki held an arm out to Peter. “Come here, chick”

Peter moved over and let Loki pull him close against his chest. Tony sighed, and cuddled up with them. Loki opened one eye to look at him. He wrinkled his nose as Tony kissed him on it.

“Love you”

Loki sighed, resting a hand on Tony’s arm. “Love you too”

-

After another full day, incorporating another train trip and another look round all the shops, Peter, Liz, and Flo sat on a wooden landing stage, watching the water bubble through the cracks of the wood as the waves receded into the ocean.

“I don’t want to go home” Peter said, breaking the silence.

“This week has gone so quickly” Liz said.

“Tony did say it was only going to be a little trip” Flo said. She sighed. “I don’t want to go home either”

“Can’t you convince your dad to extend the trip?” Flo tried.

Peter shook his head. “He has to get back: he’s got a big press conference in a few days”

“What time are we leaving tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. I’ll ask dad later”

“We’ll arrive earlier” Flo said. “New York is five hours ahead of here. So maybe we won’t have to leave too early”

Peter looked out at the sea, watching a cargo ship in the distance making its way across the horizon. He always hated the last evening of a trip: it was always so melancholy. He jumped as someone suddenly had their hands over his eyes.

“Guess who?” A familiar voice said.

Peter wriggled away and twisted round to see. “Dad! You made it!”

Loki sat down, pulling the boy onto his lap. “I said I would”

“Where’s other dad?”

“Buying me an ice cream. He’ll be here in a minute”

Peter relaxed against Loki’s chest. “Do you know what time we’re leaving tomorrow?”

“Well, Tony said our flight isn’t until midday, but it’s a few hours drive to the airport, so probably around eight, half-eight”

“Ok, let me work this out” Peter said. “So, leave at eight, flight at twelve, nine hour flight…So we’ll get back at nine in the evening English time, so… four in the afternoon in New York time?”

Loki nodded. “Yes, that way we can drop you girls off at your respective residences before we go home”

“Can’t we leave later and have them stay the night at ours?”

Loki laughed slightly. “No, darling. You know what your dad’s like the first night back after a trip. Besides, I’m not one hundred per cent myself. It’s been a fight enough getting out here”

Peter sighed, resting his head back against Loki’s shoulder.

“That was a tragic little sound, chick”

“He doesn’t want to go home” Liz said, taking Peter’s hand. “None of us do”

“I take it you’ve enjoyed yourselves this week, then?” Tony said, appearing behind them.

“Oh yes, definitely” Flo said.

“Good” Tony said, squeezing in between her and Loki and handing Loki the Mr Whippy he held.

“Thanks, chick” Loki said, moving Peter a little so he could eat.

Peter peered up at him. “ _Two_ flakes?! No fair!”

“Hey, this is only my third ice cream of the week. I was expecting lots more, so I think I deserve two flakes as compensation”

Peter pouted, but nodded. “Yeah, ok, I’ll give you that”

“So, what happens tomorrow?” Liz said.

“Well, I want you to get the vast majority of your packing done tonight” Tony said. “That way we can get ready to go quickly in the morning. Get up, have breakfast, tidy and pack up the house, drive to the airport, get on the plane, probably sleep for most of the flight. Land, drop you girls off, go home, sleep. Or something like that”

“I want to stay” Flo said.

“I know, pet. I do too” Tony said. He noticed Liz. “Liz? What’s the matter?”

“I don’t want to go back. I’ll be going back to Oregon not long after we get back”

“I thought you were staying for ages!” Peter said.

“Well, we’ve been in New York for a while now. Mum texted me the other day saying we’ll be going back sooner than planned”

Despite himself, Peter’s eyes filled with tears.

“I don’t want you to go. Not now we’re friends” 

“I’ll miss you too” Liz said. “We can stay in touch, though. I’ll make sure to give you my address, then we can write to each other too”

“Like those pen pals you see on Instagram?”

Liz smiled. “Definitely”

-

Flo, ever the organised one, finished packing first. She helped Liz finish, and then decided on an early night. Liz wasn’t ready to call it a night yet. She went downstairs first, where Tony was sorting out the kitchen while Loki sat on the unit drinking tea. They both looked up when she came into the kitchen.

“Hey Liz” Tony said. “You on your own?”

“Yeah, Flo’s gone to bed. She’s tired”

“Bless. Well, an early night is probably a good idea, even though we’re not leaving stupidly early, and we’ll have loads of time to sleep on the plane”

“I think she’s just ready to say goodbye to the holiday” Loki said. 

“Where’s Peter?” Liz asked. “I thought he was down here”

“He’s in his room, pet” Tony said. “I think he’s feeling a bit sad. He might appreciate a bit of company”

-

Peter was packing halfheartedly, feeling very glum indeed. He managed to offer Liz a slight smile when she came into the room. She sat down shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m sad”

“About leaving?”

Peter nodded. “And about you”

“You’ve still got Flo, and that boy. And those other girls. And probably a whole lot more besides” Liz said. “You’ll still have me, too. You’ve got my number, and I’ll write, like I said. All old-fashioned, like. We’ll see each other again some time”

“I hate it when good things end”

Liz put her arms round him, rubbing his arm firmly. Peter leant into her.

“I bet this isn’t what you expected when we bumped into each other on the street”

“No” Liz said. “It’s better”

Peter looked at her. Liz kissed him on the cheek. Peter stayed where he was. Liz slowly moved her hand, slipping it under his shirt and resting it on his tummy.

“Do these scars still hurt?”

“No. They’ve been healed for a while now…”

He could feel his face flushing. He liked the feel of her. He liked being close to her. She was looking into his eyes. They were close again. Very close. Peter’s heart was thudding. He knew this feeling. He knew what was going to happen. Liz kissed his cheek again, ever so gently. Peter put a hand on her arm, holding her tight, trying to calm his nerves. She kissed him again, just at the corner of his mouth. There was a pause, and she did it again. Peter let his eyes close. He wanted this. He could feel the heat of her, and he took a deep breath. This was it, finally. One more kiss to the corner of his mouth, and-

“Peter! Do you want a drink?”

Liz and Peter sprung apart at the voice, jumping when the door opened. Loki took one look at their flushed faces, and turned his head slightly, looking at them incredulously.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Liz and Peter shook their heads. Loki gave them a look which clearly said he didn’t believe them.

“Tea?” he said.

Peter nodded. “Sure…”

“Liz?”

Liz nodded. “Thanks…”

“Ok. Pop down in a minute or two”

He left, and Liz and Peter slowly looked at each other. They sighed and exchanged little sad smiles. It was the beach with Flo all over again. The moment had gone.

*


	21. Never Too Late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know this one is kinda short but) Four chapters in three days! Incredible. The next chapter is going to be the last one, just a heads up.
> 
> Also, the airport scene was written while Evergreen by Will Young was playing, so there’s another impromptu soundtrack if you want it

-

Peter was quite proud of how he managed to hold up. It wasn’t until he was inside, breathing in the familiar smell of home, that his lip quivered and the tears spilt from his eyes. Loki took him to the kitchen and got him a drink while Tony sorted the suitcases. 

“I know, sweetheart” Loki said, pushing a mug of chai tea into the boys hand. “I know”

Tony came into the room and wound his arms round the boy.

“It’s always horrible saying goodbye” he said. “You’re ok. Have a little cry, finish your drink, and then go and have a little sleep. You’ll feel better for it”

-

Peter had his cry and his drink, and he felt a little better.

“Dad?”

“Yes, chick?”

“I’m kinda hungry”

Tony looked at him, and at Loki. 

“What are you looking at me for?” Loki said. 

“Are you hungry?”

“Maybe a little bit”

“What do you fancy, Peter?”

“…Cheese on toast”

“Well, that’s easy enough” Tony said. “Let’s get you fed, and then get you to bed”

Peter felt better once he had a full stomach. He cuddled up in his own bed, breathing in the soft smell of clean sheets, and fell asleep within minutes.

-

A couple of days after they got back from the holiday, Liz rang.

“I’d like to see you again before we go” she said. “Are you free?”

“Sort of. Dad’s out at his press conference and told me to stay in today”

“I could come over to yours?”

“Umm…”  

“I won’t be able to stay for long. I’ve still got packing to do. Mum said I could see you for a bit, though, if you were free”

“There’s this cafe not too far from mine. Broken neon sign in the window”

“Blue curtains?” Liz said. “I know the place”

“I can ask dad if I can pop down. He’ll probably say yes”

“Oh, so Loki’s home, then?”

“Yeah, he’s not back at the hospital for another few days. I’ll go and ask, and then I’ll text you, ok?”

“Ok”

-

An hour later, Liz met Peter outside the cafe with the broken neon sign, and hugged him tight.

“I can’t believe I’m going home tomorrow” she said. “It feels like I’ve been back for years”

“It’s been a long few weeks” Peter said. “So much has happened”

“I’m gonna miss you”

“I’m gonna miss you too” he glanced at the cafe. “Shall we go in? They do a mean vanilla cappuccino here”

-

They sat in one beside each other in one of the little booths in the corner, and they spent a long time just talking.

“So, how did you get round Loki?”

“Oh, I just told him the truth” Peter said, putting his mug down. “And did my little nervous puppy impersonation. He said to wish you a safe flight”

“Bless. I think he likes me now, you know. I thought he hated me at first”

“Aww! No, he never hated you. I think he likes you, too. He said you were sparky. That’s a compliment”

Liz laughed. “Bless. He’s so weird. I like him too”

“I’ll make sure to tell him”

Liz looked down at her mug. “I don’t want to go back. I’d rather stay here”

“You don’t really have a choice” Peter said. “That’s the thing when you’re a kid: your parents have the authority over that kinda thing”

“Did you want to stay in Queens after May died?”

Peter paused. “Part of me did. I wanted to stay at Midtown, I know that much, just for a bit of normality. Now I’d rather die than go back to that school. I’m happier at St Hendricks on a bad day than I ever was at Midtown. I do still miss bits of Queens, like the corner shop I used to go to, and the little restaurants I used to go to with May”

“Would you go back if you had the choice?”

“Without May? No. Not in a million years. I like it with my dads”

“You said that with such conviction” Liz said. “I can’t say I blame you. Your dads are great”

“Yeah. I still miss May, but, as horrible and disloyal as it feels to say it, I’ve got a better life now. That sounds awful, doesn’t it? She always did her absolute best for me, I know that, and I was happy with her, I really was”

“Peter, you went from being a normal kid to being a billionaires son. That’s a pretty heavy jump. Look, I know May meant the world to you, and  _I_ know she looked after you, but a normal person can’t give you the life someone as rich as Tony can. May wouldn’t’ve been able to send you to a fee-paying school”

Peter squeezed her hand. “Thanks for understanding. You know, sometimes I think about what it would have been like if she’d survived. We still would’ve lost the flat, but she would’ve come to live with the Stark’s too, I know that. I wonder if we ever would’ve left”

“It’s so weird to think about the what if’s” Liz said. “There’s no point thinking about what might have happened, or if you’d go back to your old life, because, well, May’s dead, and nothing’s gonna change that”

Peter flinched a little. He stayed quiet, sipping his drink. 

“Sorry”

Peter swallowed. “You’re right, though. I do try not to think about it… All I need to think, really, is that she trusted my dads. She always left me with them if she was ill or going away or otherwise not around. She always wanted them looking after me then, so she’d be relieved to see me being looked after by them now”

“Exactly” Liz said. “I take it her and your dads were close then?”

“Oh yeah, they were s-” he stopped quickly, surprised at himself for almost letting the words; ‘sleeping together’ cross his lips. “They were super close”

“It must’ve been nice”

“It was. We were like one big family. Little family. Whatever. We were definitely a family, anyway. We had day trips and shopping trips and lazy evenings and Christmas’s together and all that kinda stuff. I was so happy. I had my dads at the house, and May at the flat, and sometimes all of them together. I was honestly one of the happiest people ever. I even managed to ignore everyone at school enough that I didn’t really care, because my home life was so good. Besides, me and Ned were still friends back then, so I was happy just having him to hang about with in a friend way”

Liz put her mug down and put an arm round his shoulders. “Maybe that’s why it hit you so hard when you lost May; because you were so happy”

“Maybe. That and having a building collapse on me after an explosion” Peter said, and then glanced at her guiltily. “Sorry. Just people tend to forget that even without losing May, it was a horrible experience”

“You’ve landed on your feet now, though” Liz said. “I mean, great parents, great friends, nice school, member of the swim team. That swimming pool under your house! You’re doing fine”

“It doesn’t always feel like it, but I know you’re right. And now, I’ve got you, too. We never managed to become proper friends before”

Liz kissed him hard on the cheek. “I’m gonna miss these little chats”

“Hey, what was it you were saying the other day? You’ve got my phone number. I’ll happily ramble down the phone to you”

“I’m counting on it”

Her phone buzzed, and she took her arm from round his shoulders to look at it. She visibly deflated when she read the message.

“I’ve gotta go. Let’s finish these drinks”

-

Peter and Liz hugged like they could never bear to let go, and in truth, they couldn’t. Eventually they had no choice but to part. 

“Don’t be a stranger, ok?” Peter said.

“I’ll be in touch, I promise” she paused, and then hugged him again. “I love you”

“I love you too”

-

Peter crawled onto Loki’s lap when he got home.

“Hey chick” Loki said. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Peter shook his head, and rested it against Loki’s chest.

“Ok” Loki said. “Well, you just sit there and if you change your mind, I’ll listen”

Peter cuddled into him, feeling oddly calm and empty at the same time, listening to the music playing on the speakers. 

 _Oh, I wanna be a better man than I am_  
Oh, I wanna be the one who says he understands  
If you see tomorrow, I’ll give you it all  
Take me, take me, I’m yours

 _I have so many, so many flaws_  
If you take me, you take me, they’re yours  
Oh, if you see tomorrow, I’ll give you it all  
Take me, take me, I’m yours  
Just take me, take me, I’m yours  
Just take me, take me, I’m yours 

-

Peter couldn’t stay there. He couldn’t stop clock-watching. He knew when Liz’s flight left. He knew what terminal. He knew when they’d be boarding. Hell, he knew what time they’d be getting to the airport. His phone buzzed with a text.

_Thank you for the last few weeks. I’ll see you again some time, I promise! Liz xxxxxx_

Peter read the text thrice over. He shoved the phone in his pocket, pulled his shoes on, slipped past the kitchen so his parents did see him, and slipped out of the house.

-

The airport was so much bigger than he’d remembered. Even so, he managed to track down the right terminal. He looked up at the big screens, finding Liz’s flight, and finding the right stretch of security. He was cutting it close, and he hoped against hope he wasn’t too late. People were looking at him funny, and he wasn’t surprised, but he didn’t care. He rushed down the corridor, past the ‘deposit liquids here’ sign, spotted the security gate, and-

“Liz!”

Liz stopped, spinning round, just in front of the gate. Her mother, on the other side of the gate, stopped too.

“Peter?! What are you doing here?!” Liz exclaimed.

“I-I-I, I had to see you!” he rushed up to her, only for a hand to grab his shoulder.

“Have you got a boarding pass?” the lady said.

“I’m just saying goodbye. Please, I’ll be quick!”

The lady looked at him, and stepped back. Peter thanked her, and stopped barely a foot in front of Liz.

“I had to see you. We’ve- we never got round to it”

Liz threw her arms round him. “You’re like a little character in a film sometimes, you know”

“I’m gonna miss you” he said, hugging her tight.

“I’ll miss you too!” she took the sheer silky scarf from round her neck and wound it round his. “There. That way I’ve got to come back some day to get it back”

Peter laughed tearfully, a hot shaky feeling in his chest. 

“I really like you, you know” Liz said.

Peter looked at her. He could hear his pulse thudding in his ears. 

“Liz” her mum said. “Liz, we need to go”

Liz looked over her shoulder at her, nodding. But she turned back to Peter, stepping closer to him.

“It’s now or never, don’t you think?”

Peter nodded. He could feel himself shaking. Liz pulled him close, one hand round his waist, the other on the back of his head. They looked at each other, and then she bent and kissed him. Even though he knew it was going to happen, it still shocked him, and it was a few seconds before he was able to kiss her back. And it felt good.

Malaki was always pretty rough, and Flo always so gentle. Liz was somewhere in the middle, a perfect mix of both, and Peter liked it. He liked her sincerity, he liked the feel of her hand in his hair, he liked feeling small and in the moment with her. 

All too soon, the kiss finished, and a strong hand was on Peter’s shoulder. 

“If you don’t have a boarding pass, you should be going” the man said. 

Peter nodded, shaking the mans hand off. Liz pulled him close and gave him one last, quick, firm kiss before letting go. Her mother took hold of her.

“See you later, Peter”

And with that, she disappeared through the gate. 

The security officer put a hand on the small of Peter’s back, guiding him back towards the door.

“Time to go home, kiddo” he said. 

Peter nodded, reaching up to touch the silk scarf round his neck, still trembling. The security officer hesitated, and then ruffled his hair.

“Go on. You’ll be alright. It’s only farewell, not goodbye”

*


	22. Hope For The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rocket Man by Elton John / Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John

-

“Where the hell have you been?!” Tony shouted. “How many times do we have to tell you not to leave this house without telling one of us where you’re going first?! And then you didn’t answer your phone, which is- Peter?”

Peter broke down into noisy tears in the kitchen doorway.

“Peter? Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve shouted like that”

“Tony” Loki said. “Liz went home today”

Tony looked at him, and then back at Peter, his face softening. 

“You were at the airport, weren’t you?”

Peter nodded, knuckling his eyes.

“Oh sweetheart” 

“Come here, darling” Loki said. 

Peter went over. He let Loki pull him onto his lap and hug him tight. He buried his face in his chest and sobbed.

“Oh  _darling_ ” Tony said. “Oh sweetheart”

Tony slipped Peter’s shoes off, letting them fall to the floor. He wound his arms round Loki, trapping Peter between the two of them.

“I know, it’s horrible. Shh, we’ve got you”

“I didn’t want her to go!!” Peter cried. “It’s not fair! I’m gonna miss her so much!”

“I know, darling” Tony said. “Hey, hey, shh, come on, breathe. Just breathe”

“Shut up!”

“Peter!”

“Hey” Loki said. “He’s upset. Just let him cry”

Tony sighed, resting his chin on top of Peter’s head. “Ok. Let it out, sweetheart. We’ll talk later”

-

Loki moved Peter to the reading nook once he’d started to calm down. He settled against the cushions with Peter in his lap. Tony soon joined them, handing Peter a mug of tea.

“How are you doing?”

Peter shrugged, not looking at him.

“I know it’s tough” he said. “I know you and Liz got close over the past few weeks. You’re going to really miss her, aren’t you?”

Peter nodded.

“You can stay in touch. She said she’d write, didn’t she? And you’ve got your phones. You’ll see each other again some time, kiddo”

Peter looked down at his mug. He couldn’t count on that. That was the thing with distance: it was so much harder to plan things when you weren’t on each others radar. They might end up losing touch altogether. He had no idea what was going to happen in the future. All he knew was that now, in this moment, he was sad, and he was hurting. 

“Why don’t you tell us what happened at the airport?” Loki suggested gently.

Peter shrugged.

“She gave you this, didn’t she?” he said, touching the scarf still round Peter’s neck. 

Peter nodded.

“She’ll have to see you again one day so she can get it back”

“That’s what she said” Peter said in a tiny voice.

“Well then” Tony said. “There you go”

Peter glanced at him, and took a mouthful of his drink. 

“You definitely found her and got to say goodbye” Tony pressed. “What happened, kiddo?”

Peter swallowed hard, keeping his gaze downwards.

“…She kissed me”

“Oh” Tony said, giving Loki a look. 

“It was a proper kiss too” Peter said. “It was nice”

“Well. That’s good, isn’t it?”

Peter shrugged. 

“Darling” Loki gave him a hug. “Listen to me. Just because she’s a long way away, that doesn’t mean you can’t still love each other. People can’t chose to stop loving people. No one can take that kiss away from you”

“It took us so long to get round to it. I feel like we missed out”

“These things have a habit of waiting for the opportune moment” Loki said. “Maybe you nearly kissed before, but maybe fate said it had to happen at the last minute. And that’s ok. Just because you only got the one kiss, that doesn’t mean it’s any less significant, or important”

“…I forgot about everything, just for a second. It was like it was just us”

“That’s good” Loki said, sincerely. “You know, when you first got back in touch, you told me you used to have a crush on her, but didn’t any more”

Peter nodded. “It changed. She likes me too”

“I know. I could tell”

Peter raised his mug to his lips. Tony squeezed Peter’s shoulder.

“It’s ok, darling” he said. “Sometimes people who love each other have to cope with the distance. You’ll still be friends, no matter what happens. And do you want to know something?”

Peter looked at him. 

“She’s probably crying to her mum now, just like you’re crying to us”

For some reason, that helped.

-

Peter felt better for a little while. As nighttime approached, those feelings of sadness resurfaced. He sat at the breakfast bar, his head resting on his hand, spinning his fork on its prongs.

“You’re not eating” Tony said.

“Mm”

“You need to eat, darling”

“I’m not hungry”

Tony sighed. “I know you’re upset, sweetheart”

“Is there anything you want to say?” Loki asked.

Peter looked at him, and nodded. 

“I don’t know what to do with myself any more”

“I know, I get it” Tony said.

Loki gave him a look, and turned his attention back to Peter. “And why is that?”

“…As well as everything… Liz was a distraction. She was more than that, obviously, but she was still kinda a distraction. All of the stuff with her gave me something to do. Y’know, now that I’m not allowed to be Spiderman anymore. So now I’m stuck, because I’ve not got her. I don’t know what to do” he looked at Tony. “And don’t you dare suggest swim practice, because you  _know_ I hate it, not that you care”

Tony chose to ignore him. Loki gave his hand a squeeze.

“You’ll find something” he said. “It might just take a bit of time to find it”

“I still haven’t forgiven you for taking the suit” Peter said to Tony.

Tony looked at him. For a moment, he thought about clipping him round the ear for his attitude, but he thought better of it. Instead, he just sighed.

“Eat your dinner, sweetheart”

-

Loki held Peter tight.

“Ok darling, ok” he said gently. “Shh. I’ve got you”

He looked at Tony, silently asking for help. Tony sighed, resting a hand on Peter’s head.

“Hey. Shush. You need to calm down now”

Peter slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me! I hate it when you pretend you care!”

“Peter, I  _do_ care!”

“No you don’t!” Peter cried. “Just leave me alone! I hate you! I don’t want you; I want daddy!”

He buried his face in Loki’s chest, howling. Tony shook his head, raising an eyebrow at Loki. Loki sighed, kissing Peter on the temple.

“He doesn’t understand! This is all his fault!”

“Shh, darling” Loki said. “You don’t need to speak. I know what you’re thinking”

Peter clung to him. He definitely believed him far more than he believed Tony.

-

Tony went down to the lab, hoping to distract himself. This hope soon went out of the window. He couldn’t help think about Peter. He got out an old, finished project, looking it over carefully, double checking everything even though he knew everything was in perfect working order. Sometimes he regretted being so headstrong.

-

Loki was the one to take Peter to bed that night. Peter didn’t want to so much as look at Tony. If Tony hadn’t overreacted over the incident at the abandoned building site, none of this would have happened. He’d still be ok. At least, that’s what he told himself. He let Loki tuck him into bed and sort his water jug and night light. He let him hug and kiss him goodnight, and he let him leave him alone. He was too sad to say anything to him at all.

-

Loki stopped in the doorway, glaring at Tony until the man noticed and turned to him.

“What’s that look for?”

“What do you think?”

Tony scowled. “You’re not perfect either, you know”

Loki rolled his eyes and stalked off again. Tony sighed heavily. Families were hard. 

-

Tony knocked gently at Peter’s door. There was no answer. He went in anyway, kneeling down by the bed, stroking Peter’s hair gently.

“You can keep your eyes closed as long as you want; I know you’re awake” he said, although he didn’t sound so sure. He sighed. “I love you, kiddo. You’ll be ok, I know that”

He kissed him on the cheek, half expecting the boy to hit out at him. Tony remained unscathed. He watched the boy a moment longer, noting the rise and fall of his chest, and the dried tears on his face. He sighed again.

“Goodnight, sweetheart”

Peter waited until the door had closed and Tony’s footsteps had faded away before opening his eyes. He blinked a little. The room always looked quite strange in the funny blue glow of the night light. He sat up slowly, and noticed a white box, about twice the size of a shoe box, had been left by the bed. He stayed still for another moment or two, checking the coast was clear, and then picked the box up, setting it on his lap. He hesitated, running his fingers over the card, wondering what could be inside. Whatever it was, it couldn’t make him feel better, not after the day he’d had. Tony was just trying to buy his affection, he was sure of it. What else could it possibly be?

Peter sighed irritably, lifting the lid, and his eyes widened in shock. There, carefully folded, stitched, repaired, and looking more glorious than ever, was his Spiderman suit.

*

*

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so the last chapter is small, and not brilliant, but after so long of struggling, I've finally finished it! And, considering this fic started on one concept (the accident landing Peter in hospital) and everything else was snap-decisions, I don't think it turned out too badly! I'm actually quite proud of some of the scenes I wrote over the course of this fanfiction. Thank you so much to everyone who's still reading! I have plans for the next fic, and should hopefully get the first chapter published before too long!  
> As always, comments and questions are welcome, and encouraged!
> 
> Also, as with every multi-chapter fic so far, I can now tell you the chapter title connection. They're all lyrics taken from songs by Tom Robinson Band! 
> 
> See you next time!


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